{"id":4220,"date":"2016-07-17T00:42:08","date_gmt":"2016-07-16T19:12:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220"},"modified":"2016-07-17T00:42:08","modified_gmt":"2016-07-16T19:12:08","slug":"sushil-sanskari-non-toxic-bollywood-hero","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4220","title":{"rendered":"Looking for a Sushil, Sanskari, Non-Toxic Bollywood Hero"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\u00a0\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">B<\/span>ack in 2001, 12-year-old me had decided that I was going to grow up to be Madhav Shastri (R Madhavan) from <\/p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. So two years later, when I fell in love for the first time, I decided it was time to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/love-and-sex\/brief-romance-connections-romance\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">romance<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> like Madhav. Even though I did everything like it unfolded in the film, I messed up. Bound to happen, I agree. <\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The most glaring problem with letting Bollywood influence our romantic aspirations is the predominant narrative of male leads romanticising a woman\u2019s lack of agency. Interpreting a girl\u2019s \u201cno\u201d as a \u201cyes\u201d isn\u2019t something that is purported only in films, but also by an entire generation. In <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">for instance<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Rina Malhotra (Dia Mirza), the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/gender\/why-its-so-difficult-to-write-disagreeable-women-characters\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">female lead<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> suddenly gets burdened by the presence of two men in her life as her agency goes for a toss: When Madhav, the guy she loves, turns out to be an impostor, she is obliged to suppress her feelings and marry Rajeev Samra (Saif Ali Khan).<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Coincidentally, that same year saw <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hain<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, a film that served as Tusshar Kapoor\u2019s debut and tried tweaking the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/bollywood\/bollywood-film-pataakha\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bollywood trope<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of romance by presenting a male lead who understood that a girl can have agency and respected it. In the film, Karan (Tusshar Kapoor) and Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) become friends and while Karan falls for her, he also realises that Pooja\u2019s dream is to join Harvard. <\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unlike the archetypal romantic hero, Karan doesn\u2019t guilt trip her into loving him and instead helps her to realise that dream. Even when Pooja refuses to go to Harvard and chooses to be with him, he eggs her on to pursue it, promising to wait for her. Just by doing that, Karan creates an emotional safe space for the girl he loves, instantly becoming an anomaly in the class of Bollywood romantic heroes. It\u2019s also refreshing to see a romantic hero, not following the arbitrary romantic power play internalised by the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/social-commentary\/bro-code-toxic-masculinity-woke-men\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">bro code<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u2013 Karan swears by the advice of his sister. In that way, the film never hesitates to depict things that stray from the conventional narrative.<\/span>\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\">Interpreting a girl\u2019s \u201cno\u201d as a \u201cyes\u201d isn\u2019t something that is purported only in films, but also by an entire generation.<\/blockquote>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Think about it. In Hindi films, romantic male leads are at two opposite ends of the spectrum: Either they explicitly exhibit <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/love-and-sex\/toxic-men-relationships-dating-twilight-sex-and-the-city-edward-cullen-carrie-mr-big-pride-and-prejudice\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">toxic masculinity<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, like Shah Rukh Khan in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Darr<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (1993) who goes to any extent to own his Kiran (Juhi Chawla), or justify their excessive obsession under the guise of true love, like Ayan Sanger (Ranbir Kapoor) falling for Alizeh (Anushka Sharma) in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ae Dil Hai Mushkil<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2016). Our films have rarely succeeded in finding a balance between these two ends. But Amitabh Bachchan\u2019s Sikandar in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Muqaddar Ka Sikandar <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(1978) is probably an exception. <\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the film, when Sikandar realises that his Memsaab (Rakhee) does not love him, he is grief-stricken. But, refreshingly, it\u2019s temporary. Instead of obsessing over his one-sided love, Sikandar sacrifices it and by extension, becomes a male lead who recognises the heroine\u2019s agency. It\u2019s worth noting that the <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.academia.edu\/10614647\/The_Angry_Young_Man_of_Zanjeer_From_Osborne_to_Bachchan\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Angry Young Man<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> image of Bachchan was often devoid of the obvious strains of toxic masculinity, even though it comprised a saviour complex. But in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Muqaddar Ka Sikandar<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, there is a subtle acknowledgement of a heroine getting to have say in a romance, which was definitely radical for its time. <\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two other romantic leads who tried to break out of the shackles of toxic masculinity were Rohit Patel (Saif Ali Khan) from <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Kal Ho Naa Ho<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2004) and Aditya Kashyap (Shahid Kapoor) from <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jab We Met<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2007). Both these characters stand out because they were never depicted as the \u201cshoulder\u201d for a girl to rely on, or exerted inexplicable power over their female counterparts. Instead, they became <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/pov\/rich-friends-broke-money-friendships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">friends<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with the heroines, before romance blossomed between them. Although, both these films do get tempted to trade in the ultimate clich\u00e9 that good boys often don\u2019t have it easy.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yet, it\u2019s impossible to ignore that these few films that attempted to change how the narrative of a Bollywood romance unfolds are mainly urban stories. Understandably, the romantic equations are rather different in small towns and villages where, scarily, the influence of films on real life are far greater. It\u2019s best portrayed in Aanand L Rai&#8217;s <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Raanjhanaa<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2013), where we see how fraught the relationship between Kundan (Dhanush) and Zoya (<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/bollywood\/ek-ladki-ko-dekha-toh-aisa-laga-review-sonam-kapoor-lesbian-love-story-sec-377\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sonam Kapoor<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">) is. <\/span>\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\">Hindi cinema then, might not completely disregard the need for a healthy romantic male lead.<\/blockquote>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I suppose, the most pressing obstacle for Bollywood in envisioning a non-toxic romantic lead lies in how possessiveness continues to be branded as a romanticised marker of masculinity. In <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dhadkan<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2000), you can measure it through Dev\u2019s (Sunil Shetty) perennially viral dialogue that goes, \u201cAnjali main tumhe bhool jaaoon, yeh ho nahi sakta. Aur tum mujhe bhool jao, yeh mai hone nahi doonga.\u201d Even after knowing that his Anjali (Shilpa Shetty) is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/pov\/arranged-marriage-indian-brides-grooms-parents-culture\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">married<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and has moved on, Dev is reluctant to let her go. Similarly in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anjaam<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (1994), Vijay Agnihotri (Shah Rukh Khan) destroys Shivani Chopra\u2019s (Madhuri Dixit) life in a failed bid to woo her. <\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/love-and-sex\/polyamory-monogamy-true-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">possessiveness<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> comes ownership, but Bollywood has also tried to dispel this trope in a handful films. Take <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2012) for instance, where Rahul (Imran Khan) understands that Riana (Kareena Kapoor) doesn\u2019t love him and wants to stay friends. The message is thus clear: letting go isn\u2019t necessarily a sign of weakness.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hindi cinema then, might not completely disregard the need for a healthy romantic male lead. Toxic male leads are still seen as rule breakers; as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/sports\/rashid-khan-afghanistan-india-cricket-underdog\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">underdogs<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> who can win against the system, comfortably evoking sympathy. It\u2019s why <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sonu Ki Titu Ki Sweety<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is one of the biggest hits of 2018 and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/bollywood\/october-movie-review-varun-dhawan-shoojit-sircar\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">October<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is merely a niche film. But now it\u2019s up to Bollywood guarantee that we see more Dans than Sonus and Titus.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hindi cinema hasn\u2019t completely disregarded the need for healthy male leads. Toxic protagonists are still seen as rule breakers \u2013 as underdogs who can win against the system and evoke sympathy. But a handful of films, like Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai, October, and even Muqaddar Ka Sikandar have tried to change that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":300,"featured_media":4221,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3114],"tags":[1531,7609,2590,7610,6345,3611,1158,1466,1207,152,1935,3451,1161],"class_list":["post-4220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bollywood","tag-anushka-sharma","tag-bollywood-trope","tag-bro-code","tag-male-lead","tag-obsession","tag-r-madhavan","tag-ranbir-kapoor","tag-romance","tag-saif-ali-khan","tag-shah-rukh-khan","tag-toxic-masculinity","tag-true-love","tag-varun-dhawan"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Looking for a Sushil, Sanskari, Non-Toxic Bollywood Hero<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hindi cinema hasn\u2019t completely disregarded the need for healthy male leads. Toxic protagonists are still seen as rule breakers \u2013 as underdogs who can win against the system and evoke sympathy. But a handful of films, like Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai, October, and even Muqaddar Ka Sikandar have tried to change that.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Looking for a Sushil, Sanskari, Non-Toxic Bollywood Hero\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hindi cinema hasn\u2019t completely disregarded the need for healthy male leads. Toxic protagonists are still seen as rule breakers \u2013 as underdogs who can win against the system and evoke sympathy. 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But a handful of films, like Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai, October, and even Muqaddar Ka Sikandar have tried to change that.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Sayantan Mondal","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220"},"author":{"name":"Sayantan Mondal","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/d02bb18b01515f2557e5627b38dc3821"},"headline":"Looking for a Sushil, Sanskari, Non-Toxic Bollywood Hero","datePublished":"2016-07-16T19:12:08+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220"},"wordCount":1011,"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1550646869.jpg","keywords":["Anushka Sharma","Bollywood trope","bro code","male lead","Obsession","R Madhavan","Ranbir Kapoor","romance","saif ali khan","Shah Rukh Khan","Toxic Masculinity","true love","Varun Dhawan"],"articleSection":["Bollywood"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220","name":"Looking for a Sushil, Sanskari, Non-Toxic Bollywood Hero","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1550646869.jpg","datePublished":"2016-07-16T19:12:08+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/d02bb18b01515f2557e5627b38dc3821"},"description":"Hindi cinema hasn\u2019t completely disregarded the need for healthy male leads. Toxic protagonists are still seen as rule breakers \u2013 as underdogs who can win against the system and evoke sympathy. But a handful of films, like Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai, October, and even Muqaddar Ka Sikandar have tried to change that.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1550646869.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1550646869.jpg","width":1520,"height":850},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4220#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Looking for a Sushil, Sanskari, Non-Toxic Bollywood Hero"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/d02bb18b01515f2557e5627b38dc3821","name":"Sayantan Mondal","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5e810fe24580c72ac5736e627ac2d10ecc638bea5a40143f3d0b4e7664c094f7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5e810fe24580c72ac5736e627ac2d10ecc638bea5a40143f3d0b4e7664c094f7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5e810fe24580c72ac5736e627ac2d10ecc638bea5a40143f3d0b4e7664c094f7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Sayantan Mondal"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=300"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1550646869.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/300"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4220"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4220\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}