{"id":5437,"date":"2016-07-15T18:40:17","date_gmt":"2016-07-15T13:10:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437"},"modified":"2026-07-17T21:38:58","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T16:08:58","slug":"25-years-of-friends-ross-rachel-joey-phoebe-chandler-bing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=5437","title":{"rendered":"Revisiting F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The One Where We Defend the Sitcom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I<\/span><\/p>t has been close to three decades since the reckless gang of <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i> \u2013 Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Ross, Phoebe, and Monica entered our lives and over the course of 10 seasons, forged an indelible <\/span>relationship<\/span><\/a> with us. When<\/span> F.R.I.E.N.D.S <\/span><\/i>premiered back in 1994, it introduced us to an over-caffeinated group of friends in their 20s who were navigating their personal and professional lives in the Big Apple. Within no time, we took our picks, whether it was endearing ourselves to Monica\u2019s obsessive need for organisation, Ross\u2019s over-enunciated speech, Chandler\u2019s sarcastic one-liners, Phoebe\u2019s carefree quirkiness, Rachel\u2019s playfulness, or Joey\u2019s possessiveness for food.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nJust like a sizeable chunk of the population, I consider myself a devoted fan of the sitcom. What I like about <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i> is that it has a real sweetness to it. There are a thousand funny things about the show, most of which have invariably been dissected several times over the years, but the parts that I fall for are always the more tender moments. Take for instance, the sequence where Ross walks Susan down the aisle on her <\/span>wedding<\/span><\/a> day or when Monica proposes to Chandler. I also can\u2019t get enough of the scene when Chandler walks Phoebe down the aisle on her wedding day or when Rachel sings <\/span>Baby Got Back <\/span><\/i>to make Emma laugh. These are the moments that truly makes <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S <\/span><\/i>sing, effortlessly positing why the sitcom has come to become such a pop-culture landmark.<\/span>\n\nToday, in the culturally sensitive and politically aware times that we live in though, <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i>\u00a0 is the subject of our generation’s biggest polarising pop-culture debates. The show has been consistent in generating millennial criticism that accuses it of being sexist, racist, and even homphobic, coming to the conclusion that not only do a majority of the 10 seasons appear dull but that the show and its characters have also \u201cbadly aged\u201d. Back in 2016, a viral Medium <\/span>article<\/span><\/a> titled, \u201cHow A TV Sitcom Triggered the Downfall of a Western Civilisation\u201d argued that <\/span>\u201c<\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S <\/span><\/i>signals a harsh embrace of anti-intellectualism in America, where a gifted and intelligent man is persecuted by his idiot compatriots.\u201d It\u2019s almost impossible to scroll down Twitter on any given day without someone insinuating that the worst thing anyone could do in 2019 is still have a soft spot for <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i>.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nI\u2019m not suggesting that any criticism on these lines isn\u2019t valid. After all, these complaints are a sign of how much we\u2019ve evolved: we\u2019re now aware of\u00a0 the implications of caste, race, class, religion, gender, <\/span>sexuality<\/span><\/a> and also the diverse ways in which they intersect. But I often wonder if using this 2019 lens to critique a TV show that is not from this time, a valid critique of it.\u00a0<\/span>\n\n\"F.R.I.E.N.D.S\"\n\nToday, in the culturally sensitive and politically aware times that we live in though, F.R.I.E.N.D.S is the subject of our generation’s biggest polarising pop-culture debates.\n\nBright\/Kauffman\/Crane Productions\nWarner Bros. Television\n\nFor instance, there\u2019s a Medium <\/span>article<\/span><\/a> titled \u201c<\/span>Bad Sitcom Characters-Ross Geller\u201d<\/span><\/i> which takes a more scathing look at Ross Geller, \u201cI<\/span>n season nine, Ross actually fires a male nanny, Sandy, because he\u2019s uncomfortable with a man working in a predominantly female field. Nevermind that Sandy is the most qualified nanny they\u2019re going to find \u2014 clearly, catering to Ross\u2019 misogyny is a bigger priority than giving Emma the best childcare.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>\n\nIf you read these lines in isolation, you\u2019re inclined to agree with the writer\u2019s point. Yet, that\u2019s precisely my grouse with the reductive <\/span>millennial<\/span><\/a> criticism of the sitcom: its reluctance to weigh the sitcom\u2019s flaws against the context of its setting. For instance, what this article fails to mention is that<\/span> the same episode also reveals the reason behind Ross acting that way. We learn that it resulted from deep-seated issues regarding his father, who was uncomfortable with him being sensitive.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nOver the years, Ross internalises that shame, hiding a part of himself. In that sense, Ross firing a nanny because he is a man, says more about his insecurities than his biases. Sure, his behaviour might not be politically correct in the first place, but a reading of the scene (and by extension, our reaction to it) is incomplete without also taking into account the context behind his unease around a <\/span>sensitive<\/span><\/a> person. I\u2019d always thought that this scene was a progressive revelation and a fascinating device for character development: It\u2019s what <\/span>helps us understand that Ross wasn\u2019t trying to conserve some rigid idea of masculinity but reveals how men often become a victim of their own social prejudices.\u00a0<\/span>\n

Yet, that\u2019s precisely my grouse with the reductive millennial criticism of the sitcom: its reluctance to weigh the sitcom\u2019s flaws against the context of its setting.<\/blockquote>\nMoreover, I believe that the characters in any TV show should have the freedom to make politically incorrect choices: Ross is allowed to be uncomfortable with Ben playing with dolls, Chandler is allowed to be sensitive about his <\/span>masculinity<\/span><\/a>, and Joey is allowed to be, well, Joey, because these flaws in the characters reflect flaws in our society. These are flaws that first need to be recognised, to be corrected. In fact, our insistence on political correctness can sometimes take a dangerous turn, easily misleading us into believing that it is an antidote to homophobia, racism, and sexism, when in fact, at times it can also be a perfect disguise to hide these problems.<\/span>\n\nIn fact, I\u2019ve had a particular problem with the world criticising Rachel\u2019s decision to stay back in New York with Ross instead of starting a new job in Paris as \u201canti-feminist\u201d. It feels quite redundant given that feminism doesn\u2019t necessarily prescribe choosing a career over a relationship as the way to go, instead focusing on the \u201cfreedom\u201d to choose how you want to live. This line of thinking actually invalidates Rachel\u2019s ability to decide for herself: Why is that a <\/span>woman<\/span><\/a> is always presumed to be independent in her decision-making when it comes to career choices but not when it comes to her love life? Why is it that we immediately assume that she must have been pressurised to choose \u201clove\u201d over her \u201ccareer\u201d? In Rachel\u2019s case, she <\/span>chooses <\/span><\/i>to stay in New York with Ross. I could be wrong, but that seems like the exact opposite of anti-feminist. For the sake of an argument, even if we do assume her decision is anti-feminist and that Rachel <\/span>is<\/span><\/i> infact \u201csacrificing\u201d her dream job to be with Ross, is that such an unforgivable act? Just like us, fictional characters, are flawed, and they are allowed to make wrong choices just like we do on a daily basis. Can it be called a blunder? Sure. But to call it anti-feminist is an unnecessary stretch.<\/span>\n\nDon\u2019t get me wrong, not even for a moment am I suggesting that <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i> is a perfect show. It has more than its fair share of issues that are indefensible. Nobody can deny that the jokes about Monica\u2019s weight were inappropriate as is Joey\u2019s treatment of women was degrading. I even agree that Ross was too possessive about Rachel, and that Chandler was not only <\/span>conservative<\/span><\/a> about his masculinity, but also mocked Joey and Ross every time they showed a more sensitive side. All I\u2019m saying is that <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i> deserves a defense, one which situates it in the right context, one which takes into consideration the cultural politics of the \u201990s, the rigidity of the genre, the restrictions in terms of representation, the pressures of network television etc.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nToday, it\u2019s this central perk that we\u2019ve collectively denied <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S<\/span><\/i>.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Even as the sitcom makes a comeback, F.R.I.E.N.D.S is the subject of our generation’s biggest polarising pop-culture debates. The criticism of the sitcom accuses it of being sexist, unfunny, and even bland. But I often wonder if using a 2020s lens to critique a TV show that is not from this time, a valid critique of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":147,"featured_media":5440,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82],"tags":[9260,9261,7280,9262,6457,664,9263,6075,9264,9265,9266,4735,343,4737,2596,4333,9267],"class_list":["post-5437","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-25-years-of-f-r-i-e-n-d-s","tag-bland","tag-chandler","tag-conservative","tag-f-r-i-e-n-d-s","tag-homophobia","tag-joey","tag-masculinity","tag-millennial-criticism","tag-monica","tag-phoebe","tag-rachel","tag-racism","tag-ross","tag-sexism","tag-sexist","tag-unfunny"],"yoast_head":"\nRevisiting F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The One Where We Defend the Sitcom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Even as the sitcom makes a comeback, F.R.I.E.N.D.S is the subject of our generation's biggest polarising pop-culture debates. 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But I often wonder if using a 2020s lens to critique a TV show that is not from this time, a valid critique of it.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Priyanka Aidasani","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437"},"author":{"name":"Priyanka Aidasani","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/44a24c716cb77308bdcf7ef6451156cf"},"headline":"Revisiting F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The One Where We Defend the Sitcom","datePublished":"2016-07-15T13:10:17+00:00","dateModified":"2026-07-17T16:08:58+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437"},"wordCount":1368,"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1621509976.png","keywords":["25 Years of F.R.I.E.N.D.S","bland","Chandler","conservative","F.R.I.E.N.D.S","Homophobia","Joey","Masculinity","millennial criticism","Monica","Phoebe","rachel","Racism","ross","sexism","Sexist","unfunny"],"articleSection":["Pop Culture"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437","name":"Revisiting F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The One Where We Defend the Sitcom","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1621509976.png","datePublished":"2016-07-15T13:10:17+00:00","dateModified":"2026-07-17T16:08:58+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/44a24c716cb77308bdcf7ef6451156cf"},"description":"Even as the sitcom makes a comeback, F.R.I.E.N.D.S is the subject of our generation's biggest polarising pop-culture debates. The criticism of the sitcom accuses it of being sexist, unfunny, and even bland. But I often wonder if using a 2020s lens to critique a TV show that is not from this time, a valid critique of it.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1621509976.png","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1621509976.png","width":1520,"height":850},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5437#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Revisiting F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The One Where We Defend the Sitcom"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/44a24c716cb77308bdcf7ef6451156cf","name":"Priyanka Aidasani","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d1146b92bc4a0eb278a68b0678f75da1be323d5c6bc00d32bbc40c2cc348c397?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d1146b92bc4a0eb278a68b0678f75da1be323d5c6bc00d32bbc40c2cc348c397?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d1146b92bc4a0eb278a68b0678f75da1be323d5c6bc00d32bbc40c2cc348c397?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Priyanka Aidasani"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=147"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1621509976.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/147"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5437"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5437\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5439,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5437\/revisions\/5439"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}