{"id":4601,"date":"2016-03-12T13:04:35","date_gmt":"2016-03-12T07:34:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4601"},"modified":"2016-03-12T13:04:35","modified_gmt":"2016-03-12T07:34:35","slug":"fashion-police-met-gala","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4601","title":{"rendered":"Who Made You the Fashion Police of the Met Gala?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Y<\/span>esterday was the 2019 Met Gala, held, as always, on the first <\/p>Monday<\/span><\/a> in May \u2013 a time when us plebs tend to be stuck at work, dressed in our weekday worst, sneaking onto Facebook to post \u201cIs it Friday yet?\u201d memes and finding the perfect cat videos that will see us through until lunchtime.<\/span>\n\nThe scheduling, then, is the first sign that the Met Gala is not for our mediocre, sweatpants-clad, carbohydrate-padded asses. This is <\/span>fashion\u2019s<\/span><\/a> big premiere, a glossy, star-studded event where basic behaviour like taking selfies to show off your outfit is anathema. Out here in the real world, it\u2019s a personal victory when we upgrade from chappals to proper shoes, but that\u2019s not how things work at the Met Gala.<\/span>\n\nAside from scrolling idly through well-dressed influencers on Instagram, or going to our neighbourhood darzi with a photo of Deepika\u2019s Sabyasachi wedding <\/span>lehenga<\/span><\/a> in hand, it\u2019s safe to assume that most of us don\u2019t know a thing about the fashion industry. We couldn\u2019t say when New York Fashion Week is, and the most daring sartorial decision we\u2019ve ever made is making peace with our paunches just so we can sit down while wearing a crop top.<\/span>\n\nMeanwhile, far above the mortals\u2019 realm, in the rarified environs of the Met Gala, leggy, barely-pubescent models glide around in heel-less \u201canti-gravity\u201d platforms, draped in strictly decorative wisps of fabric. They strut onto the red carpet like well-dressed giraffes, and miraculously avoid being slapped in the face by an errant umbrella from <\/span>Lady Gaga<\/span><\/a>\u2019s high-fashion strip show. Alongside them are gorgeous actors \u2014 including Jared Leto carrying his own beautiful, decapitated head as a clutch \u2014 genetically blessed star kids, fashion designers in homeless chic, and more bizarre costumes than the set of <\/span>Student of the Year 2<\/span><\/i>, each costing more than the EMI on your apartment.<\/span>\n

Is it any wonder that the proletariat is all agog at the prospect of the Met Gala? Suddenly, everyone becomes collectively possessed with the spirit of Anna Wintour, making snarky digs at haute couture without any provocation.<\/blockquote>\nIs it any wonder that the proletariat is all agog at the prospect of the Met Gala? Suddenly, everyone becomes collectively possessed with the spirit of Anna Wintour, making snarky digs at haute couture without any provocation. This morning, a colleague of mine, whose everyday uniform consists of a comic-book shirt (he conveniently rotates five of them so we always know the day of the week; Thursday is Thor\u2019s Day) and a pair of cargo shorts, remarked, not unfairly, that national jeeja Nick Jonas-Chopra looked like a <\/span>villainous<\/span><\/a> waiter from an \u201880s Bollywood movie. <\/span>\n\nThen, a friend, whose favourite joggers were purchased from Colaba Causeway in the early 2000s, saw fit to text me about <\/span>Deepika<\/span><\/a>\u2019s \u201ctotally blah\u201d pink princess gown. This led to a lively debate around <\/span>Piggy Chops<\/span><\/a>\u2019 creative take on the Red Queen from Tim Burton\u2019s <\/span>Alice in Wonderland<\/span><\/i>, complete with reference images of afro wigs and an article entitled \u201cHow to Make A Dress Using Aluminium Foil.\u201d<\/span>\n\nOf course, there are plenty of things about the fashion world that remain a mystery for us fairweather <\/span>fashionistas<\/span><\/a>. What lipstick matches best with always being dehydrated? Why are socks and sandals so bad, and do black jeans really need to be washed? Which Olsen sister is in <\/span>The Avengers<\/span><\/i>, and which one dresses in repurposed rice sacks?<\/span>\n\nWe\u2019re not meant to have all the answers. <\/span>\n\nWhen it comes down to the <\/span>Red Carpet<\/span><\/a>, we\u2019re forced to admit that our schlubby souls don\u2019t have what it takes to walk a straight line in <\/span>heels<\/span><\/a>, let alone pose like an angel sent from heaven while balancing a hat made of five other hats on our heads. But we\u2019re allowed to show up once or twice a year to give our expert opinions. For a few special nights, we can click vicariously through the pap shots for a look at how the other half \u2013 I mean less than one per cent \u2013 lives. And then we can return to the status quo, where our socks are mismatched and we\u2019ve forgotten who Prabal Gurung is, for a couple of weeks. How else will we muster up the energy to hate on Alia Bhatt and her <\/span>Chanel double purse pack<\/span><\/a> that costs six lakhs?<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aside from squealing over Baby Taimur\u2019s adventures in micro-fashion, most of us don\u2019t know the first thing about clothes. But on a few special nights of the year, like the Met Gala, even the most fashionably challenged among us become a leading authority on French couture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":208,"featured_media":4602,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3452],"tags":[6376,1281,4386,8165,6850,340],"class_list":["post-4601","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","tag-celebrities","tag-deepika-padukone","tag-fashion","tag-met-gala","tag-nick-jonas","tag-priyanka-chopra"],"yoast_head":"\nWho Made You the Fashion Police of the Met Gala?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Aside from squealing over Baby Taimur\u2019s adventures in micro-fashion, most of us don\u2019t know the first thing about clothes. 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