{"id":4315,"date":"2016-04-30T01:26:34","date_gmt":"2016-04-29T19:56:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4315"},"modified":"2016-04-30T01:26:34","modified_gmt":"2016-04-29T19:56:34","slug":"why-every-woman-needs-a-house-of-her-own","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4315","title":{"rendered":"Home Run: Why Every Woman Needs A House of Her Own"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span>oday we celebrate <\/p>Women\u2019s Day<\/span><\/a>, or as they call it in <\/span>advertising<\/span><\/a>, The Day We Tried to Break the Internet with the Most Empowering Discounts of Them All. <\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s the day when everything \u2014 from toilet cleaners to non-stick tavas \u2014 are potential tools to lead us to the conclusion that we ladies are positively brimming with awesomeness. And that the <\/span>only <\/span><\/i>thing missing from our emancipated bliss is the possession of said toilet cleaner or non-stick tawa or mosquito repellent or anti-ageing cream or\u2026 you get the drift. But the good news: In celebration of our lady bits, all of the above-mentioned products were accompanied by limited period, attractive discounts that would make us shudder and convulse in <\/span>orgasmic<\/span><\/a> (the real, not the kind we fake) glee. Nothing spells freedom like slashed prices and 40 per cent discounts on skin whitening\/brightening\/tightening creams.<\/span>\n\nBut this year, between bookmarking the most liberating online discounts and scouting local bars for smuttily named womanly coloured cocktails that are ek pe ek free, I decided to give myself an actual, authentic Women\u2019s Day gift \u2014 a room of my own. Or, more realistically, the tiniest parcel of land that can justify the existence of four walls and a roof that is (a little) more than a corrugated iron sheet in an area that can best be described as Mumbai\u2019s smelly armpit, given the astronomical property prices in the city.<\/span>\n\nThe decision to become a <\/span>homeowner<\/span><\/a> is not a whim or a sudden flight of fantasy \u2014 it\u2019s a yearning I\u2019ve quietly carried within me from the time I was a little girl; its roots tightening painfully around my heart every time I was hectored into accepting that a girl\u2019s lot in life is to go from her father\u2019s home to her husband\u2019s. We may call it maika or mummy ka ghar to lull our brains into an emotional slumber, but when it comes to legal ownership of property, it is almost always the papas, bhaiyas, and husbands who sign on the dotted line. It\u2019s a <\/span>commitment<\/span><\/a> that scares me witless, and the thought of spending every last rupee I\u2019ve saved since the first snotty group of kids I tutored at 16 makes me want to lie down and never wake up again.<\/span>\n

Why can\u2019t I be a good girl and stop creating trouble?<\/blockquote>\nMy <\/span>parents<\/span><\/a>, understandably, can\u2019t quite wrap their heads around their daughter\u2019s sudden need to own a house. They raised a girl who was never meant to be encumbered with existential worries like home loans, <\/span>EMIs<\/span><\/a>, and horror of horrors, depreciating property values. I wasn\u2019t just supposed to go from my maika to my sasural, I was supposed to arrive there in a chauffeur-driven luxury car. <\/span>\n\nThen why can\u2019t I, like most of the women in my family before me have, simply go on a <\/span>vacation<\/span><\/a> when the urge to do something \u201cdifferent\u201d starts becoming too hard to suppress? Why can\u2019t I be a good girl and stop creating trouble?<\/span>\n\nBecause, I\u2019ve learned that the price of being a \u201cgood girl\u201d is too high, and that without a home that has your name on it, true <\/span>freedom<\/span><\/a> is impossible \u2014 especially for women. <\/span>\n\nFor as long as I can remember, I\u2019ve lived a dual life: the person I am when I\u2019m living under my father\u2019s roof and the one I am when I\u2019m under my own. This person does not want to have to spend three days in a month lurking outside the <\/span>kitchen<\/span><\/a> because it is \u201cthat\u201d time of the month. This person does not want to spend considerable energy in ensuring that the mandir is not \u201cviolated\u201d by her presence during said time of the month because apparently god doesn\u2019t already have enough to do, and would like the added responsibility of tracking my <\/span>periods<\/span><\/a>. This person wants to be able to walk around in what she\u2019s assured is her home in <\/span>shorts<\/span><\/a> with the same careless abandon that her <\/span>brother<\/span><\/a> \u2014 with legs that could put Anil Kapoor\u2019s chest to shame \u2014 does. And this person doesn\u2019t want to feel like inviting a male friend to the house is a decision that requires multiple rounds of approvals and interrogations. <\/span>\n
A woman is truly free only when she has a room of her own.<\/blockquote>\nI want a home that I can\u2019t be removed from no matter what (or who) I do. Not by <\/span>misogynist<\/span><\/a> landlords who sniff around your trash to see if there are any alcohol bottles buried under the empty packets of Lay\u2019s and bhujia, and whose wives are glued to the windows to ensure no penis-bearer enters or exits the house after sundown, or better still, ever. And not by housing societies that hold secret meetings to randomly decide they don\u2019t want \u201cbachelors\u201d or pet-owners to pollute their hallowed grounds. <\/span>\n\nI want a home I can return to without feeling the need to provide explanations or entertain unsolicited advice if I ever have the misfortune of being in a bad <\/span>marriage<\/span><\/a> and need to leave. A place I can go to and rightfully shut the door on the questions of the world. <\/span>\n\nBy the time you\u2019re in your 30s, enough of the women in your life have been married for you to know that \u201cwhere will we go\u201d is one of the biggest fears that keeps women trapped in shitty, sometimes even <\/span>abusive marriage<\/span><\/a>. A close friend recently admitted that the house she is paying half the EMI for is registered in her father-in-law\u2019s name, and she stays up nights worrying that if ever things go south between her husband and her, she won\u2019t have any claim on it. Everyone has a great husband and in-laws until some day they don\u2019t, and controlling all the property is the most effective way of keeping a woman under the thumb of patriarchy. <\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s been 90 years since Virginia Woolf wrote her iconic book<\/span> A Room Of One\u2019s Own<\/span><\/i>. And even though her writing concerned itself only with the fate of a certain kind of women \u2014 those who wished to create great literature and art but were unable to do it because they didn\u2019t have a peaceful space in which to do it in \u2014 the underlying principle holds true for all <\/span>women<\/span><\/a>, everywhere. A woman is truly free only when she has a room of her own. \u00a0<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few days ago, I invested in a house of my own. I want a home where I don\u2019t have to spend three days in a month lurking outside the kitchen because it\u2019s \u201cthat time of the month\u201d. I want a house where I can\u2019t be removed from no matter what (or who) I do. Not by misogynist landlords or housing societies that randomly decide they don\u2019t want \u201cbachelors\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":306,"featured_media":4316,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[170],"tags":[7748,5333,6987,7749,4332,2323],"class_list":["post-4315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender","tag-bachelors","tag-house","tag-investment","tag-landlords","tag-misogynist","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nHome Run: Why Every Woman Needs A House of Her Own<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A few days ago, I invested in a house of my own. I want a home where I don\u2019t have to spend three days in a month lurking outside the kitchen because it\u2019s \u201cthat time of the month\u201d. I want a house where I can\u2019t be removed from no matter what (or who) I do. Not by misogynist landlords or housing societies that randomly decide they don\u2019t want \u201cbachelors\u201d.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4315\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Home Run: Why Every Woman Needs A House of Her Own\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A few days ago, I invested in a house of my own. I want a home where I don\u2019t have to spend three days in a month lurking outside the kitchen because it\u2019s \u201cthat time of the month\u201d. I want a house where I can\u2019t be removed from no matter what (or who) I do. 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