Manjiri Indurkar, Author at Arré

What an MRI Scan Taught Me About the Lifelong Burden of Sexual Abuse and Trauma

When I was five, my friend’s grandfather forced himself on me. I called for help repeatedly but none came. In that moment, inside that MRI machine, I was that little girl whose almost lifeless body was on the floor, being violated.

Manjiri Indurkar June 5, 2016

Love and Sex

“Almost Lovers”: The Ones Who Make Heartbreak Bearable

When you decide not to turn back after a break-up, you must find yourself anchors so you sail smoothly. These almost lovers, these could-have-beens, matter to me the way love does. Without them, we would be lonelier than what imagination permits.

Manjiri Indurkar May 29, 2016

Gender

Priya Ramani’s Victory Has Given Us Hope, But How Long Will Women Be Forced to Prove Their Innocence?

Priya Ramani’s victory has given us all hopes, but I cannot shake the feeling that she succeeded in proving herself innocent and the man who assaulted her still is free. So it seems there will be other times when women will be forced to prove their innocence.

Manjiri Indurkar May 2, 2016

Bollywood

Ranjish Hi Sahi: How Sad Bollywood Songs Make Life Bearable

I inherited my mother’s love for sad songs. One can be happy for other people, but one cannot associate with that happiness. Sadness is more universal. When Guru Dutt laments, “Tang aa chuke hain kashmakash-e-zindagi se hum”, his kashmakash, the paradox of life, isn’t just love, it is everything.

Manjiri Indurkar April 25, 2016

Love and Sex

The Toughest Part of Breaking Up is Learning to Live with Yourself, Just for Yourself

For five years I was suffocated in a relationship of co-dependence. We were always together. But I was never present. It took me a while, but this year, I realised that I cared about my erstwhile partner a lot, but when I was with him, I had forgotten how to love myself.

Manjiri Indurkar April 9, 2016

First Person

I Am Fat Because My Body Houses All My Trauma

I was constantly being told that I needed to lose weight to look good, to find a boyfriend, to be accepted. But staying fat was probably my body’s rebellion against the society that so desperately wanted to change me. My body is a vault that stores all my secrets, all my traumas.

Manjiri Indurkar March 17, 2016

Gender

A New Wish for the New Year: #MeToo Must Reach Small Town India, And How Bollywood Can Help

In the small-town imagination, the idea of modernity is borrowed from Bollywood – the feisty Tanu from Tanu Weds Manu, the rebellious Rumi from Manmarziyaan. Where are all the well-rounded girls who are compassionate and caregiving, but fierce and independent? The limitations of this modernity will always come in the way of a small-town MeToo movement.

Manjiri Indurkar March 15, 2016

Gender

Cat Person and the Complexity of Consent

At a drunken party, a guy I was chatting with told me he wanted to kiss me, and that I also wanted to kiss him, I just didn’t know it yet. This was the first time where I found myself questioning the idea of consent. Did I invite this guy? Because we were flirting, did I owe him a kiss?

Manjiri Indurkar March 6, 2016