{"id":4810,"date":"2016-03-29T18:00:17","date_gmt":"2016-03-29T12:30:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4810"},"modified":"2016-03-29T18:00:17","modified_gmt":"2016-03-29T12:30:17","slug":"marriage-problems-overcaring-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4810","title":{"rendered":"First-World Marriage Problems: My Life with an Overcaring Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

W<\/span>hen I got married, I had no idea what I was signing up for, although according to everyone around me, I was a very \u201clucky woman\u201d. After all, I had a <\/p>liberal<\/span><\/a> Pakistani munda head-over-heels in love with me; a man who was willing to go against his conservative family to defend me. And in some aspects, they were right. In the two years since our wedding day, my husband\u2019s maintained his role as my counsellor, chef, doctor, philosopher, guide, and storyteller.<\/span>\n\nNow while this may sound like a great situation, I suggest you save your \u201cawws\u201d, because I have something to get off my chest. While I should be over the moon for a man who will give <\/span>Ryan Reynolds<\/span><\/a> #husbandgoals, honestly, sometimes my husband\u2019s tendency to be \u201cextra AF\u201d and constantly worry about me becomes a bit of a problem\u2026 Let me explain why.<\/span>\n\nFor starters, everytime we go to a restaurant buffet, my saiyyan will fill my plate for me, thinking he\u2019s doing me a favour. I meanwhile feel like a little <\/span>baby<\/span><\/a> incapable of looking after myself. When we\u2019re at the hospital, he\u2019ll go crazy, making sure I\u2019m not accidentally injured during a routine check-up. If I\u2019m out late and he is not with me, he will text me every 10 minutes to ask if I\u2019m okay. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nBack home, my smallest headache is treated like a zombie <\/span>apocalypse<\/span><\/a> \u2013 and since my husband\u2019s an avid gamer, you can imagine how he reacts to such a situation. First, he\u2019ll prescribe a heavy dose of medication based on what he thinks is wrong. Then he\u2019ll spend hours looking up every possible outcome. Sometimes the search declares that I have a tumour, other times, depression. This is his cue to sit in front of me, head in hands, wondering what he did wrong. Then he\u2019ll note down all the possibilities on a sheet of paper and share it with my doctor, hoping beyond hope that something can be done to save me. When doctors suggest that a 10 mg paracetamol tablet would suffice, his faith in the field of medicine fades. He believes the world is conspiring against his dear wife. If God forbid, the doctor recommends that I get a shot, my husband gets so emotional, he has to be escorted out of the room.<\/span>\n

In a bid to pamper me, he often becomes more of a parent and less of a partner.<\/blockquote>\nWhich is not to say I\u2019m devoid of problems. I am someone who has an affinity for <\/span>phobias<\/span><\/a> of all kinds. Claustrophobia, agoraphobia, arachnophobia, ImranKhanophobia, writing phobia, phobiaphobia, I\u2019ve had them all. Now even though I\u2019ve learnt to joke about, it\u2019s safe to say that my husband has not. In fact, it worries him a lot.<\/span>\n\nLast year, we went to one of the best restaurants in Lahore. Being as bad at fine dining as The Flat Earth Society is with their arguments, I accidentally dropped a plate on the floor midway through the meal. Now, in order to save myself from humiliation, and make light of the situation, I told my <\/span>husband<\/span><\/a>, \u201cI think it\u2019s my phobia.\u201d<\/span>\n\nMy husband, instead of laughing it off, got serious: \u201cWait, there\u2019s a plate phobia too?\u201d I nodded and told him that I\u2019d just discovered I had it. Since that day, every time I\u2019ve been around a plate, or accidentally dropped one, my husband walks on eggshells, careful to not offend me. It\u2019s cute and all, but it\u2019s also rather bothersome. In a bid to pamper me, he often becomes more of a <\/span>parent<\/span><\/a> and less of a partner. <\/span>\n\nTurns out I\u2019m not alone in thinking this is behaviour is not without its problem. According to an article in <\/span>Psychology Today<\/span><\/a>, overcaring is <\/span>co-dependence<\/span><\/a> in disguise. People who are obsessed with fixing someone else\u2019s life have trouble fixing their own. I fear my husband is going through a similar situation. To please me, he never disagrees. In his bid to care for me, he often neglects himself. <\/span>\n
Which isn\u2019t to say that there aren\u2019t any benefits of this overcaring. Since I am a terrible cook, who believes cardamom and cinnamon are the same spice, he cooks all three meals every day.<\/blockquote>\nIn fact, during one of our first meetings, when I ordered a sandwich, he made no mention about his allergy to peanuts, until his face started resembling that of <\/span>Hell Boy<\/span><\/i>. He insists on carrying all the grocery bags when we go vegetable shopping despite his back pain. And I\u2019ve lost count of the number of times I\u2019ve made him watch<\/span> Love Actually<\/span><\/i> and he has sat through all of them without complaining. I\u2019m waiting for the day he says, \u201cNo more <\/span>Love Actually<\/span><\/i>.\u201d But that\u2019s just me messing with me. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nWhich isn\u2019t to say that there aren\u2019t any benefits of this overcaring. Since I am a terrible <\/span>cook<\/span><\/a>, who believes cardamom and cinnamon are the same spice, he cooks all three meals every day. Now whether I\u2019m the mood for haldi-chawal instead of biryani, boiled potatoes instead of baghrey hue aloo, it doesn\u2019t matter. My husband will decide. <\/span>\n\nSo while I\u2019m really glad that my husband seldom gets angry, throws tantrums or scares me with those \u201cyou-are-not-the-only-woman-for-me” threats, I wish he\u2019d also stop waiting on me hand and foot once. Sure he\u2019s the kind of husband that Phil Dunphy would take tuitions from, or <\/span>Deepika<\/span><\/a> Padoukone would want to replace Ranveer with, but it only takes one headache before everything changes.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the two years since our wedding day, my husband has maintained his role as my counsellor, chef, doctor, philosopher, guide and storyteller. But before you serenade me with all your \u201cawws\u201d, I have to admit, this tendency to be more parent and less of a partner is a bit of a problem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":252,"featured_media":4811,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[944,224,21,1840],"class_list":["post-4810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family","tag-husband","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-modern-family"],"yoast_head":"\nFirst-World Marriage Problems: My Life with an Overcaring Husband<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In the two years since our wedding day, my husband has maintained his role as my counsellor, chef, doctor, philosopher, guide and storyteller. But before you serenade me with all your \u201cawws\u201d, I have to admit, this tendency to be more parent and less of a partner is a bit of a problem.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4810\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"First-World Marriage Problems: My Life with an Overcaring Husband\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In the two years since our wedding day, my husband has maintained his role as my counsellor, chef, doctor, philosopher, guide and storyteller. But before you serenade me with all your \u201cawws\u201d, I have to admit, this tendency to be more parent and less of a partner is a bit of a problem.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4810\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-03-29T12:30:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1560337488-1024x573.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"573\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Fizza A.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"First-World Marriage Problems: My Life with an Overcaring Husband\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"In the two years since our wedding day, my husband has maintained his role as my counsellor, chef, doctor, philosopher, guide and storyteller. 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