{"id":5132,"date":"2016-04-12T15:45:38","date_gmt":"2016-04-12T10:15:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=5132"},"modified":"2016-04-12T15:45:38","modified_gmt":"2016-04-12T10:15:38","slug":"what-i-learnt-from-my-uncles-psychic-whatsapp-forwards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=5132","title":{"rendered":"What I Learnt From My Uncle\u2019s Psychic WhatsApp Forwards"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span><\/p><\/div>

here is very little on Earth I find more tiresome than a WhatsApp group. Most are born of the best intentions: To \u201creconnect\u201d with old school and college mates, or \u201cstay in touch<\/span><\/a>\u201d with extended family that you have neither the time nor the inclination to meet.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nThen there\u2019s the all-important parents group, formed so we can monitor our kids: \u201cAaj kya homework diya hai school mein?\u201d \u201cNext <\/span>parents teachers meeting<\/span><\/a> mein school se kis burning issue pe jawaab maangna hai?\u201d<\/span> In other words, to generally outrage against the school\u2019s policies while keeping a stranglehold\u2026 I mean, \u201cwatchful eye\u201d on the kids.<\/span>\n\nI want absolutely nothing to do with this. If I\u2019m not in touch with any of my school or <\/span>college friends<\/span><\/a>, it\u2019s usually for the simple reason that we never had a connection in the first place. Ab zindagi ke is mod pe \u201creconnect\u201d karke kya ukhaad lena hai humne? The people from my past that I genuinely care about are already in my life and we have meaningful interactions on a regular basis.<\/span>\n\nThe issue with WhatsApp groups is that once they start losing steam, they become dumping grounds for tasteless, misogynistic jokes and hackneyed platitudes. And that\u2019s not to mention the infernal <\/span>\u201cgood morning\u201d messages<\/span><\/a> that can boast of <\/span>clogging up the internet<\/span><\/a>. God, those messages. So garish, so cloying, so off-putting!<\/span>\n

Every morning, I\u2019d wake up, a quote would be waiting for me, followed by a, \u201cGood morning, have a wonderful day ahead!<\/blockquote>\nSo for all these reasons, whenever I\u2019m added to a group, I immediately try to leave. But trying to leave a WhatsApp group is like trying to leave \u201cHotel California\u201d: You can check out anytime but you can never leave. Believe me, I\u2019ve tried. I\u2019m promptly added back, pulled right back into the black hole.<\/span>\n\nNow I\u2019ve taken to doing the next best thing: Muting all my groups for a year. But just as I was getting used to a \u201cgood-morning\u201d-free existence, life did a number on me. A close elderly <\/span>relative<\/span><\/a> suddenly took it upon himself to personally send me a quote every single day. A random relative, a random quote that appeared to have copy-pasted off the internet. Every morning, I\u2019d wake up, a quote would be waiting for me, followed by a, \u201cGood morning, have a wonderful day ahead!\u201d<\/span>\n\nNow, one can ignore the messages posted on a WhatsApp group. Personal messages \u2014 especially from an elderly relative \u2014 are a whole different kettle of fish. I\u2019m sure there are brave individuals who have the temerity to simply ignore such messages, but yours truly ain\u2019t one of them. I felt obliged to reply in some form, to at least acknowledge the messages. Yes, I know… Wuss.<\/span>\n\nIn the beginning, I\u2019d grit my teeth and send a perfunctory reply. Then I started to notice a strange coincidence: The quotes would uncannily address exactly what was on my mind at the time. Like a soothsayer\u2019s prophecy, they\u2019d appear garbled at first, but as the day would progress, begin making more sense, and turn out to be actual usable <\/span>advice<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nOne morning I was talking to my <\/span>husband<\/span><\/a> about wanting to write professionally, and wondering out loud whether I would be able to gain a foothold in the field at this stage in my life. The next minute, my phone beeped. It was my \u201cquoting\u201d relative.\u00a0<\/span>\n
These messages are like my hotline with the universe, a private game we play.<\/blockquote>\n\u201c\u2018You can, you should, and if you\u2019re brave enough to start, you will\u2019 ~ <\/span>Stephen King<\/span><\/a>. Good morning and have a wonderful day ahead!\u201d I nearly fell off my chair in astonishment. If this wasn\u2019t a clear sign from the universe, and my favourite author, what else could it be? Ab toh likhna hee tha!<\/span>\n\nThese series of supposed coincidences continued over the following days. In fact, they persist to this day. I woke up one morning in a bad mood. Something had happened the previous night that had caused me to feel betrayed. \u201cDing!\u201d went my <\/span>phone<\/span><\/a>, and I opened it to this quote by Rumi: \u201c<\/span>For only when faithfulness turns to betrayal, and betrayal <\/span>into trust, can any human being become part of the truth.\u201d Okay jee. Weird. But, in this case, I would choose to be part of the truth then. Thank you for the guidance!<\/span>\n\n\u201cYou will not believe the bizarre shit that\u2019s happening in my life,\u201d I remarked to a friend who I met for <\/span>coffee<\/span><\/a> recently. \u201cI only have to think of something and I get a clairvoyant chhap WhatsApp message from Brijesh uncle that coincides perfectly with what I\u2019m saying. You remember Brijesh uncle, don\u2019t you?\u201d Just as she was trying to place my geriatric uncle who she last met 20 years ago, my phone chimed. Of course it was Brijesh uncle, with his daily dose of gyaan. And the message? \u201cCoincidences are spiritual puns ~ G K Chesterson.\u201d Both my friend and I cracked up so hard.<\/span>\n\nSo, for me, it turns out that there\u2019s some use keeping WhatsApp after all. I guess this is my life now. From abhorring platitudes and avoiding good morning messages like the plague, I\u2019ve gone the other extreme: I actually wait for them. These messages are like my hotline with the universe, a private game we play. Meanwhile, Brijesh uncle is late in sending me today\u2019s quote. I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m saying this, but I have half a mind to ping him and tell him to hurry up!<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently, an elderly relative took it upon himself to personally message me a \u201cquote of the day\u201d every morning. Soon I started to notice a strange coincidence. All these quotes started magically reflecting exactly what was on my mind at the time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":357,"featured_media":5133,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[8726,8727,8728,8729,8730],"class_list":["post-5132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-good-morning-quotes","tag-messages","tag-relative","tag-whatsapp-forwards","tag-whatsapp-group"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I Learnt From My Uncle\u2019s Psychic WhatsApp Forwards<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Recently, an elderly relative took it upon himself to personally message me a \u201cquote of the day\u201d every morning. 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