{"id":4641,"date":"2016-05-05T11:11:15","date_gmt":"2016-05-05T05:41:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4641"},"modified":"2016-05-05T11:11:15","modified_gmt":"2016-05-05T05:41:15","slug":"how-i-broke-up-with-the-perfect-sabyasachi-wedding-saree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4641","title":{"rendered":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: How I Broke Up With The Perfect Sabyasachi Wedding Saree"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

W<\/span>hen I decided to get married at 34, it was a very conscious, calculated decision. I am a financially independent <\/p>Mumbai girl<\/span><\/a> with no signs of wanting to lean on anyone \u2013 man or woman, father or husband \u2013 for my stability. But my partner of five years and I share similar goals, both personal and professional, and marriage seemed like the most natural next step. <\/span>\n\nWhen he asked me to stick around for life on the 81st floor of the Eiffel tower last year, I promised myself that it would be the only clich\u00e9d moment of our impending shaadi. But little did I know that my \u201csimple\u201d <\/span>wedding <\/span><\/a>plans would burst open years of conditioning centred around having the \u201cperfect\u201d day that was quietly sealed away in my consciousness. With 50 days to go for the big day, I was already sapped out of every ounce of happiness and energy a new bride is supposed to feel \u2013 primarily due to the never-ending quest of nailing my bridal couture to the T.<\/span>\n\nThe goal was a pure silk Kanjeevaram or a Banarasi <\/span>saree<\/span><\/a> that would \u201ccall out\u201d to me in a saree shop with more than 50,000 pieces, mind you. I am a Kerala girl getting hitched to a Bengali boy \u2013 both colourful and rich traditions \u2013 and there\u2019s no way I can look anything less than perfect on my wedding day, I thought to myself. Look, the irony of readily giving into the pressure of imitating the big-eyed, not-a-hair-out-of-place bride with a designer-friendly wardrobe that Hindi cinema has time and again fed me, didn\u2019t escape me. I grew up watching dilwales chasing <\/span>dulhaniyas<\/span><\/a>, sindoors and saat-pheras, and no matter how progressive I chose to be in real life, when it came to being a bride, I was as clich\u00e9d as a Yashraj film. <\/span>\n\nBefore I knew it, an image of a woman draped in the perfect shade of red \u2013 a mix of vermillion and ruby \u2013 and gold constantly floated before my eyes. I started sleeping and waking up with only her on my mind, to a point where I felt like she was following me. Frantically, I chased my dream saree, first online, and then in person. My pockets were too small for a Sabyasachi, but I secretly stashed countless images of <\/span>Deepika Padukone<\/span><\/a>\u2019s South Indian bridal look on my phone. I would go over them every night before I hit the sack, observing every detail of her look, from the kundan earrings to the soft silk ghoonghat. \u201cYou could never look like her,\u201d I heard my alter ego speak. <\/span>\n\nAs an actor, I already deal with unachievable beauty <\/span>standards<\/span><\/a> girls in my shoes are expected to follow. Although, in the past five years, I have been happy with the way I looked as long as I was healthy. But now, I judged myself in the mirror every day. Suddenly, I couldn\u2019t look past the grey strands, the bulky arms, the almost-double chin, the patchy skin and brittle nails. I joined the gym, started fasting, drank tasteless green vegetable concoctions\u2026 and even gave up idlis. For what you ask? For two hours of my life, two hundred people, and a thousand expectations from the bride on one single day. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n

My partner on the other hand was nonchalant about his wardrobe. \u201cAll I have to do is pick up a kurta and a mundu (dhoti). I\u2019ll do it a few days before the wedding,\u201d he casually told me one evening.<\/blockquote>\nMy modest retired banker father was ready to break his 15-year-old fixed deposit to fulfil my bridal ambitions. From Mumbai\u2019s Mahalaxmi to Matunga, I brought sales people from every saree store down to their knees trying to convince me that they had \u201cthe one\u201d. Funnily enough, by the time I reached the fifth store, the sober cotton sarees were the only ones I was <\/span>falling in love<\/span><\/a> with. In a few days, I started to dread the idea of walking into yet another store. Fear took over every bit of happiness I ever felt about tying the knot with my best friend. I vividly remember breaking down in front of a life-size mirror in a store one afternoon as they draped a gorgeous golden silk saree on me. It was the fiftieth one I was trying, and I was too overwhelmed, unable to see the beauty in me or in the sarees anymore. Do I even want to be a bride if it\u2019s this stressful? <\/span>\n\nMy partner on the other hand was nonchalant about his wardrobe. \u201cAll I have to do is pick up a kurta and a mundu (dhoti). I\u2019ll do it a few days before the wedding,\u201d he casually told me one evening. He wasn\u2019t stressed, distracted or going crazy like me. At the face of it, it might seem like an uneventful exchange, but for me, that was my very own eureka moment. It dawned on me the extent to which girls internalise the expectations of looking perfect on their wedding day. Like countless brides before me, I was trying to toe the line, becoming an image of a bride that another person had created, instead of creating my own. It made me wonder whether the opulence of multi-billion dollar weddings splashed all across my social media timelines made me delusional about the purpose behind mine. I mean, <\/span>marriage<\/span><\/a> itself might be getting out of fashion, but a designer lehenga is a life goal these days. But is the day of the wedding really as life-altering in a girl\u2019s life as it is made out to be? <\/span>\n\nSo that evening, I decided to take a break from trousseau shopping and flew to Chennai for work. Incidentally, just two hours before my flight back home, I happened to stumble upon a three-storeyed building named Tulsi Silks. I walked in casually, without conditions or <\/span>expectations<\/span><\/a> for the first time in weeks. As a salesgirl helped me drape one of the sarees, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror: Confident, happy, peaceful. There was the girl I was chasing for all these weeks. And in less than 30 minutes, I had found \u201cthe one\u201d: A red silk saree that was picked out by me on a work trip.<\/span> It was as simple as that. It came to me when my mind wasn\u2019t held prisoner by anxiety or high expectations. It came to me when I stopped thinking about other people. <\/span>\n\nThere\u2019s barely 30 days left to the wedding now. I still go to the gym, but idlis are back in my life. At the moment, I\u2019m thinking of teaming up the red silk sari with a white shirt and sneakers or maybe I\u2019ll turn it into a <\/span>skirt<\/span><\/a> and a blouse. Who knows? As long as I feel like myself, I\u2019m pretty sure nothing else matters. Not even the latest Sabyasachi saree.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I grew up watching dilwales chasing dulhaniyas, sindoors and saat pheras, and no matter how progressive I chose to be in my real life, when it came to being a bride, I was as clich\u00e9d as a Yashraj film. All I wanted was the perfect red saree.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":180,"featured_media":4642,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[8232,141,5476,8233,8234,8235,5477,8236,8237,8238,21,8239,8240,8241,8242,3682,3410,8243],"class_list":["post-4641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-banarasi","tag-bollywood","tag-bride","tag-designer","tag-dhoti","tag-ghoonghat","tag-groom","tag-kanjeevaram","tag-kurta","tag-lehenga","tag-marriage","tag-saat-phera","tag-sabyasachi-saree","tag-sarees","tag-silk-saree","tag-sindoor","tag-wedding","tag-wedding-day"],"yoast_head":"\nShaadi Ke Side Effects: How I Broke Up With The Perfect Sabyasachi Wedding Saree<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I grew up watching dilwales chasing dulhaniyas, sindoors and saat pheras, and no matter how progressive I chose to be in my real life, when it came to being a bride, I was as clich\u00e9d as a Yashraj film. 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