{"id":463,"date":"2016-04-07T16:18:07","date_gmt":"2016-04-07T16:18:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=463"},"modified":"2016-04-07T16:18:07","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T16:18:07","slug":"roald-dahl-day-willy-wonka-charlie-chocolate-factory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=463","title":{"rendered":"Of Mosquitoes\u2019 Toes and Wampfish Roes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">T<\/span>wo years ago, my family and I were dismayed at the prospect of the Parle Biscuit Factory in Vile Parle shutting shop. When we first moved to Mumbai in the late \u201980s, we lived in an apartment block that faced the landmark plant. On most days, we\u2019d abandon our game of Monopoly or our attempts at mugging up Shakespeare to sniff out what was being cooked up at the factory. \u201cIt\u2019s Kismi Toffee bars they\u2019re making today,\u201d my mother would say, as a sweet caramel aroma wafted across the railway tracks. Another day, a nutty scent would linger in the air, and we\u2019d agree that a fresh batch of Parle-G biscuits was being baked. Living there was almost like being inside a Roald Dahl book.\n\nSo I knew exactly what Charlie would feel like when he\u2019d pass Mr Willy Wonka\u2019s giant chocolate factory on his way to school. \u201cAnd every day, as he came near to it, he would lift his small pointed nose high in the air and sniff the wonderful sweet smell of melting chocolate. Sometimes, he would stand motionless outside the gates for several minutes on end, taking deep swallowing breaths as though he were trying to eat the smell itself,\u201d wrote Roald Dahl in <\/p><em>Charlie and the Chocolate Factory <\/em>in 1964.\n\nDahl effortlessly captured the luscious aromas and subsequent yearning for melting chocolate, and pinned it down in a book that would go on to become our strongest confectionary-related literary memory. Dahl went so far as to write, \u201cIf I were a headmaster I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead.\u201d Not surprising coming from a schoolboy who signed up to test chocolate inventions for Cadbury\u2019s<em>. <\/em>\n\nOn most days, I find myself baking or reading children\u2019s books (so that I can write about them), and in Dahl\u2019s writing, both my enduring interests dovetail. Every time I melt a block of dark chocolate, I think about The Chocolate Room, with its verdant meadows and chocolate river. I hear Mr Wonka say, \u201cThe waterfall is most important! It mixes the chocolate! It churns it up! It pounds it and beats it! It makes it light and frothy! No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall.\u201d\n\nLike most children growing up during the \u201980s, I discovered Dahl\u2019s splendiferous stories only as a teenager. I was growing up on a steady diet of Indrajaal, Archie comics, and Enid Blyton. Dahl came to my neighbourhood library much later, and when I picked up his books as a gangly adolescent, people would look at me all biffsquiggled and wonder why I had never read him before. Once I started though, it was like being on a scrumdiddlyumptious rollercoaster ride for this human bean.\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\">The recipe sounded swatchschollop (as revolting as the title promised): It\u2019s a mix of butter, milk, and yogurt. But the result is surprisingly comforting.<\/blockquote>\nI\u2019m not sure whether it\u2019s the fantastical stories that he spun, of a Big Friendly Giant who caught dreams for children or the horribly hairy Mr Twit with a food-speckled beard. Maybe it was the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/childrens-books-site\/2016\/jun\/14\/roald-dahl-dictionary-best-gobblefunk-words\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">wondrous<\/a> words that he conjured up: Over 500 of them from whizpopping to sogmire to mispise, that deliciously roll off the tongue. Or perhaps it was the worlds he dreamt up, where lickable wallpaper, rivers of chocolate, and a peach that\u2019s actually an edible ship are as commonplace as a beanbag in a start-up office. Dahl\u2019s stories are the zozimus (a dream ingredient, for the uninitiated) that childhood should be made up of.\n\nAnd then there is the food itself \u2013 the glorious, scrumdiddlyumptious food. Before molecular gastronomy became something of a trend, Dahl\u2019s stories were already a whizpopping culinary delight. They are replete with familiar foods and mysterious ones, those that had no explanations in the human bean world. But it doesn\u2019t matter, because our imagination fills in the gaps. We were a generation anyway accustomed to reading about scones, ginger pop, and humbugs, without the faintest idea of what they actually looked or tasted like. So it wasn\u2019t hard to imagine what <a href=\"http:\/\/www.awortheyread.com\/bfgs-frobscottle-recipe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Frobscottle<\/a> \u2013 that fizzy green drink where bubbles sink down rather than rise up \u2013 felt like. Even now, tinda and karela distinctly remind me of the ghastly snozzcumber, a knobbly vegetable with black-and-white stripes. All of these were brought alive by Quentin Blake\u2019s illustrations.\n\nInvention was key to these stories. Who else could dream up the concoctions in <em>George\u2019s Marvellous Medicine, <\/em>full of ingredients such as Golden Gloss Hair Shampoo that was sure to wash Grandma\u2019s tummy nice and clean, and toothpaste to brighten up her horrid brown teeth? It\u2019s remarkable how Dahl knew just what children loved to do: My nephew can spend hours concocting all sorts of potions with coffee beans and water. He looks high and low for bits and bobs to add to it, relishing the results that look more and more vile. Rules, when it comes to invention, must go straight out of the window.\n\nLike this particular ditty from <em>James and the Giant Peach: <\/em>\n\n<em>I often eat boiled slobbages. They\u2019re grand when served\nbeside\nMinced doodlebugs and curried slugs. And have you ever\ntried\nMosquitoes\u2019 toes and wampfish roes\nMost delicately fried?\n(The only trouble is they disagree with my inside.)<\/em>\n\n\u00a0\n\nI don\u2019t know what a doodlebug is, but just the thought of a boiled slobbage is enough to make me want to unwrap a piece of dark chocolate and try to forget about it. Or wickedly threaten my nephew with that when I meet him next. But then perhaps, Dahl was just prophetic, with insects being proposed as staple, resilient <a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/gastronomy\/one-decaf-cockroach-milk-latte-please\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">food<\/a> thanks to climate change.\n\nJust as Dahl\u2019s stories were cautionary about the excesses of food, they tackled the grave idea of hunger. As Mr Fantastic Fox\u2019s family go hungry, Dahl describes the anguish the fox parents go through. When the cubs cry from hunger, he writes, \u201c\u2018How long will it be till we get something to eat?\u2019 their mother didn\u2019t answer them. Nor did their father. There was no answer to give.\u201d Later, Mr Fox says, \u201cDo you know anyone in the <em>whole world<\/em> who wouldn\u2019t swipe a few chickens if his children were starving to death?\u201d\n\nIn <em>The Chocolate Factory, <\/em>Charlie\u2019s family is so poor that \u201cthe only meals they could afford were bread and margarine for breakfast, boiled potatoes and cabbage for lunch, and cabbage soup for supper. Sundays were a bit better. They all looked forward to Sundays because then, although they had exactly the same, everyone was allowed a second helping.\u201d The same book is a lesson in food security: On one hand Dahl writes about poverty and malnourishment, while starkly contrasting it with the \u201chaves\u201d who revel in gluttony, but ultimately are acquainted with the pitfalls of greed. Obesity, in most of his books, was not a trait he loved.\n\nYet, what\u2019s unmistakable is that so many of the stories are about the joys of food, sharing it, and eating it. And some of the recipes are not even that difficult to pull off. In <em>Roald Dahl\u2019s Revolting Recipes, <\/em>\u201can interpretation of some of the scrumptious and wonderfully disgusting dishes\u201d from his books, you will find recipes for Mosquitoes\u2019 Toes and Wampfish Roes made with cod fillets and Lickable Wallpapers made with fruit and gelatine. In the introduction, his wife Felicity Dahl writes, \u201cTreats were an essential part of Roald\u2019s life \u2013 never too many, never too few, and always perfectly timed.\u201d\n\nParsing the recipe book, I couldn&#8217;t help but wonder about Butterscotch, which makes the Oompa-Loompas whoop up with joy. The recipe sounded swatchschollop (as revolting as the title promised): It\u2019s a mix of butter, milk, and yogurt. But the result is surprisingly comforting. It didn\u2019t make me tiddly, but it was \u201ctasting as wonderfully of crodscollop\u201d. I replaced the corn syrup in the recipe with golden syrup, and the skim milk with normal milk, and used a blender to mix it all up (the Oompa-Loompas would be scornful of the skim milk, I\u2019m sure).\n\nNext on my agenda is the Lickable Wallpapers recipe. In an <em>America&#8217;s Test Kitchen <\/em>podcast, Felicity Dahl talks about how children would come out of a screening of <em>Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, <\/em>begging their parents to buy some Lickable Wallpaper. Whenever my nephew watches the movie, I know I can be ready with some.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Roald Dahl\u2019s birthday is a reminder that treats were an essential part of the beloved children\u2019s author\u2019s life \u2013 \u201cnever too many, never too few, and always perfectly timed.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":464,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82],"tags":[716,717,718,719],"class_list":["post-463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-charlie-and-the-chocolate-factory","tag-roald-dahl","tag-roald-dahl-birthday","tag-willy-wonka"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Of Mosquitoes\u2019 Toes and Wampfish Roes<\/title>\n<meta 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