{"id":878,"date":"2016-06-07T11:34:22","date_gmt":"2016-06-07T11:34:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=878"},"modified":"2016-06-07T11:34:22","modified_gmt":"2016-06-07T11:34:22","slug":"tinder-sex-whatsapp-dating-hooking-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=878","title":{"rendered":"Dating Games: From Heathcliff to Harami No 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cI<\/span><\/p><\/div>

think, that he thinks, that I think he is in love with me and therefore I am in love with him. Which, I think, is now pissing him off. But clearly he has no feelings for me and cares two fucks about what he thinks I think!\u201d<\/em>\n\nIt was 10.30 pm and Eva was distraught. She walked in from the edit of her TV show pissed drunk, proceeded to eat all my liqueur chocolates, and drank the entire bottle of Mateus. I sat there handing her tissues, ruefully eyeing the chocolates that I so liked to use during food foreplay, while she wailed, \u201cOh, why is it so difficult to find someone you can love without some goddamn game involved in it? Why can\u2019t we all be DIRECT? You like me, I like you, bring it ON!\u201d\n\nI cursed myself for setting up Eva with my male BFF \u2013 the great Shoulder Singh or SS. A note about SS: He is my go-to guy for all things to do with the male world. He answers all my questions about the male species that Google can\u2019t. For example, what kinds of names do men give vaginas? Or how to download porn without the government knowing it\u2019s me watching? SS always has helpful answers like, \u201cBlame your son\u201d or \u201cDon\u2019t ask dumb questions, let\u2019s go get a drink.\u201d He is also the strong male shoulder I cry on while PMSing or on full-moon nights.\n\nLast month, I thought it was perfect to introduce my feisty GF to SS. I imagined a beautiful wedding where I would look fabulous. But SS rather abruptly cut off my wedding fantasy by dicking around with Eva, not replying to her messages, making a date and then cancelling. He confused the hell out of her with all the ping-ponging, which sent her straight to my couch.\n\nIt struck me that nowadays the thirty-something men like SS were behaving rather oddly. Almost like a herd of deer, right before a forest fire. Ever since urban women decided to \u201cget it on\u201d they seem to be choosing to get off. We\u2019ve all seen them choosing safety in numbers, hanging around solo or in small groups in waterholes on Yari Road or heading for football games on bikes. Single, spiffy, and well-fucked.\n\nWhy would my SS, who wasn\u2019t really Versova ka Val Kilmer, shy away from more glorious sex with the beauteous and luscious Eva?\n\nTwo months after the Eva-SS debacle, I was having drinks with SS, as he vociferously explained to me the break up he\u2019d just had with another woman \u2013 a gorgeous airhostess. I watched him sceptically as he struggled with the right words to explain his disenchantment. Finally, he said, \u201cShe just doesn\u2019t have latitude.\u201d\n\n

The morning after they both text each other furiously while at work. He wants it again badly, he says; she is happy and swept off her feet.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nIt got me thinking about all my single male friends and their love lives. Newsflash, India! Your average men with their average-sized members<\/a> are dumping gorgeous women on whimsical grounds. I suddenly had an epiphany about why Eva and my other girls end up distraught: Thirty-something, single, \u201cwell-fucked\u201d men are playing a game \u2013 a game of musical chairs with the endless supply of gorgeous women available on Tinder<\/a> on any given day of the week. They hang for as long as the music stops, and then, they\u2019re off, basic instincts satisfied.\n\nThe game goes like this: The thirty-something man puts on his sharp shirt and his best \u201cMr Darcy meets Heathcliff\u201d impression. The wining is great, there is hardly any need for dining, and she\u2019s already in his bed. Rough sex, slow sex, languid or frenzied sex, until both parties are satisfied.\n\nThe morning after they both text each other furiously while at work. He wants it again badly, he says; she is happy and swept off her feet. She plays the \u201cnot tonight\u201d card, but the next day there is definite breakfast sex. Now, the man has passed his four-time mark and affectionately pats her bottom with a \u201cGetting late for work babe.\u201d\n\nAnd then he disappears. He is already responding to the two-day old Tinder \u201cHi\u201d while she\u2019s in the shower. The music has started once again and he has moved on.\n\nEva and my girls, on the other hand, aren\u2019t playing a game. They\u2019re playing a sport, something that requires a little more dedication. Say, they\u2019re playing basketball, and they\u2019re engaged with one ball for the duration of the play. The duration of play need not be long and end in an NBA career, but it does involve a fun, affectionate sexual relationship with an undertone of friendship. The big difference is that the duration is slightly longer than the time it takes to get four fucks out of the way.\n\nThis essential difference in the approach to dating has caused many women like Eva to end up on my couch and eat my chocolates. Because the man they liked has gone straight from Heathcliff to Harami No 1. She continues to send affectionate and sexy messages; he responds to the sexy ones, pointedly ignoring any other and making clear that the transaction is about one thing and one thing only.\n\nShe may say, \u201cYou have such kind eyes\u201d but he will respond with \u201cYou have sexy eyes.\u201d Grrrrr. Soon she realises that he is not much into texting (although he is on WhatsApp often). Confusion will lead to some bewildered drunk emotions, where she will clarify breezily that she wasn\u2019t expecting anything more than a fuck, but her entire day will be now spent watching his \u201conline\u201d and \u201clast seen\u201d<\/a> time stamps. But he doesn\u2019t care. She has already passed like a shiny, brief meteor in his star-lit sky.\n\nA little confused and very pissed, Eva eventually moved on from SS and found an investment banker, who is on for basketball. My SS, meanwhile, continues to play musical chairs. I\u2019ve decided to register him on Shaadi.com on the insistence of his mother, but he\u2019s found a way around that too \u2013 he\u2019s decided to treat it like Tinder.\n\nIn this world of instant hookups, bewildered women are learning that common courtesy is no longer a part of being a gentleman. It\u2019s okay to breezily bypass a woman you have spent last night making love to. Lana Turner had once said, “A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.” For the urban male, all gentlemanly charades are off; it\u2019s the time of the wolf.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your average men with their average-sized members are dumping gorgeous women on whimsical grounds. Men are playing a game of musical chairs with gorgeous women available on Tinder.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":80,"featured_media":879,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[505,1588,1049,408,1051,939],"class_list":["post-878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-dating","tag-heathcliff","tag-hooking-up","tag-sex","tag-tinder","tag-whatsapp"],"yoast_head":"\nDating Games: From Heathcliff to Harami No 1<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Your average men with their average-sized members are dumping gorgeous women on whimsical grounds. 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