Anxiety Archives

It’s Exhausting to Be an Ambitious Woman. There I Said It

Between pleasing ourselves and the people around us, we women lose sense of our ambitions. I crushed my competitive side to come across as less aggressive and more agreeable. I smiled more when asked to. I conform, but then I keep asking myself, “Did I settle?” “Don’t I deserve more?”

Sonia Mariam July 25, 2016

Vice

How My Prescription Drug Abuse Chained Me to Self-Harm

There’s no stigma around prescription medication; it isn’t considered a vice like alcohol, cigarettes, or marijuana. Still, refusing to recognise the demon of addiction doesn’t mean it isn’t perched on your back. I lost sleep, gained weight, and intentionally started hurting myself, leading to a spiral of self-loathing.

Sukrit Koul June 15, 2016

Gender

What an MRI Scan Taught Me About the Lifelong Burden of Sexual Abuse and Trauma

When I was five, my friend’s grandfather forced himself on me. I called for help repeatedly but none came. In that moment, inside that MRI machine, I was that little girl whose almost lifeless body was on the floor, being violated.

Manjiri Indurkar June 5, 2016

Health

What It’s Like to Live With Permanent Anxiety

I’ve tried medication, sought therapy, read books on how to survive anxiety. Nothing helps. So I’ve learnt to coexist with it. For my permanent companion, this friendship is not getting cancelled anytime soon.

Ayushi Murli April 14, 2016

POV

“Meri Parvarish Mein Kya Kami Reh Gayi Thi?” How to Talk About Therapy With Your Very Desi Family

When I told my parents I needed therapy for my anxiety, I only managed to get an “okay” out of my otherwise very opinionated father. And if “meri parvarish mein kya kami reh gayi thi” had a face, it was my mother’s. In our desi households, hiding the fact that you go to therapy is more important than hiding your bra straps.

Ritu Chandiramani April 12, 2016

Vice

My Mind-Bending Experiments with Ayahuasca

A dose of the psychedelic drink ayahuasca sent me on a wild trip. I felt that the creepy anxiety would never end and that I would remain trapped forever in the heart of madness.

Acid Cat March 24, 2016

POV

Can a Chatbot Replace a Therapist? Apparently, It Can

I was adamant not to visit a therapist and then I stumbled upon a “mental health chatbot”. We are a generation that depends on apps for food, shelter, cabs, and sex. So why not therapy?

Yashasvini Mathur March 23, 2016

Pop Culture

The Marvellous Mrs Maisel Asks, “What’s So Funny About Checking Your Privilege?”

As a privileged upper-class woman, Midge Maisel keeps her comedy a secret from her elite social circle. But the second season of The Marvellous Mrs Maisel explores Midge’s anxiety as her disparate worlds collide.

Kahini Iyer March 23, 2016

POV

People, Learn to Take a Friggin’ Compliment

I respond to compliments the way the Indian cricket fan responds to Virat Kohli’s poor performance – by showing zero chill. My first instinct is to assume that the person giving the compliment is either taking the piss out of me or wants a huge-ass favour.

Jackie Thakkar March 11, 2016

First Person

“Yeh Dukh Kaahe Khatam Nahin Hota?”: Why Some People Feel More Pain than Others

From the devastating images of the coronavirus crisis emerging from across India to the rise in intolerance, I struggle to cope with how the world is breaking – physically and in spirit. Sometimes I feel too much for matters that are beyond my control. And this debilitating inclination to push empathy on overdrive isn’t easy to live with.

Sangeetha Bhaskaran March 10, 2016