{"id":4525,"date":"2016-05-20T18:59:49","date_gmt":"2016-05-20T13:29:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4525"},"modified":"2016-05-20T18:59:49","modified_gmt":"2016-05-20T13:29:49","slug":"kalank-review-ailia-bhatt-abhishek-varman-varun-dhawan-baahubali","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4525","title":{"rendered":"Kalank Review: A Forgettable Period Epic With Groan-Worthy Plot Twists"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Y<\/span>ou know a film has already given up on itself when its devious villain \u2013 an unhinged murderer who destroys the lives of the protagonists \u2013 is played by Kunal Kemmu. On a good day, Kemmu, a superbly limited actor, can contort his face to conjure up only one expression \u2013 the problem is Abhishek Varman\u2019s Kalank<\/span><\/i> feels like it was shot on all the bad days.<\/span>\n\nSet in 1944 in Husnabad, a town near Lahore, <\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> has all the makings of being the next <\/span>Thugs of Hindostan<\/span><\/i>. Like the Aamir Khan-starrer, Varman takes a star-studded cast of A-listers and then goes out of his way to ensure that they have zero chemistry with each other so that their presence can do nothing to elevate the film\u2019s proceedings. Its threadbare plot feels as believable as Vijay Mallya\u2019s innocence and its romantic conflict has the emotional intelligence of a robot and the shock value of a rejected saas bahu serial. Similar to <\/span>Thugs of Hindostan<\/span><\/i><\/a>, <\/span>Kalank\u2019s<\/span><\/i> understanding of history is more misinformed than the versions spewed by alt-historian Vivek Agnihotri. And even this period epic about interfaith star-crossed lovers in the time of Partition, needlessly runs at almost three hours, proving once again that editors are really an endangered species in Bollywood.<\/span>\n\nKalank<\/span><\/i> opens with Satya (Sonakshi Sinha), the daughter-in-law of an affluent Hindu family being diagnosed with cancer and told that she possibly has just a year left to live. She \u2013 essentially a Paakhi redux from <\/span>Lootera<\/span><\/i> \u2013 immediately does the most natural thing a terminally ill-patient can think of: Reach a random girl\u2019s house and set her up with her London-educated newspaper editor husband, Dev Chowdhury (Aditya Roy Kapur). The girl in question is the lower-class Roop (Alia Bhatt<\/a> in her most pointless role ever), a manic pixie kitegirl who agrees to marry Dev by burning her books. Dev\u2019s wardrobe of Fabindia kurtas and his round glasses make it amply clear that he is a liberal \u2013 naturally he doesn’t resist his dying wife linking his Shaadi.com profile with Roop. Giving Dev\u2019s indifference a tough competition is his widowed father Balram Chowdhury (Sanjay Dutt) whose contribution in his life and in the film is limited to stomping around perennially hunched as if he doesn\u2019t believe in the concept of necks.<\/span>\n\nThe rest of the film\u2019s \u201cplot\u201d is so puerile that it can be instantly guessed by a five-year-old: Stuck in a loveless marriage, Roop starts taking singing lessons from Bahar Begum (Madhuri Dixit), a courtesan who lives on the Hira mandi, the neighbourhood’s red-light district and spends most of the film either glaring or crying. In the process, Roop falls in love with her estranged son Zafar (Varun Dhawan) a lower-class Muslim blacksmith whose personality trait involves reminding everyone that he is an illegitimate child and fighting CGI-bulls in his free time.\u00a0<\/span>\n\n It\u2019s ironic that the suspense of the entire film hinges on the secret identity of Zafar\u2019s father, given that <\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> is so lazily crafted that it takes less than five minutes for anyone to put two and two together. By the time the big reveal happens in the film\u2019s bloated second half, even the writers lose interest in it. As a result,\u00a0<\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> discloses it so nonchalantly as if it’s discussing the humidity in Mumbai and not divulging the ruins of a decade-old affair that has broken families and given two grown men unwavering daddy issues.<\/span>\n\nI\u2019m the last person to take exception to Varman and Karan Johar’s fundamental right to consistently churn out shoddy, forgettable big-budget films (<\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i>\u00a0is pegged around Rs 80 crore). In fact, it\u2019s hard to fault <\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> for getting carried away with its inherent groan-worthiness when the recent successes of <\/span>Kesari <\/span><\/i>and <\/span>Total Dhamaal<\/span><\/i> prove that undermining the audience\u2019s intelligence has always been a totally acceptable genre of Hindi filmmaking. However, <\/span>Kalank <\/span><\/i>isn\u2019t merely a gloriously bad film \u2013 it\u2019s also a cautionary tale about uninspired and pretentious filmmaking that has the smugness to get away with peddling offensive tropes.<\/span>\n\nVarman, who debuted with <\/span>2 States<\/span><\/i>, is the latest writer-director to join the ranks of Hindi filmmakers who don\u2019t let their surface-level understanding of minorities impede them from doing injustice to the intricacies of a Hindu-Muslim<\/a> romance. In the film, Varman immediately establishes Zafar\u2019s religion by the most cliched identifiers: Dhawan, who enthusiastically overacts, wears more kajal in the film than most Maybelline models, offers namaz for a token scene, and is shown wearing a skull cap for less than five seconds. In Varman\u2019s interpretation, Muslims are either hot-headed villains or victims \u2013 there is no in-between. So, even in a tale of eternal love, it\u2019s the three Muslim protagonists who either kill or sacrifice their lives.<\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s why the film\u2019s depiction of Hindu-Muslim enmity and the riots that followed Partition is so reductive that it appears caricaturish (the most nuance Kalank<\/span><\/i> manages is repeating the word \u201caawam\u201d at least 15 times). This exploitation of a community feels even more jarring, given that the film could have been just as mediocre if it remained a straightforward poor girl-rich boy love story.\u00a0<\/span>Zafar\u2019s religion doesn’t influence the film’s main conflict and it isn’t even the reason that keeps Roop and him apart, so its mere addition feels like a cheap plot-device that exists only to manufacture praises of sensitivity.<\/span>\n\nPerhaps, the weakest link of <\/span>Kalank <\/span><\/i>is how Varman doesn\u2019t seem interested in explaining any plot twist in the film or justifying how one piece of information connects to the other. Instead, the protagonists in Kalank<\/em> just happen to magically appear at the right place at the exact time they need to be.\u00a0<\/span>Yet like a true Dharma Production, <\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> has all the time in the world to slip in a product placement for Lux, replicate <\/span>DDLJ\u2019s<\/span><\/i> train sequence, and make a reference to Johar\u2019s upcoming film,<\/span> Takht<\/span><\/i>. But when it comes to the important things, <\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> is ignorant: For instance, almost all of the protagonists, irrespective of their class divide and level of literacy, casually use a splattering of perfectly pronounced English words in their daily conversations, forgetting that they\u2019re in 1944. And their dialogues are less words and more Urdu spoken word poetry, randomly strewn with vapid phrases like \u201caankhon ki kashish\u201d and \u201cpalkon ka aitraz\u201d. <\/span>\n\nEssentially, Kalank <\/i>is so insistent\u00a0in packaging itself as a visually arresting period experience \u2013 the lavishness of the sets feel undone by the urgency to recreate the opulence of Baahubali<\/i>\u00a0\u2013 that it forgets the importance of having any substance. After three hours of brandishing an outdated outlook and failing at rehashing the oldest romantic trope in Bollywood then, the only promise <\/span>Kalank<\/span><\/i> ends up living up to, is its title.<\/span>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kalank, a period epic about star-crossed lovers in the time of Partition, has all the makings of being the next Thugs of Hindostan. Its threadbare plot feels as believable as Vijay Mallya\u2019s innocence and has the shock value of a rejected saas-bahu serial.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":103,"featured_media":4526,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3114],"tags":[8037,1096,8038,8039,1161],"class_list":["post-4525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bollywood","tag-aditya-roy-kapur","tag-alia-bhatt","tag-kalank","tag-kalank-review","tag-varun-dhawan"],"yoast_head":"\nKalank Review: A Forgettable Period Epic With Groan-Worthy Plot Twists<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kalank, a period epic about star-crossed lovers in the time of Partition, has all the makings of being the next Thugs of Hindostan. 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