{"id":4884,"date":"2016-06-11T02:59:50","date_gmt":"2016-06-10T21:29:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4884"},"modified":"2026-07-17T21:21:41","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T15:51:41","slug":"kabir-singh-shahid-kapoor-misogyny-arjun-reddy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4884","title":{"rendered":"Why Kabir Singh is Proof of How Movies Get Away with Trivialising Women"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A<\/span><\/p><\/div>

t the interval mark of <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u2019s packed press screening in Mumbai last Thursday, the dissonance between the two genders of its audience was at its most apparent. As the lights came back on, the young woman journalist sitting next to me was shaking. When our eyes met, we gave each other a knowing nod, a look that was meant to both comfort and complain. A few minutes ago, a seasoned film journalist seated right behind us had yelped in horror at a harrowing scene where in a fit of rage, the film’s male protagonist slaps his girlfriend to have the last word. Another friend \u2013 a bright, opinionated reporter \u2013 walked out of the theatre at this moment, almost in tears, triggered at how cockily the film was recasting the abuse that women suffer at the hands of men as intense love. Irrespective of whether they agreed or disagreed with the film, the men in the audience watched <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i>, but every woman at that screening, was forced to participate in it.<\/span>\n\nAs the minutes passed, the mistreatment inflicted on the women in <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> \u2013 a college student, a maid, nurses, an actress, a random fling \u2013 kept escalating. They were humiliated, infantilised, ordered around, threatened of sexual and physical violence<\/a>, violated, and slapped. But their perpetrator, a \u201ctroubled but brilliant\u201d Kabir Singh, is fetishised as the attractive angry young man whose violence is a subset of his uncontrollable passion. He is also the one portrayed as the victim. At best, the film only accuses him, gently, of being \u201cfree-spirited in a democracy\u201d; a non-conformist who is predictably misunderstood and eventually offers him redemption on a platter. In her <\/span>review<\/span><\/a>, film critic Namrata Joshi succinctly sums up the experience of watching <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> as a woman; she dubs it as a film \u201cthat makes you feel violated.\u201d<\/span>\n\nWatching the film as someone who is invariably also wrestling with just how easily they could be (or have been) at the receiving end of the violence that <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> justifies, there\u2019s really no other way to process it. When Kabir mocks a first-year female medical student in front of the class for her weight, legitimising a mentality that reduces women to their appearances and weighing scales, it\u2019s impossible to discard it as a harmless scene. It\u2019s a reminder of how society has come to police the bodies of women<\/a> \u2013 treating them not as a person, but as a vessel. This implication that men can treat \u201cfat chicks\u201d as dirt, doesn\u2019t come as a surprise to any woman. It has after all, been passed down into our consciousness either by \u201cwell-meaning\u201d relatives or by the men we choose to mother in the name of love. And like the laughs that this scene evokes, even <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> is built solely on the humiliation of women. How do you sit through three hours of such targeted female suffering and distance yourself enough to praise the film\u2019s impeccable production design?<\/span>\n\nBut the argument then is, can a film now not be allowed to \u201cjoke\u201d or depict \u201cflawed men<\/a>\u201d? It certainly can. And that\u2019s the thing about <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> \u2013 it doesn\u2019t merely do either; it constantly and cruelly belittles women and uses the audience\u2019s reaction as reinforcement for its ideas. No Hindi film in the recent past at least, has depended so heavily on making women aware of their gender as the 172 minutes of <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>\n\n\"Kabir\n

\n

The very fact that there was a demand for Kabir Singh is proof that movies in India are never marketed or targeted to a female audience<\/p>\n

Image credit: T-Series <\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n\nThis female helplessness \u2013 a running thread in Kabir Singh<\/em> \u2013 transforms into a perverse celebration of male power with the director Sandeep Reddy Vanga\u2019s gaze of its female lead, Preeti. Preeti, an attractive and fair-skinned girl, is built as a woman whose default language is obedience. In her first few interactions with Kabir, she looks down while he is speaking to her (a trait that the movie later exalts as \u201cgood behaviour\u201d), nods her head in agreement, and is submissive to a fault. Even when her relationship with Kabir borders on emotional and physical abuse<\/a>, she refuses to see the boundaries that are crossed and instead goes out of her way \u2013 like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome \u2013 to gain his approval and love, even at the risk of harming herself.<\/span>\n\nNeither does Preeti\u2019s facial expressions register any disagreement, nor is she equipped with the vocabulary to stand up for herself. And <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> keeps implying that she doesn\u2019t even need to. Preeti, essentially (and quite literally) is the prototype of how men want an Indian woman<\/a> to be: stripped of her voice. For instance, the first one-sided conversation between Kabir and Preeti ends with him kissing her on the cheek, a move that the film heralds as romantic, but which in reality, is a replication of the very many ways that men disregard consent. Yet Kabir Singh<\/em> doesn\u2019t allow Preeti to protest this overture or react to it. Kabir\u2019s move on Preeti isn\u2019t even based on mutual attraction, but merely on the absence of a \u201cno\u201d. It\u2019s a mentality that disturbingly hits home, shaping so many variants of non-consensual behaviour which over the years, have seen women at the receiving end of it.<\/span>\n\nEven when a woman utters a \u201cno\u201d in <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i>, it hardly brings about a change in Kabir\u2019s general entitlement: In a sequence, despite her screaming at him to stop, Kabir proceeds to violently undress a girl, threatening her to have sex<\/a> with him at knife-point. It\u2019s a suffocating scene to sit through that had every woman I know, momentarily freeze at the nonchalance of it all. For the film though, it was yet another comic sequence. Some men in the audience laughed and cheered, even. Some will continue to. But this marked difference in reactions only strengthens the warped power equation between men and women that <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> proudly champions. <\/span>\n\nEvery woman watching <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> isn\u2019t just watching a film. They\u2019re inevitably imagining a scenario where they are stripped of their agency and individuality, only to have a man cross the boundaries of what qualifies as love and what it is never anything but violence. It\u2019s precisely what has triggered so many of us who\u2019ve watched <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i>. The last weekend, I have been flitting in and out of conversations with friends who struggled to land on the right words to explain why a film affected them to an extent, that it became impossible to see it in a vacuum. The friend who walked out of <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i>, sent me a text<\/a> later that night, \u201cDid you notice how some people clapped when Kabir slapped Preeti?\u201d She didn\u2019t really have to ask and I didn\u2019t have to answer for us both to realise that the film’s glorification of a man demeaning a woman and the audience\u2019s acceptance of it, will forever remain imprinted in our minds. <\/span>\n\n

In her review, Namrata Joshi succinctly sums up the experience of watching Kabir Singh<\/em> as a woman; she dubs it as a film \u201cthat makes you feel violated.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nIt is this reception of <\/span>Kabir Singh <\/span><\/i>\u2013 the film made over Rs 70 crore on its opening weekend \u2013 that serves as its coda. It reminds us that a majority of men believe that they own women the same way they own property or tame a pet (It\u2019s not a coincidence that Kabir names his dog<\/a> after Preeti). That, despite their progressiveness, or alliance to feminism, they will respond to the idea that they are entitled to a woman\u2019s blind devotion, even in the face of violence. That it is acceptable that <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> doesn\u2019t only mine female trauma, but also insists that women recollect all of it and re-consume it as entertainment as well as aspirational romantic behaviour. <\/span>\n\nPerhaps, <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> tells us less about its makers, and more about us.<\/span>\n\nThe very fact that there was a demand for <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> \u2013 the complete scene-by-scene recreation of <\/span>Arjun Reddy<\/span><\/i><\/a>, a two-year-old Telugu blockbuster \u2013 is proof that movies in India are never marketed or targeted to a female audience. More importantly, the stubborn defence of <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i>, a film that doesn\u2019t hide how much it hates women, reveals something far more insidious: It\u2019s that movies can get away with reminding women that their feelings and experiences are invalid. (In an interview before the release, Vanga went <\/span>on record <\/span><\/a>to announce that he doesn\u2019t bother about the opinions of \u201cpseudo-feminists\u201d.)<\/span>\n\nIt’s funny but when we talk about our favourite films, we tend to opine so much about the power of cinema to reflect life, how it can articulate our deepest desires and secrets, and most of all, how moving images are equipped with the inimitable ability of making us feel. How do we then, forget the repercussions it can have on half of the country’s population when a film like <\/span>Kabir Singh<\/span><\/i> releases to widespread public acceptance? <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every woman watching Kabir Singh isn’t just watching a film. They’re inevitably imagining a scenario where they are stripped of their agency, only to have a man cross the boundaries of what qualifies as love and what it is never anything but violence. The trouble is, the box-office is applauding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":103,"featured_media":4887,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3114],"tags":[8481,141,3892,8486,8495,8496,8497,8498,8499,34],"class_list":["post-4884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bollywood","tag-arjun-reddy","tag-bollywood","tag-hindi-film","tag-kabir-singh","tag-kabir-singh-review","tag-kiara-advani","tag-misogny","tag-physical-violence","tag-sandeep-reddy-vanga","tag-shahid-kapoor"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Kabir Singh is Proof of How Movies Get Away with Trivialising Women<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Every woman watching Kabir Singh isn't just watching a film. 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