{"id":5383,"date":"2016-06-19T05:47:21","date_gmt":"2016-06-19T00:17:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5383"},"modified":"2016-06-19T05:47:21","modified_gmt":"2016-06-19T00:17:21","slug":"can-a-couple-that-doesnt-eat-together-stay-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=5383","title":{"rendered":"Diets, Differences, and Dates: Can a Couple that doesn\u2019t Eat Together, Stay Together?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A<\/span><\/p><\/div>

scroll through my social media timeline paints the picture of a <\/span>relationship<\/span><\/a> in perfect health. My posts with my girlfriend <\/span>are nauseatingly mushy, and most of our public interactions have an air of romantic hubris to them. I guess I should count my blessings; not everyone is lucky enough to be in an emotionally and sexually compatible relationship. But the overt love-in that Sara and I flaunt hides an ugly secret: we\u2019re incompatible when it comes to food.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nAfter all, one of the many beautiful things about being in a relationship is indulging in new experiences together. Close to the top of that list is trying out new eateries, ordering in from exotic places, and basically being the reason why everyone asks your partner, \u201cIs that a beer belly?\u201d But instead of enjoying these fruits of our formally acknowledged fornication, the advent of Swiggy and <\/span>Zomato<\/span><\/a> has only added to our dietary woes as a couple. Since Sara is a vegetarian, an average evening of Netflix and Chill with the <\/span>new <\/span>Sacred Games <\/span><\/i>season<\/span><\/a> had me relating to Gaitonde saying, \u201cMurga mangta hai mereko!\u201d And when Sara utters those three dreaded words \u2014 \u201ckuch order kare?\u201d \u2014 the rest of our evening involves a heated debate over why \u201cred velvet cake is basically just coloured chocolate cake.\u201d By the end, Guruji\u2019s plans of nuclear warfare suddenly don\u2019t seem so bad.<\/span>\n\nWhen it comes to dietary incompatibility, we aren\u2019t alone. Studies have shown that in parts of the world, <\/span>couples spend up to five-and-a-half days a year deciding what to eat<\/span><\/a>. I\u2019ve met couples, old and young, who have had a gripe over their dietary restrictions. My former boss, for instance, is a strict <\/span>Tam-Brahm<\/span><\/a> married to a steak-devouring Catholic. The two are the picture of a happy marriage, juggling demanding careers with an even more demanding pre-teen son. But all this falls apart the minute the missus decides to chomp down some ribs on the same table as her husband. And I know of a Gujarati-Muslim duo that have been in the throes of a steamy romance for months but haven\u2019t shared a meal together yet. I find it a little bizarre that both these couples can indulge in copious coitus, but draw the line at sharing a meal with both nalli nihari and mutter paneer on the table. These are questions that often plague my idle mind.<\/span>\n\nAs we approach a year of being together, it\u2019s become glaringly obvious that Sara and my palates are on two different ends of the spectrum. She, a fussy <\/span>vegetarian<\/span><\/a> who doesn\u2019t necessarily enjoy overpowering flavours while I need chicken and a generous sprinkling of spices in most of my meals. I caught a ray of hope six months ago when she drunkenly chomped down a chicken burger. But my dream of us sharing a plate of chicken lollipops was squashed when she spent most of the following day throwing up and berating herself for her lapse in judgement.<\/span>\n\n

I find it a little bizarre that both these couples can indulge in copious coitus, but draw the line at sharing a meal with both nalli nihari and mutter paneer on the table.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nMy gripe with vegetarianism aside, couples do differ over much more than just meat. Sometimes, it boils down to how deeply personal food is to us. For instance, I\u2019ve grown up calling the roadside snack \u201cpani puri\u201d but Sara insists on calling them \u201c<\/span>gol gappas<\/span><\/a>\u201d. And sometimes she chooses to challenge nature by putting the peri peri masala on the side of the plate and dipping each fry in it individually. I have a fundamental problem with these things, and witnessing Sara commit these culinary crimes feels like daggers being driven into my eyes.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nThe question of what to eat together is to couples what purgatory is to lost souls. Whether it\u2019s take-out or <\/span>restaurants<\/span><\/a>, Sara and I can\u2019t seem to find our usual <\/span>simpatico<\/span><\/i> vibe. Lately I\u2019ve found myself pining for a meal that\u2019s solely <\/span>my <\/span><\/i>choice. This means not having to settle for sharing a mild paneer reshmi tikka when I\u2019m really craving the succulent goodness of a chicken kathi roll. And I thank the Lord for individual portion sizes every time we go to a chaat stall together.<\/span>\n\nThis probably comes off as a rant, but having a partner who shares your enthusiasm \u2014 in <\/span>sickness<\/span><\/a>, health, and food \u2014 is a big part of the appeal of being in a relationship. After giving it some thought, I\u2019ve come to realise that the reason why we are all so obsessed with getting our partners to try out the food we\u2019ve grown up loving is similar to the reason we want them to watch the shows that shaped our childhood: we want their validation. Having grown up around some of Mumbai\u2019s most legendary Indo-Chinese (or Chindian, for the pros) hotspots in Santacruz and Bandra, I feel the same joy at Sara enjoying a bite of honey chilli potatoes as I did when I first showed her <\/span>Black Mirror<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u2019s \u201cSan Junipero\u201d episode. In both cases, her approval mattered. And even if it was begrudging at first, it\u2019s a triumph nonetheless.<\/span>\n\nWhile Sara\u2019s and my future together is obviously not based on something as trivial as differing food choices (I hope), the culinary clash is definitely a challenge. Thankfully, despite our war over plates of chicken lollipop and paneer frankies, we\u2019ve found common ground in bottles of <\/span>Antiquity Blue<\/span><\/a>.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Having a partner who shares your enthusiasm \u2014 in sickness, health, and food \u2014 is a big part of the appeal of being in a relationship. But the question of what to eat together is to couples what purgatory is to lost souls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":166,"featured_media":5384,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[9166,9167,9168,9169,3970,228,9170],"class_list":["post-5383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-chicken","tag-chindian","tag-couple-goals","tag-foodie","tag-partner","tag-relationship","tag-vegetarian"],"yoast_head":"\nDiets, Differences, and Dates: Can a Couple that doesn\u2019t Eat Together, Stay Together?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Having a partner who shares your enthusiasm \u2014 in sickness, health, and food \u2014 is a big part of the appeal of being in a relationship. 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