{"id":4413,"date":"2016-07-15T22:02:52","date_gmt":"2016-07-15T16:32:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4413"},"modified":"2016-07-15T22:02:52","modified_gmt":"2016-07-15T16:32:52","slug":"high-maintenance-woman-self-love-body","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4413","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s Wrong with Being a \u201cHigh Maintenance\u201d Woman?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I\u2019<\/span><\/p><\/div>

ve often been cautioned by (some) <\/span>men<\/span><\/a> I\u2019ve dated; (many) men I\u2019ve not dated; (an abnormally large number of) men who I didn\u2019t even know existed until I was caught in the crosshairs of the projectile of their verbal incontinence on social media, and (a handful of) women with gimlet eyes, of being so \u201chigh maintenance\u201d that it might end up serving as a turn off for the delicate sensibilities of the men who might want to court me at some unspecified time in the future. <\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s true, too. For many years now, I have insisted on being unabashedly, self-contentedly vain. I won\u2019t even call my adamant immodesty a guilty pleasure because there is absolutely no guilt attached to the exercise in <\/span>self-love<\/span><\/a> that is grooming. <\/span>\n\nBut that comes at a rather significant cost, I\u2019ll admit. My annual budget for haircuts runs comfortably into five digits and my <\/span>mother<\/span><\/a> averts her eyes every time I rip the price tag off of my funny-sounding French shampoo, lest she catches sight of it and has an aneurysm. I own an ungodly amount of silver jewellery, bags, and indigo dresses; and clusters of lipsticks in shades that have, more than once, made my harried mother invoke her Gods in panic because \u201cMeri beti ke hoth neele kyun padh gaye hain!?\u201d (Why are my daughter\u2019s lips blue?). I have a pedicure guy, a manicure lady, and an eyebrow-upper lip didi scattered in different parts of the city, and I\u2019d rather spend several hundreds in Uber charges than go through dozens of unsatisfactory manicures, pedicures, and, gasp, threading experiments before finding someone more conveniently located. <\/span>\n\nSo yes, I suppose I am what society calls \u201chigh maintenance\u201d. Or as I like to call it, doing whatever the hell I damn well please with <\/span>my money<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>my<\/span><\/i> body, on <\/span>my<\/span><\/i> time. <\/span>\n\n

I grew up in a world that taught me, with increasing urgency as the years progressed, that bodies like mine are not meant to feel cherished or adored.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nI find this cultural fascination with policing how much time, effort, and money <\/span>women<\/span><\/a> should expend on grooming comical for many reasons. <\/span>\n\nFirst, and most obviously, because of how carelessly these virulent protesters of my vulgarity assume that it\u2019s a hapless, over-burdened man at the receiving end of my (perfectly arched) eyebrow-raising receipts. It\u2019s not. I promise you, no man was hurt in the making of this film. The gasping-for-breath-while-being-crushed-under-the-mountain-of-my-excesses bloke exists only in their imaginations. The idea of having a <\/span>man<\/span><\/a> pay for my indulgences is less appealing than a root canal. I\u2019d literally rather have my teeth pulled than spend any portion of someone else\u2019s money on self-beautification. Nine-tenths of the joy of vanity is when you\u2019re not answerable to anyone but yourself. <\/span>\n\nSecond, for the breathtaking audacity of people (mostly men) whose problem is not that you spend that much time, energy, and money on yourself, but that you <\/span>look<\/span><\/i> it. It\u2019s okay if you spend endless hours putting on expensive make-up that looks like it isn\u2019t even there \u2014 they\u2019ll write poems praising your \u201cnatural\u201d glow and minimalistic approach to face paint. But hell hath no fury like a man scorched by the sight of a woman who wields a make-up wand like she means business. No offence to the women (and men) who prefer their kajals imperceptible and their lipsticks pale, but I\u2019m never going to be one of them. When I line my eyes, it\u2019s meant to be seen. And if I\u2019m making the time to create the work of art that is the perfect bow-shaped lip, you can bet good money it\u2019s going to be ruby. I have no interest in walking around the world looking like the human equivalent of the bland Garamond font \u2014 I\u2019m more the Ransom Note <\/span>girl<\/span><\/a> of fonts. I was not designed to be fetching or wholesome. There is something deeply gratifying about puncturing the male privilege to define when they will ridicule, rave, or rant about a woman and her looks, while condemning her for being vain, self-absorbed and \u201chigh-maintenance\u201d if she has the temerity to be impressed by her handiwork.<\/span>\n\nIn a Guardian essay titled \u201cWho are you calling a diva? It\u2019s just another way of damning women\u201d columnist <\/span>Barbara Ellen writes<\/span><\/a>, \u201cToo often, the diva tag comes across as just another way of deriding and undermining successful, powerful women… A case of if you can\u2019t get away with labelling them a slut, brand them a diva. So all power to the female diva \u2013 as long as people remember that often all it means is that a woman is powerful enough to make demands and determined enough to get them met.\u201d<\/span>\n\n \u00a0<\/span>When I dig into the vaults, underlying my refusal to be shamed about how I choose to present myself to the world is this \u2014 it\u2019s been a long, difficult journey to reach a point where, when I look into the mirror, I see an original work of art, not an unhappy collection of imperfections. I grew up in a world that taught me, with increasing urgency as the years progressed, that<\/span> bodie<\/span>s<\/span><\/a> like mine are not meant to feel cherished or adored. It\u2019s taken me a while to figure out that I love myself, and that I get to choose how I wield my femininity. If it manages to work men and their panties into a sumptuously miserable twist, that\u2019s just a side bonus I\u2019d highly recommend. <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My annual budget for haircuts runs comfortably into five digits. I own an ungodly amount of silver jewellery, bags, and indigo dresses. I suppose I am what society calls \u201chigh maintenance\u201d. But I promise you, no man was hurt in the making of this film.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":306,"featured_media":4414,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[170],"tags":[7835,4477,7836,5610,1352,7837,2402,4783,2519,7838,2323,735],"class_list":["post-4413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender","tag-bags","tag-bodies","tag-dresses","tag-jewellery","tag-makeup","tag-manicures","tag-men","tag-pedicures","tag-self-love","tag-self-care","tag-woman","tag-women"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat\u2019s Wrong with Being a \u201cHigh Maintenance\u201d Woman?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My annual budget for haircuts runs comfortably into five digits. I own an ungodly amount of silver jewellery, bags, and indigo dresses. I suppose I am what society calls \u201chigh maintenance\u201d. 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