{"id":4728,"date":"2016-03-03T17:19:44","date_gmt":"2016-03-03T11:49:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4728"},"modified":"2016-03-03T17:19:44","modified_gmt":"2016-03-03T11:49:44","slug":"sachin-bhakt-cricket-fan-world-cup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4728","title":{"rendered":"Sachin Bhakt or Statistics ki Dukhan: What Kind of a Cricket Fan Are You?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span>he World Cup could not have come at a better time. We can finally stop pretending that we care about politics and start obsessing over the straight drive and the doosra. Nothing brings a group of people together more than watching a live cricket match in an over-crowded living room. Get your popcorn out of the microwave and pull out those bleeding blue jerseys because here\u2019s a list of desi <\/p>World Cup<\/span><\/a> fans you\u2019re likely to encounter this cricketing season.<\/span>\n\nStatistics Hi Meri Dulhan Hai<\/b>\n\nThis guy went to an engineering college and realised early in life that he had little to add to any conversation, except for his impeccable number crunching skills. He knows <\/span>Virat Kohli<\/span><\/a>\u2019s batting average to the fifth decimal but hasn\u2019t figured out how to unhook a bra yet. He can tell you in which World Cup Sachin last bowled an over: It was 2011, and also the last time this dude got any action.<\/span>\n\nHow to spot him: <\/b>He will likely be seated at the edge of the sofa. And will start to tremble soon as there is female company in the room. <\/span>\n\nAayega Toh Sachin Hi<\/b>\n\nEven though it\u2019s been over half-a-decade since he retired, <\/span>Sachin Tendulkar<\/span><\/a>\u2019s legacy continues on to this day. Fans like this dude are the reason many still feel like Sachin is part of their cricket-watching experience. This is the same guy who gets more excited to see Sachin in the commentary box than Khaleesi riding her dragon on <\/span>Game of Thrones<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>\n\nThe Sachin bhakt will constantly throw in unnecessary quips like, \u201cArr<\/span>\u00e9 Sachin hota na, toh 350+ pakka tha,\u201d and, \u201cYeh Kohli-<\/span>Dhoni<\/span><\/a> sab kisse seekhe? Sachin se, yaar!\u201d This will be followed by random bursts of chanting \u201cSachin Sachin!\u201d until someone eventually throws him out. <\/span>\n\nHow to spot him:<\/b> He will be dressed in a Number 10 jersey with Tendulkar at the back and carry a sign that reads, \u201cCricket is a religion, Sachin is my God.\u201d<\/span>\n\nOld School Uncle<\/b>\n\nFor this uncle, the World Cup is 48 days of getting an excuse to drink and yell at the TV every evening. He will take it upon himself to remind you that every reckless dismissal is because \u201cbatsmen today just don\u2019t have that finesse, that patient brilliance that comes from <\/span>Test cricket<\/span><\/a>.\u201d Uncle\u2019s love for the \u201cfive glorious days\u201d of cricket is rivaled only by his love for Royal Stag.<\/span>\n\nHow to spot him:<\/b> Follow the stench of whiskey and it\u2019ll lead you to his lair. <\/span>\n

Nothing brings a group of people together more than watching a live cricket match in an over-crowded living room.<\/blockquote>\nThe Indo-Pak Enthu Cutlet <\/b>\n\nThis person has probably only ever tuned in to cricket matches when India and <\/span>Pakistan<\/span><\/a> play each other. They have no idea how many balls are in an over but they know that <\/span>Shoaib Akhtar<\/span><\/a> is called the Rawalpindi Express and that Virendra Sehwag once scored a 309 in Multan. More recently, they witnessed Misbah being caught by Sreesanth when India clinched the 2007 T20 World Cup and that\u2019s pretty much the only cricket they can boast of having seen. Yet, this doesn\u2019t stop him from changing his mobile ringtone to \u201cMauka Mauka\u201d as soon as June arrives. <\/span>\n\nHow to spot him: <\/b>They will be wearing war paint on their face and their jersey will have a #PKMKB scribbled over it. <\/span>\n\nFooty FOMO<\/b>\n\nHe would much rather be watching the UEFA finals and he doesn\u2019t hold back from letting that be known. He keeps complaining about how boring and slow cricket is as compared to <\/span>football<\/span><\/a> and that super-overs are just a rip off of penalty kicks. He will criticise the English cricket team over their failure to excel at both football as well as cricket. <\/span>\n\nHow to spot him: <\/b>He <\/span>will be wearing a Chelsea jersey and defend himself by saying, \u201cIndia aur Chelsea dono ka jersey colour same hi hai… almost.\u201d<\/span>\n\nInsta Story Sailesh<\/b>\n\nIt\u2019s been three overs, the South African team has made only four runs and are having a tough time facing Jaspreet Bumrah\u2019s seam. But Sailesh has already posted 16 stories to his Instagram. These include a separate selfie with the <\/span>jersey<\/span><\/a>, a boomerang of him applying face paint, and a video where he\u2019s holding up his cat in front of his face and chanting, \u201cJeetega bhai jeetega!\u201d Unfortunately, he will also ask \u201ckya hua?\u201d when the bails are knocked off and further enquire, \u201cYeh batting kar raha tha na? Yeh vapas pavilion kyun jaa raha hai?\u201d<\/span>\n\nHow to spot him: <\/b>Follow the sound of Instagram notifications and be careful about his camera flash blinding you.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Now that the World Cup has arrived, you\u2019re sure to find yourself in a crowd watching the games, whether through a store display window or a in a bustling living room. Keep an eye out for the person who still carries a torch for Sachin, and the self-promoter who adds three stories to their Instagram for every over.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":4729,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[394],"tags":[5695,5569,5570,449,5824,8364,8365,5145,6556,879,5878,5766,1524,8366,880,8367,8368],"class_list":["post-4728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports","tag-worldcup","tag-batting","tag-bowling","tag-cricket","tag-fans","tag-jersey","tag-m-s-dhoni","tag-players","tag-runs","tag-sachin-tendulkar","tag-score","tag-teams","tag-test-cricket","tag-types","tag-virat-kohli","tag-virendra-sehwag","tag-wicket"],"yoast_head":"\nSachin Bhakt or Statistics ki Dukhan: What Kind of a Cricket Fan Are You?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Now that the World Cup has arrived, you\u2019re sure to find yourself in a crowd watching the games, whether through a store display window or a in a bustling living room. Keep an eye out for the person who still carries a torch for Sachin, and the self-promoter who adds three stories to their Instagram for every over.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4728\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sachin Bhakt or Statistics ki Dukhan: What Kind of a Cricket Fan Are You?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Now that the World Cup has arrived, you\u2019re sure to find yourself in a crowd watching the games, whether through a store display window or a in a bustling living room. 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