{"id":6350,"date":"2016-05-28T03:07:13","date_gmt":"2016-05-27T21:37:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=6350"},"modified":"2016-05-28T03:07:13","modified_gmt":"2016-05-27T21:37:13","slug":"after-years-of-laughter-jim-carrey-shows-us-its-ok-to-cry-on-kidding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=6350","title":{"rendered":"After Years of Laughter, Jim Carrey Shows Us It\u2019s OK to Cry on \u201cKidding\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“K<\/span>ids know the sky is blue. They need to know what to do when it\u2019s falling,\u201d Jeff Piccirillo tells his father, Seb, in an episode of the show Kidding<\/span><\/i>. \u201cJeff Pickles\u201d, played by <\/span>Jim Carrey<\/span><\/a>, is a Mister Roger-esque figure, an idealist who has regaled and comforted kids for 30 years as the host of a TV puppet show, produced by his father.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we meet Jeff in the first season, one of his 13-year-old twins, Phil, is killed in an accident, when a truck driver runs through an intersection and hits the car being driven by Jill, Jeff\u2019s wife. His inner world comes undone after his son\u2019s <\/span>death<\/span><\/a>. The gulf between his reassuring, lovable public persona and his distressed self begins to widen. <\/span>Kidding<\/span><\/i> (seasons 1 and 2, streaming on Hotstar) is rife with insights on parenting and navigating the torturous maze of grief and repression.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the first season, Jeff wants to talk about death on his show. But his pragmatic father has his gaze fixed on Mr Pickles\u2019 character as a lucrative merchandise machine. It would teeter on the edge of a <\/span>financial collapse<\/span><\/a> if Jeff veered away from the agreeable, optimist figure that the audience has known him to embody. \u201cYou\u2019ll traumatise the kids. Sometimes when we think we\u2019re opening up, we are actually falling apart,\u201d urges Seb.\u00a0 \u201cWhen kids don\u2019t talk about their dark feelings, they get quiet, it\u2019s the quiet ones that make news,\u201d Jeff argues, offering glimpses of the unhealed residues of his own childhood and his own inability to express negative emotions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the show gets right is the highly individualised process of <\/span>grief<\/span><\/a>. While the bereft Jeff tries to process the loss through his show and by cheering for his dead son\u2019s baseball team, his wife, Jill, racked with guilt and self-loathing gets tattoos on her breast and downs wine. She does not gloss over her anguish. Upset about Jeff writing cheques for the driver whose back is injured in the fateful accident that kills their son, Jill wants to see Jeff\u2019s rage. A scathing remark reveals the faultlines in their <\/span>relationship<\/span><\/a>: \u201cAfter the accident when all the cards arrived, they were all addressed to you. You\u2019re Santa. I\u2019m Mrs Claus. Next to you, I\u2019m the bad guy.\u201d<\/span>

As Jill tells Seb later, the show denies him his humanity.<\/blockquote>
Jeff is a prisoner of his persona. As Jill tells Seb later, the show denies him his humanity. He represses his anger and adopts meaning-making as a <\/span>coping strategy<\/span><\/a>, believing that the truck blew through the light for some greater good. \u201cThe world is a perfect circle of endless possibilities,\u201d Jeff tells Jill but for her, it\u2019s a black hole. Jeff\u2019s insistence on euphemisms also highlights the unhealthy side of positive psychology. He thinks his breakdowns are his breakthroughs and naively labels his separation with his wife as her taking time to \u201cprocess her feelings\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the heart of the positive psychology movement is the assertion that external circumstances affect our happiness only to a small degree and our intentional activities determine our happiness. Co-author of <\/span>The Wellness Syndrome<\/span><\/i>, Carl Cederstrom posits that this philosophy risks endorsing a culture of compulsory happiness \u2013 the idea that you can be well and happy just by thinking the right thoughts. It encourages a culture of <\/span>victim blaming<\/span><\/a>. In the case of Jeff, staying positive through the smog of grief and retreating into the fantastical world of puppets only compounds his despair. The denial of his anger only fuels it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, the surviving son, Will, takes to marijuana, mirrors his brother\u2019s defiant mannerisms, and gives up on his magic tricks that he once loved. He is aware that when his family sees him, they also see his twin. \u201cIt\u2019s nice to not feel like the living dead sometimes,\u201d Will tells his <\/span>friend<\/span><\/a>. Jeff is always seen mouthing platitudes and talking in metaphors to Will but his son just wants him to listen. He can only genuinely connect with his sister Deirdre, a puppeteer on his show.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, instead of helping Jeff process his feelings through grief counselling or persuading him to go off air, Seb encourages him to conceal them and compartmentalise. When physical escape is impossible, compartmentalisation provides a kind of mental escape. Straddling the incongruent emotions of Jeff\u2019s suppressed anger and his alter-ego Mr Pickles\u2019 perennial positivism, makes him edgy. His fury starts rearing its ugly head occasionally. \u201cI talk like a monk but inside I\u2019m St Helen, it\u2019s 1980 and I\u2019m magma from the neck down,\u201d he confesses. Crushing under his moral fallibility, he eventually succumbs to his unaddressed anger and hits Peter, Jill\u2019s boyfriend, with his car. But Jeff\u2019s guilt leads him to volunteer to be his liver donor.\u00a0<\/span>

Jeff\u2019s insistence on euphemisms also highlights the unhealthy side of positive psychology.<\/blockquote>
Giving most of his salary to charity, Jeff lives a modest life. \u201cI don\u2019t like spending money on myself,\u201d he tells Jill, his wife, when he asks her to choose his father\u2019s backyard as their <\/span>wedding<\/span><\/a> venue over the expensive, New York Public Library. It takes the Dalai Lama in the second season to remind Jeff that \u201che\u2019s the monk and that Jeff is only a children\u2019s TV host.\u201d He distills his propriety to his abandonment by his mother, alluding to the \u201cmother wound\u201d. Not a clinical diagnosis, the term refers to a loss, a lack or a deficit of parenting that bruises the psyche of a child. It offers a framework to understand misguided romantic idealism, codependency, and entrenched feelings of perfection and control in adulthood. While Jeff\u2019s sister Deirdre hankers for her father\u2019s elusive approval and does something extreme towards the end of season 2, Jeff comes to term with his anxiety and fires his father as the producer of his show.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All along, the answers lie in <\/span>Puppet Time<\/span><\/i>, the show that Jeff hosts, which deploys the tools of songs and magical realism to deconstruct difficult subjects for kids: \u201cYou can feel anything at all\u2026 happy, sad, big or very small. It\u2019s you who\u2019s doing the feeling and that makes it okay and if you don\u2019t know who you are yet, you can feel it anyway.\u201d The simple wisdom woven into the songs is a reminder of how most parents send their children to fancy <\/span>schools<\/span><\/a> to foster their intellectual growth but pay very little attention to their kids\u2019 emotional intelligence.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeff starts healing when he confronts his pent up wrath and lessens its charge. He even admits to Jill that he blames her for Phil\u2019s death. The sincerity of that ire liberates her from self-flagellation. Jeff feels the need to relinquish his utopian worldview and the guise of the children\u2019s saviour. He begins embracing his role as a father and even beats up a man to protect Will, in full public view. When Will asks him, if he\u2019s worried that people won\u2019t like him anymore, he says, \u201cEven Jesus had enemies.\u201d Will points out that Jesus didn\u2019t beat up people, to which Jeff quips, \u201cJesus was not a father.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a recent interview with Indiewire, Jim Carrey says, \u201cI\u2019ve known so many people\u2026 everyone around them says, \u2018Wow, that\u2019s the nicest person in the world,\u2019 And I sit back and go, \u2018Yeah, but are they nice, or are they just afraid to be seen as flawed? Are they afraid to be seen as <\/span>emotional<\/span><\/a>?\u2019 Is it an act of cowardice to be nice sometimes?\u201d <\/span>Kidding<\/span><\/i> makes a case for acknowledging and being responsible for our pain \u2013 to heal, reparent ourselves, and reject the toxic \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d culture.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kidding, starring Jim Carrey, is a show that focuses on the ugly side of positive psychology and the highly individualised process of grief. It makes a case for acknowledging and being responsible for our pain \u2013 and rejecting the toxic \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d culture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":77,"featured_media":6351,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82],"tags":[10354,10355,10356,10357,10358,6717,10359],"class_list":["post-6350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-good-vibes-only","tag-jeff-piccirillo","tag-jeff-pickles","tag-jim-carrey","tag-kidding","tag-psychology","tag-the-wellness-syndrome"],"yoast_head":"\nAfter Years of Laughter, Jim Carrey Shows Us It\u2019s OK to Cry on \u201cKidding\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kidding, starring Jim Carrey, is a show that focuses on the ugly side of positive psychology and the highly individualised process of grief. 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