{"id":7448,"date":"2016-06-26T20:41:28","date_gmt":"2016-06-26T15:11:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=7448"},"modified":"2016-06-26T20:41:28","modified_gmt":"2016-06-26T15:11:28","slug":"the-right-to-sex-what-could-ethical-sex-look-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=7448","title":{"rendered":"The Right to Sex: What could ethical sex look like?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<span class=\"dropcap\">S<\/span>ex is not as taboo as it was a couple of decades back. In the age of the Internet and ever-evolving censorship laws, two sunflowers rubbing against each other is a thing of the past. But with all the progress, for most people, their first adolescent foray into sex is still watching two people kiss followed by the screen turning black. When two good-looking actors wake up next to each other, their bony shoulders poking out of white sheets, we presume they have done the deed. In other words, sex is not only private, it\u2019s potentially, scandalous.\n\nSrinivasan dares you to find one person who isn\u2019t influenced by the world we live in. What porn you watch, what boy you want to impress, how religious you\u2019ve been raised\u2014everything plays a role in your sexuality. How can sex be private when it\u2019s a microcosm of every public, political system that you\u2019re exposed to? While reading the book, I was reminded of Janelle Mon\u00e1e\u2019s \u2018Screwed\u2019, where the lyrics go, \u201cEverything is sex \/ Except sex, which is power \/ You know power is just sex \/ Now ask yourself who&#8217;s screwing you.\u201d\n\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\"><p>We live in a country where marital rape isn\u2019t illegal and arranged marriage is still the norm in most parts. Does this mean the husband has a right to sex?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nIn her titular essay, The Right to Sex, Srinivasan refers to Rebecca Solnit\u2019s essay \u2018Men Explain Lolita to Me\u2019 where Solnit equates sex with a sandwich. Solnit says that \u201cyou don\u2019t get to share someone\u2019s sandwich unless they want to share their sandwich with you\u201d to make the point that no one has the right to sex. While Srinivasan agrees with Solnit\u2019s point, she argues that \u201cSex isn\u2019t a sandwich.\u201d Well, duh! Of course, it isn\u2019t. She goes on to say that \u201c\u2026 it isn\u2019t really like anything else either. There is nothing else so riven with politics and yet so inviolably personal. For better or worse, we must find a way to take sex on its own terms.\u201d\n\nSex, and everything surrounding it, is complicated; the phrase \u2018right to sex\u2019 even more so. We live in a country where marital rape isn\u2019t illegal and arranged marriage is still the norm in most parts. Does this mean the husband has a right to sex? Even in the most progressive of spheres, misogyny runs rampant. Combine that with sex and wouldn\u2019t that make sexual violence inevitable? Is it rape, if a young woman who doesn\u2019t want to participate in sex does so anyway to avoid being labeled a tease? Is it unethical for students and teachers to be in a relationship if both parties are adults and willing? Should porn filmmakers be held responsible for the young people who treat porn as sex education? Is it then censorship if rape fantasies, female degradation and violence against women aren\u2019t allowed in porn? If we start to restrict sexuality, are we regressing towards a time of \u2018respectable\u2019 and \u2018morally pure\u2019 sexuality only to be shared between a husband and a wife?\n\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\"><p>Its relevance to India, a country where politicians infamously have cited <em>chowmein<\/em> as a cause for rape, as a whole remains elusive.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nSrinivasan asks these questions in a clean, direct manner. She doesn\u2019t beat around the bush given the vast expanse of topics she covers. Each section is framed to make you consider if you agree or disagree; to raise more questions. The delight of reading this collection lies not in the confidence with which Srinivasan presents her points or the depth of understanding she shows regarding the topic\u2014for me, the best part of this collection is the way she addresses questions that just as they pop into your brain. But despite its claims of objectivity, it is easy to see the author\u2019s biases creeping in. The essays are predominantly centered around the west, or the metropolitan parts of India. Its relevance to India, a country where politicians infamously have cited <em>chowmein<\/em> as a cause for rape, as a whole remains elusive. Maybe, that is part of the challenge in writing such a book.\n\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\"><p>As a woman simply existing in this world, each recollection of a violation felt like reliving a trauma that I am, on some level, familiar with and yet the book didn\u2019t leave me dejected or hopeless.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nI picked up The Right to Sex in search of a nuanced exploration of sexual politics\u2014a topic often relegated to the 240 character limit of Twitter. As a woman simply existing in this world, each recollection of a violation felt like reliving a trauma that I am, on some level, familiar with and yet the book didn\u2019t leave me dejected or hopeless. In fact, what Amia Srinivasan offered to me was what she set out to do\u2014explore \u201cthe politics and ethics of sex in this world, animated by a hope of a different world.\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a world where we are talking about sex more than ever only to find it just as frustrating to navigate, Amia Srinivasan\u2019s 6-part essay collection The Right to Sex serves as a manifesto on what direction this conversation can, perhaps, take.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":439,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11183],"tags":[11412,11305,11413,853,408,11414],"class_list":["post-7448","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","tag-amia-srinivasan","tag-book-review","tag-morality","tag-porn","tag-sex","tag-the-right-to-sex"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin 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