{"id":6822,"date":"2016-06-05T00:24:12","date_gmt":"2016-06-04T18:54:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=6822"},"modified":"2016-06-05T00:24:12","modified_gmt":"2016-06-04T18:54:12","slug":"i-love-you-yaar-the-four-words-indian-men-need-to-say-more-often","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=6822","title":{"rendered":"\u201cI Love You, Yaar\u201d: The Four Words Indian Men Need to Say More Often"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<span class=\"dropcap\">T<\/span>here is an unwritten \u201cbro code\u201d that governs a majority of male friendships. It has a few inviolable tenets, such as not dating or flirting with your friend\u2019s crush, and always leaving one urinal as a buffer zone when peeing at a bar. Another one of those traditions is never saying the words \u201cI love you\u201d or anything to that effect. Male bonding is strengthened through sharing experiences, not feelings, so it\u2019s unsurprising that men usually need some loosening up to honestly express their emotions, especially to one another.\n\nA recently conducted nationwide survey by analytics firm YouGov and McDowell\u2019s No. 1 Soda found that seven out of 10 Indian men in the age range of 25 to 45 years do not actually tell their best friends how they feel about them. The remaining three men are probably sitting in a bar somewhere, hugging each other and saying \u201cI love you, yaar.\u201d However, in a gathering with close friends, men are likely to be more open with each other. It\u2019s not that Indian men are incapable of displaying affection for their friends, it\u2019s just that they are conditioned to only do so in less inhibited states.\n\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Ultimate Friendship Test\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/wVAAZ-w52Og?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n\n<strong>Why don\u2019t men show emotion?\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nPop culture has played its part in colouring this image of stoic masculinity. In TV shows and movies, the mark of a manly man is seen as how he doesn\u2019t let his emotions show. Consider Ron Swanson from <em>Parks &#038; Recreation<\/em>, a character that is less a real human and more a manic dream of macho moustachioed manhood. One of his memorable quotes is the one where he reminisces about his best friend, saying, \u201cI once worked with a man for three years and never got to know his name. Best friend I ever had.\u201d Even though the viewers get to see the many ways that Ron cares deeply for those close to him, the character will never admit to it for fear of being seen as soft.\n\nMany movies that revolve around male bonding share the same trope. The characters admitting how much they mean to each other is always implied, and if it is ever spoken aloud, it usually is done so at the climax.\n\nAt the bachelor party in <em>The Hangover<\/em>, a film about that most quintessential male bonding experience, Alan\u2019s character constantly harps on about the value of friendship, and is consequently portrayed as the socially inept one of the group. Even in<em> Dil Chahta Hai<\/em>, the archetypal Bollywood male bonding film, the three lead characters are more emotionally expressive toward their romantic interests than each other, even though their friendship is what gets them through the challenges they face in the film.\n\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\"><p>Male bonding is strengthened through sharing experiences, not feelings.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n<strong>The social lubricant everyone needs<\/strong>\n\nA <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthspiritbody.com\/male-friendships\/\">study<\/a> conducted by psychologist Robin Dunbar at the Oxford University found that for groups of male friends meeting regularly, up to twice a week, could have health benefits for their members. \u201cBonds can be formed through a range of activities from team sports to male banter \u2014 or simply having a pint with your pals on a Friday night,\u201d said Dunbar.\n\nSo after seven months of a nationwide lockdown, with social spaces closed to public, most men will agree that Zoom calls are a poor replacement for a boys\u2019 night. Thankfully, now that restaurants and clubs in the country are starting to reopen, it\u2019s going to be possible to meet up again. And the much needed infusion of male bonding will be reintroduced to Indian men.\n\nWhether it\u2019s life imitating art or the other way round, what\u2019s clear is that men don\u2019t open up to each other. And when they do, it\u2019s likely only to their closest friends. It\u2019s like The Beatles sang, we get by with a little help from our friends.\n\n*Celebrate Responsibly\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A recently conducted nationwide survey found that seven out of 10 Indian men in the age range of 25 to 45 years do not actually tell their best friends how they feel about them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":6823,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7083],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u201cI Love You, Yaar\u201d: The Four Words Indian Men Need to Say More Often<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A recently conducted nationwide survey found that seven 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