{"id":4546,"date":"2016-07-26T10:59:40","date_gmt":"2016-07-26T05:29:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4546"},"modified":"2016-07-26T10:59:40","modified_gmt":"2016-07-26T05:29:40","slug":"social-anxiety-interactions-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4546","title":{"rendered":"Maybe He\u2019s Born With It, Maybe it\u2019s Social Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

H<\/span><\/p>ow do you react when someone says \u201cHi\u201d to you? Do you go for a high-five or a wave? Is it appropriate to wiggle your eyebrows, or should you flash the peace symbol? \u00a0Should you play it cool and say \u2018Sup\u2019 or beat your fist against your chest like a <\/span>Gully Boy<\/span><\/a>. Or, if you\u2019re like me, should you have a mild-to-severe panic attack while thinking of all the ways you could have said \u201cHi\u201d but didn\u2019t, because you were too afraid of having a social interaction? <\/span>\n\nI\u2019ve gone from being \u201cthat shy boy\u201d in school to the \u201crecluse in the college\u201d to \u201cthe quiet intern\u201d at work. But it\u2019s not my introversion, it\u2019s simply fear. And I\u2019ve had this fear ever since my <\/span>mother<\/span><\/a> held my hand and walked me to the society garden to make friends. I was five years old at the time. \u201cGo on, make new friends! Go say hi!\u201d she urged. But instead of joining the other kids on the slide, I ran and hid behind her dress, shivering as if I\u2019d encountered the grizzly from <\/span>Revenant<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>\n\nAt school, it wasn\u2019t draconian teachers or ruthless bullies I feared most, it was classroom introductions. Thrust into the spotlight, with my only job being to utter the words, \u201cHello, my name is Nihal,\u201d my body would shift into a fight-or-flight state. Beads of sweat would form around my temples and my hands would start trembling. And I would try to force the words out, but just end up gulping haplessly for air as if I was out on <\/span>a morning walk in the <\/span>Delhi<\/span><\/a> smog<\/span>. It didn\u2019t help that my father had to move cities because of work and I had to repeat the ordeal every time I switched schools to a classroom full of new faces. <\/span>\n\nNot much has changed since. This dread of social interactions continues well into my <\/span>adult<\/span><\/a> life. So, as a coping mechanism I resort to doing what every person with social anxiety does best \u2013 avoid social contact as much as I can. <\/span>\n\nAt work, where I currently spend most of my waking hours, I watch intently as my colleagues walk in so that I can avoid eye contact and not indulge in the morning small talk. The rest of the day I spend with my headphones on. During lunch, when everyone gathers to eat food together, I stay seated at my desk and wait until everyone is done. Reviews with my boss and discussions with the HR have become the dreadful adult replicas of my <\/span>classroom<\/span><\/a> experiences. And during office meetings, I take a seat where I\u2019m least likely to be noticed and remain quiet through the ordeal, often coming across as the guy who lacks ideas. \u00a0<\/span>\n\n

Sometimes, just like writer Simon Wilson-Cortijo, I wish I could just escape to a simpler time where work did not involve brainstorming.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nAt a <\/span>workplace<\/span><\/a> which is buzzing with creative minds, I feel imprisoned by my condition like never before. By the time I gather the courage to speak up, my feeble \u201cI think\u2026\u201d is drowned by other enthusiastic voices. <\/span>\n\nSometimes, just like writer Simon Wilson-Cortijo, I wish I could just escape to a simpler time where work did not involve brainstorming. In a <\/span>Guardian<\/span><\/a> essay Wilson-Cortijo writers, \u201c<\/span>In the past I imagine it would have been quite easy for a socially anxious individual to make a life for themselves doing some form of manual labour that wouldn\u2019t require the cultivation of \u2018people skills\u2019. But in today\u2019s world, where selling one\u2019s attributes is of the utmost importance, such skills are an absolute necessity.<\/span>\u201d <\/span>\n\nI realised that I can\u2019t live in my bubble permanently after <\/span>my social anxiety ruined many job interviews, annoyed relatives, and ended friendships. After 22 years of permanently being perturbed, I took an online test to determine where I was on the Leibowitz Social Anxiety <\/span>Scale<\/span><\/a> before booking a session. Turns out, it was the highest score I got on any test \u2013 I bagged a strikingly high 90 out of 100. The scale suggests that a score which exceeds 95 is a clear indication of a person experiencing very severe social anxiety. <\/span>\n\nSo before I could inch any closer to the danger mark, I took my parents\u2019 advice and sought help. After three long months of <\/span>therapy<\/span><\/a>, I know that can\u2019t particularly change the way I am hardwired. I will never be that guy who walks into the office and wishes a cheerful \u201cGood morning\u201d to everyone present. But I will tell you that saying \u201cHi\u201d to people has become so much easier. <\/span>\n\nHi, my name is Nihal. And I have social anxiety. <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever since I was five years old, I\u2019ve struggled with even the simple act of saying \u201cHi\u201d to strangers. Unfortunately, today\u2019s world revolves around how social you can be. Which means my anxiety has cost me many job interviews, lapsed friendships, and annoyed relatives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":205,"featured_media":4547,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[779],"tags":[8075,8076,472,6720,8077,8078,4770,4729],"class_list":["post-4546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-classrooms","tag-interactions","tag-people","tag-social-anxiety","tag-socialising","tag-talking","tag-work","tag-workplace"],"yoast_head":"\nMaybe He\u2019s Born With It, Maybe it\u2019s Social Anxiety<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ever since I was five years old, I\u2019ve struggled with even the simple act of saying \u201cHi\u201d to strangers. Unfortunately, today\u2019s world revolves around how social you can be. 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Which means my anxiety has cost me many job interviews, lapsed friendships, and annoyed relatives.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4546\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-26T05:29:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1556096171.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nihal Bambulkar\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Maybe He\u2019s Born With It, Maybe it\u2019s Social Anxiety\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Ever since I was five years old, I\u2019ve struggled with even the simple act of saying \u201cHi\u201d to strangers. 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