{"id":964,"date":"2016-05-15T13:33:42","date_gmt":"2016-05-15T13:33:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=964"},"modified":"2016-05-15T13:33:42","modified_gmt":"2016-05-15T13:33:42","slug":"gynaecologists-india-sex-education-sex-polycystic-ovarian-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=964","title":{"rendered":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“P<\/span>lease fix an appointment again for this week and ask your mother to accompany you.\u201d\n\nI was sitting in the office of a gynaecologist at a highly reputed private hospital, where two interns and a nurse were quietly bustling about. Five minutes prior to this verdict I\u2019d politely declined to answer the intern\u2019s question about whether I was married or unmarried.\n\nAt 22, I did not think that question had anything to do with being sexually active\/inactive. It was also not germane to my condition of polycystic ovarian syndrome. But the intern had only been filling out a form \u2013 I\u2019d hoped that the gynaecologist would be a little less hidebound. Instead, she\u2019d just refused to discuss my diagnosis with me without the presence of my mother.\n\nI persevered and asked the gynaecologist why, and she simply rattled off how I should involve my mother in decisions about my health. I listened to her from a distance, occasionally registering phrases like \u201cyour parents will worry about you\u201d and \u201cit will be easier to talk with an adult in the room\u201d. Yes, because even at 22 \u2013 four full years after attaining majority \u2013 I could not take decisions about my sexual health.\n\nI\u2019m not the only one who went looking for a gynaecologist and ended up consulting a neighbourhood mausi. You know those gossipy middle-aged women, who stand in their balcony and look askance at every young woman in their colony, commenting on the length of her skirt, shooting disapproving eye darts at her should she be seen talking to a guy? The ones who nudge-nudge wink-wink when you browse the sexual health aisle at the local supermarket.\n<\/p>

I\u2019d witnessed aunties and uncles slut-shaming my sartorial choices in honeyed tones, but hearing the same from a medical professional, was a bit of a shock.<\/blockquote>\nIn a country rife with anti-Romeo squads, where it is well-nigh impossible to talk to your parents and the Internet isn\u2019t exactly the harbinger of accurate information, turning to a medical practitioner for progressive, professional advice on sexual health is not merely important. It is a necessity.\n\nLike most Indian mothers, mine decided to skip the birds-and-the-bees conversation, when puberty hit me like Bernie Sanders\u2019 disappointment in the American people. Instead, she handed me an illustrated book on how to puberty. It was full of illustrations of \u201cwoh waale\u201d organs while I was full of questions thanks to a middle-class conservative family and a regressive school environment. So, at 18, when I was presented with the opportunity to get my questions (now updated) answered at a gynaecologist\u2019s clinic, I went prepared with my notepad and curiosity.\n\nI suffered from irregular periods and my first gynaecologist came highly recommended for cases of infertility. I\u2019d heard murmurs about Indian gynaecs taking the liberty to advise their patients on sexual choices, but had no idea I was about to get downright sermoned.\n
As we inaugurate conversations about sex in the modern woman\u2019s life, our doctors need to update their attitudes like they do their medical equipment.<\/blockquote>\nInstead of educating me on safe sex, my first gynaec instructed me against the very idea of sex, while keeping the flow of her \u201cteenagers nowadays\u201d monologue at a steady, shameless pace. \u201cDon\u2019t do wrong things before marriage, beta,\u201d she\u2019d said, using endearments to cover up for her retrograde ideas. I\u2019d witnessed aunties and uncles slut-shaming my sartorial choices in honeyed tones, but hearing the same from a medical professional, was a bit of a shock.\n\nHow did we get here? As sex \u2013 and talking about sex \u2013 came out into the open over the last decade or so, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? In March this year, India Today published the results<\/a> of an extensive survey on the changes in Indian attitudes toward sex over the past 15 years. According to the survey, in 2003, 34 per cent of women believed sex was unimportant to their lives. But only in 15 years, 29 per cent of women said that they were open to one-night stands.\n\nAnd yet, our gynaecologists continue to channel their inner parlour waali aunty. I\u2019ve lost count of the number of times my friends and I have been infantilised or shamed by the gynaec police that remains cocooned in a regressive larvae of false morality.\n\nFinding the right gynaecologist feels a lot like serial dating. You meet doctor after doctor, in search of the least sexist one, piling up exhaustion, bills, and a hollow feeling of pouring your time into an abyss.\n\nRapper and activist Sofia Ashraf once told me that she had to change at least four gynaecologists, some of whom advised her against drinking. \u201cThey assume I have sex because I drink and can\u2019t imagine the remote possibility that I enjoy the actual sensation of sex,\u201d she explained. \u201cOne, with no counselling background whatsoever, tried to psychoanalyse the reason I have multiple sex partners and asked me about my relationship with my father.\u201d\n\nIt gets even more bizarre. Unsolicited advice is bearable, but getting fed incorrect medical advice? Tanisha*, a teacher based in Mumbai, was reprimanded for shaving her pubic hair when she sought a diagnosis of PCOS. Nidhi* was body-shamed by a Delhi gynaecologist, who asked her if she had sex to validate herself because she was overweight.\n\nI find the saddest part about this is that these attitudes set back whatever little progress we have made to reclaim our bodies and have agency over them. If this is the insensitive attitude we are greeted with on a regular basis, I shudder to think what women who\u2019ve experienced rape and sexual violence might have to endure. In an excellent piece<\/a> by Zenisha Gonsalves about gynaecologists\u2019 sexism damaging women\u2019s health, Dr Chitra Ramamurthy, a senior consultant in the Obstetrics and Gynaecology department at Bengaluru\u2019s Apollo Hospital had said, \u201cWe cannot ask whether a woman is sexually active \u2013 we\u2019re still in India, we live in a conservative society.\u201d\n\nYet, there is some hope. Lawyer Amba Azad and team compiled a crowdsourced list<\/a> of progressive gynaecologists in India, reported to provide sound medical treatment, devoid of moral judgement. I personally found an amazing gynaecologist from this list and haven\u2019t looked back since.\n\nAs we inaugurate conversations about sex in the modern woman\u2019s life, our doctors need to update their attitudes like they do their medical equipment. I hope the next generation of 14-year-olds, who turn up at a gynaecologist\u2019s office with their notepads and bundles of curiosity, will not be slut-shamed, body-shamed, or character-certified. And I hope they will not leave those offices thinking they\u2019ve just endured the piercing gaze of a neighbourhood mausi: They meet enough of those IRL.\n\n* Names have been changed to protect privacy.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":114,"featured_media":965,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[170],"tags":[1746,19,1747,408,1748],"class_list":["post-964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender","tag-gynaecologists","tag-india","tag-polycystic-ovarian-syndrome","tag-sex","tag-sex-education"],"yoast_head":"\nSex and the Sanskari Gynaec<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-15T13:33:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"860\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shruti Sunderraman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shruti Sunderraman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Shruti Sunderraman\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/0886e3dbc1d270a9ba35a7ba5ae85911\"},\"headline\":\"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-15T13:33:42+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964\"},\"wordCount\":1136,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1493998757.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Gynaecologists\",\"India\",\"Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome\",\"sex\",\"Sex Education\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Gender\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964\",\"name\":\"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1493998757.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-15T13:33:42+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/0886e3dbc1d270a9ba35a7ba5ae85911\"},\"description\":\"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1493998757.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1493998757.jpg\",\"width\":860,\"height\":500},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=964#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\",\"name\":\"Arr\u00e9\",\"description\":\"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/0886e3dbc1d270a9ba35a7ba5ae85911\",\"name\":\"Shruti Sunderraman\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/070a048e143cfed455d10f624c54a32c934e68f77889ee5c8ce48c87bded057c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/070a048e143cfed455d10f624c54a32c934e68f77889ee5c8ce48c87bded057c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/070a048e143cfed455d10f624c54a32c934e68f77889ee5c8ce48c87bded057c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Shruti Sunderraman\"},\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?author=114\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec","description":"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec","og_description":"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?","og_url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964","og_site_name":"Arr\u00e9","article_published_time":"2016-05-15T13:33:42+00:00","og_image":[{"width":860,"height":500,"url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Shruti Sunderraman","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec","twitter_description":"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shruti Sunderraman","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964"},"author":{"name":"Shruti Sunderraman","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/0886e3dbc1d270a9ba35a7ba5ae85911"},"headline":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec","datePublished":"2016-05-15T13:33:42+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964"},"wordCount":1136,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg","keywords":["Gynaecologists","India","Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome","sex","Sex Education"],"articleSection":["Gender"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964","url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964","name":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg","datePublished":"2016-05-15T13:33:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/0886e3dbc1d270a9ba35a7ba5ae85911"},"description":"As sex, and talking about sex, came out into the open over the last decade, did our gynaecologists miss the memo? Why do I end up with a neighbourhood mausi when I go for a diagnosis?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg","width":860,"height":500},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=964#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Sex and the Sanskari Gynaec"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/0886e3dbc1d270a9ba35a7ba5ae85911","name":"Shruti Sunderraman","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/070a048e143cfed455d10f624c54a32c934e68f77889ee5c8ce48c87bded057c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/070a048e143cfed455d10f624c54a32c934e68f77889ee5c8ce48c87bded057c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/070a048e143cfed455d10f624c54a32c934e68f77889ee5c8ce48c87bded057c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Shruti Sunderraman"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=114"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1493998757.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/114"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=964"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}