{"id":4722,"date":"2016-04-12T11:56:05","date_gmt":"2016-04-12T06:26:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4722"},"modified":"2016-04-12T11:56:05","modified_gmt":"2016-04-12T06:26:05","slug":"convince-indian-parents-you-want-to-move-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4722","title":{"rendered":"\u201cTussi Na Jao!\u201d How Do You Convince Indian Parents You Want to Move Out?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\u00a0\n

\n\nL<\/span>\n\n<\/div>\nast night my mother walked into my room when I was getting in bed, and asked me if I was done with all my work. She wanted to make sure I had eaten enough, I told her that I had, and also that I\u2019d brushed my teeth. She switched off my light before leaving, and whispered, \u201cgoodnight\u201d on the way out, careful not to disturb me in case I had already fallen asleep by then. My mother didn\u2019t read me a bedtime story though.\n\nMaybe it was because she was tired. Maybe she\u2019d had a bad day. Or maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m going to turn 28 fucking years old next month, and it\u2019s completely ridiculous that I still live in my parents\u2019 house and sleep in the same bed I read my first Harry Potter in. Apart from a few years away from home in my early 20s, I\u2019ve lived for most of my life in this room. My clothes are washed and ironed, my bed is made, and my neighbours ask me how college was, assuming I\u2019m just a very mature 17-year-old. <\/span>\n\nSure, some would argue that it sounds like the most privileged life ever, and are probably picturing a very large baby in your head. Honestly, you wouldn\u2019t be that far off. It\u2019s something I often picture myself, in fact. If I were a 28-year-old, 20 years ago, I\u2019d be married with a child. My only priority would be to find a house and support my family with my job as a bank teller. If I were a 28-year-old about 200 years ago, I\u2019d probably be heading out into battle tomorrow \u2013 unsure if I\u2019d make it back alive. If I were a 28-year-old about 2,000 years ago, I\u2019d be the village elder. Middle-aged 13-year-olds would approach me for advice on how to live a long, fulfilling life.<\/span>\n\nBut somehow, here I am at the age of 28, in 2019, still enjoying the free snacks in between free meals. I should have been CEO of my own start-up, headed for my first stint with failure, and bankruptcy already. Instead, I am almost 30, and I\u2019ve never paid rent from my own pocket.<\/span>\n

“The last time my parents and I spoke about this, it ended with me having to get married to prove that I was old enough to move out.”<\/blockquote>\nThis year, as that fact dawned on me, I resolved to at least try and make the move. Of course there were some a couple of issues: The first, getting a decent apartment on rent in Mumbai <\/span>involves moving out of Mumbai<\/span><\/a>, and the second, my parents can\u2019t possibly understand why I would possibly even need <\/span>to \u201cwaste\u201d all that money<\/span><\/a> on something as stupid as independence. Now while I can deal with the first, it\u2019s the second that\u2019s been proving to be quite a task. <\/span>\n\nFor the last three months, my parents and I have been locked in a constant state of negotiation, over whether the family will collectively collapse if I move out, or whether it\u2019s something a 28-year-old should have done already. When I bring up something about wanting space, I\u2019m reminded of the park near my house. If I say something about being too old to live at home, my parents tell me the story of one of their childhood friends who didn\u2019t move out of their house until they were 50 and ended up becoming really rich. <\/span>\n\nIt would be easier if my parents really wanted me to stay home because they enjoyed having me around, or because I made their lives a little easier. But \u2013 and they don\u2019t hold back from saying it \u2013 they don\u2019t think I\u2019ll be able to \u201chandle life on my own\u201d. Fair enough, at my age, they had already had two children, while I\u2019m still buying PlayStation games. So, the last time my parents and I spoke about this, it ended with me having to get married to prove that I was old enough to move out.<\/span>\n\nNow, if only I could go out in 2019\u2019s Mumbai, get a little tipsy, meet a girl who agrees to come back to my (parents\u2019) house, ignore the fact that they\u2019re now in my childhood room, look straight at my Green Day poster, and decide, \u201cI\u2019m going to marry this guy in a few months,\u201d sure bring it on. Sadly no such situation exists. Even though I\u2019m sure my parents would be very pleasant to any friend I\u2019d bring home, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019d be okay with locking the door and having an entire relationship with someone that close to the people who raised me. At the same time, I\u2019m not going to be the guy who says, \u201cMum, you know I need to move out if I ever want to have sex again.\u201d I\u2019d rather just never have sex again.<\/span>\n\nI\u2019m proud to say my parents and I have never discussed coition, it\u2019s not something that comes up very often. Most of the conversations I have with them revolve around how to get a job and the various ways in which I\u2019m going about keeping my job. I ask them about their jobs as well or in the case of my retired father, how fun life is now that he\u2019s done with jobs. Sometimes, when we\u2019re taking a break talking about work, we discuss the latest episode of <\/span>Game of Thrones<\/span><\/i><\/a>, which they watch the PG-13 version of on TV. <\/span>\n
“I had a friend who made the ultimate call to convert his childhood bedroom into his workspace\/bachelor pad because he\u2019s too scared to bring up moving out.”<\/blockquote>\nAs it turns out, this is a pretty standard situation in Mumbai, considering most of my friends and peers (the men, at least, women have to deal with another whole can of worms), <\/span>have similar troubles<\/span><\/a>. Sure some of their parents could just afford to buy the apartment in front of their own, and others left the city\/country altogether. But quite a few of my friends eventually succumbed to the pressure and realised the only genuine way to move out of your house, without disappointing your parents, was to get married. I had a friend who made the ultimate call to convert his childhood bedroom into his workspace\/bachelor pad because he\u2019s too scared to bring up moving out. <\/span>\n\nFor now, my negotiations have reached a stalemate until I either get rich enough to just buy a building where everyone can live together (and also separately), or do something so horribly irresponsible, my parents kick me out for good. Let\u2019s hope it\u2019s the first.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I were a 28-year-old, 200 years ago, I\u2019d probably be heading out into battle tomorrow. If I were a 28-year-old about 2,000 years ago, I\u2019d be the village elder. But somehow, here I am at the age of 28, still enjoying the free snacks in between free meals. And every time I bring up moving out of home, my parents think I\u2019m hinting at marriage plans.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":119,"featured_media":4723,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[5101,4869,18,309,1220,19,3430,8347,4931,5490,80,1726,22,4497],"class_list":["post-4722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family","tag-adult","tag-essay","tag-family","tag-game-of-thrones","tag-home","tag-india","tag-indian","tag-leaving","tag-modern","tag-moving-out","tag-mumbai","tag-parents","tag-relationships","tag-rent"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cTussi Na Jao!\u201d How Do You Convince Indian Parents You Want to Move Out?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If I were a 28-year-old, 200 years ago, I\u2019d probably be heading out into battle tomorrow. 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