{"id":916,"date":"2016-07-07T01:21:26","date_gmt":"2016-07-07T01:21:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=916"},"modified":"2016-07-07T01:21:26","modified_gmt":"2016-07-07T01:21:26","slug":"sex-tinder-okcupid-whatsapp-excuses-women-use-to-avoid-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=916","title":{"rendered":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"container page-content\"><p><span class=\"dropcap\">A<\/span><\/p><\/div><p>s a woman and a half-hearted adult, sex poses a weird dichotomy: I want it and I don\u2019t want it. I don\u2019t have a low libido, I\u2019m not a prude, I don\u2019t have a bad body image (I have great self-esteem, in fact). Maybe I\u2019m plain tired, exhausted, and I really don\u2019t feel like \u201cwerkin it\u201d. So here\u2019s a secret. Sometimes women just don\u2019t want sex and there\u2019s absolutely no good reason other than the fact that they don\u2019t want it. Capiche?\n\nI have my own sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off on WhatsApp. The worst part of \u201cno mood, no sex\u201d is having to tell the guy that you\u2019re not interested in a good romp without damning his sense of self and sending him straight to therapy. Men are fragile like that.\n\nOr maybe it\u2019s just the men I meet. When sex comes calling, it comes calling, for some reason, in the shape of mopey, small boys, who seem to fancy me an awful lot (borderline obsessive). And it\u2019s at this point that I find myself in the ridiculous position of not being horny and making up an awful lot of reasons to get away from sex.\n\nWhat\u2019s a woman to do if \u201cI have a headache\u201d excuse went away with the \u201970s? The headaches have gone, but the insistent demand for sex has not. I\u2019ve used the good old \u201cgot lots of work\u201d ruse, but it never does the trick. \u201cWriting can be done in the middle of the night,\u201d they tell me, \u201cafter all the endorphins have been released. Wink wink.\u201d They don\u2019t know it, but the \u201cwink wink\u201d sends the sex drive into first gear.\n\nI have learnt it the hard way that the list of reasons for not wanting to have sex has to be crazy. Always. It\u2019s the cardinal rule. And this is not just my rule, by the way. A lot women swear by it because \u201cno means no\u201d isn\u2019t taken seriously by <em>Love Me Tinder<\/em> boys. They pull an all-nighter with the \u201cwhat ya, come on ya\u201d. What\u2019s a girl to do? Go the <em>Love Actually<\/em> way and show up at their doorstep with a series of placards declaring: \u201cNO I DON\u2019T WANT TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT. MAYBE ANOTHER TIME?\u201d\n\nIt is for this reason that women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d.\n\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\"><p>Am I a horrible woman? Probably. But I\u2019m better than the guy who told me that I owed him because I\u2019d left him with \u201cblue balls\u201d. <\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nThe No 1 excuse used regularly by my girlfriends and their girlfriends and their cousins and their friends \u2013 periods. Have I disappointed you? You go like, \u201cPeriods are normal and natural, and let us celebrate female fertility.\u201d Wrong! To the Tinder\/OkCupid boys, me being on my period means there\u2019s a crime scene unfolding in my pants. And trust me, it works until once in a million blue moons, the guy you\u2019re about to get it on with, will turn out to be a bloodhound, an Edward Cullen. He\u2019s even ready to go down on you, blood and all, and is like, \u201cPeriods are bloody cool.\u201d Let me say in many different ways\u2026 you are f**ked, in which case you need to look for some stronger excuse, girlfriend. And my mantra is, after getting down, get dirty and disgusting.\n\nI have, on more than one occasion, used a wholly imaginary vaginal rash as an effective excuse. Nice boys get very apologetic and then faint, after gently backing off. Since you are now sure that you are okay with never seeing them again, go for the kill and provide details: \u201cI\u2019ve had it before, but this time it\u2019s accompanied with white discharge, sometimes like curdled milk or cottage cheese.\u201d Ah, the blessed silence that follows. I could write a poem about daffodils at that moment. Am I a horrible woman? Probably. But I\u2019m better than the guy who told me that I owed him because I\u2019d left him with \u201cblue balls\u201d. (Backstory: I was recovering from the flu, felt too tired to continue, and went home to get some sleep).\n\nBut a lot of my friends daintily bypass gross. An acquaintance, a devout Christian, who happened to find a rogue boyfriend in college (God does not judge), had the best way of getting out of sex. She doesn\u2019t believe in abstinence, but wants to get married to have sex. I gather she and Rogue were going the \u201ceverything but penetration\u201d way. When push came to lots of shoving, she\u2019d close her eyes and moan, \u201cJesus is watching.\u201d And Rogue would go soft faster than a popped balloon. Of course, the relationship ended before the semester did.\n\nMy best friend, a Jedi in the art of relationships, tells me about a pious Hindu classmate whose alibi is: \u201cIt\u2019s rahu kaalam now, let\u2019s look for nalla neram (auspicious time), please.\u201d She then switches off her phone and goes to bed. God is still hard to top for door-closing excuses.\n\nAnother young chirpy friend gives me what I think is the best excuse yet. \u201cI just did some self-service, so I don\u2019t have an orgasm left for you.\u201d She might be on to something and I think in her case, practice truly has made her perfect. If the boy refuses to dissipate, she says, \u201cI just had a proper session: four full orgasms. Talk to the hand, son.\u201d\n\nThere are many many such beauties in the weird jar. Everything from \u201cYou look too much like my paediatrician,\u201d to \u201cYour dog is watching!\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off and each time a new gem is introduced, we lapse into the tears of joy emojis, waiting to use it one day.\n\nSo sexcuse us, please.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":136,"featured_media":917,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-07T01:21:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Damayanti Joseph\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Damayanti Joseph\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Damayanti Joseph\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/6e8ebc433c3b65b46e113f4a9de4a2c5\"},\"headline\":\"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-07T01:21:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916\"},\"wordCount\":1013,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1492439786.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love and Sex\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916\",\"name\":\"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1492439786.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-07T01:21:26+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/6e8ebc433c3b65b46e113f4a9de4a2c5\"},\"description\":\"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1492439786.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1492439786.jpg\",\"width\":1520,\"height\":850},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=916#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\",\"name\":\"Arr\u00e9\",\"description\":\"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/6e8ebc433c3b65b46e113f4a9de4a2c5\",\"name\":\"Damayanti Joseph\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/8681fd3cb67c40c9dec645f366f49fbdbcf7c49c05834d2e985cbb257510bf01?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/8681fd3cb67c40c9dec645f366f49fbdbcf7c49c05834d2e985cbb257510bf01?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/8681fd3cb67c40c9dec645f366f49fbdbcf7c49c05834d2e985cbb257510bf01?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Damayanti Joseph\"},\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?author=136\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex","description":"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex","og_description":"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916","og_site_name":"Arr\u00e9","article_published_time":"2016-07-07T01:21:26+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1520,"height":850,"url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Damayanti Joseph","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex","twitter_description":"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Damayanti Joseph","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916"},"author":{"name":"Damayanti Joseph","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/6e8ebc433c3b65b46e113f4a9de4a2c5"},"headline":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex","datePublished":"2016-07-07T01:21:26+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916"},"wordCount":1013,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg","articleSection":["Love and Sex"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916","url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916","name":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg","datePublished":"2016-07-07T01:21:26+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/6e8ebc433c3b65b46e113f4a9de4a2c5"},"description":"Women have, over the course of history, invented a \u201cweird excuse jar\u201d to get out of sex. Everything from \u201cYou look like my paediatrician\u201d, to \u201cJesus is watching\u201d has been used by the sisterhood of the travelling I-don\u2019t-feel-like-taking-my-pants-off.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg","width":1520,"height":850},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=916#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Sexcuse Me, Please: What Women Do to Get Out of Sex"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/6e8ebc433c3b65b46e113f4a9de4a2c5","name":"Damayanti Joseph","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8681fd3cb67c40c9dec645f366f49fbdbcf7c49c05834d2e985cbb257510bf01?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8681fd3cb67c40c9dec645f366f49fbdbcf7c49c05834d2e985cbb257510bf01?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8681fd3cb67c40c9dec645f366f49fbdbcf7c49c05834d2e985cbb257510bf01?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Damayanti Joseph"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=136"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1492439786.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/136"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=916"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/916\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/917"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}