{"id":4088,"date":"2016-07-17T20:42:25","date_gmt":"2016-07-17T15:12:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4088"},"modified":"2016-07-17T20:42:25","modified_gmt":"2016-07-17T15:12:25","slug":"indian-parents-backseat-driving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4088","title":{"rendered":"Parents in Cars Getting Cocky: When Will Indian Parents Stop Backseat Driving?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cI<\/span><\/p><\/div>

f you learn to <\/span>drive<\/span><\/a> in Mumbai then you\u2019ll be prepared to drive anywhere in the world,\u201d said my mum, as she left me with Mukesh, the driving instructor. <\/span>\n\nThis might have seemed like gentle encouragement at the time, but I didn\u2019t realise that this was actually a threat. It was my 18th birthday, and I wanted to celebrate my newly acquired adulthood by learning to drive. I was enrolled into a driving school and left in the dubious hands of the worst driving instructor in the city \u2014 maybe the whole world. This Mukesh might have borne some resemblance to the Mukesh who runs this country, but he had zero control over anything, including the car and the way he taught me. Thanks to Mukesh, the first <\/span>car<\/span><\/a> I drove was a godawful rust bucket Maruti 800 with no side-view mirrors, seat belts, or functioning brakes. He charged 250 bucks an hour so you could listen to him whine about how miserably single he was at 40 \u2014 and sometimes, between his ramblings, you\u2019d even learn to drive.<\/span>\n\nAlas, it was him and me every morning from eight to nine for the next month, bickering like an old married couple driving around in his shitmobile. It was only after I received my driver\u2019s licence that I realised this ordeal was the price of freedom. <\/span>\n\nThere I was, dreaming of driving along Marine Drive wearing sunglasses, the sea breeze ruffling my hair, when my mum suggested that we visit my grandparents. \u201cWho needs Uber when our son can drive!\u201d she exclaimed, as my father exited the toilet, and the sound of my hopes and dreams being flushed down the crapper echoed through the living room. I spent the next three hours sitting in bumper-to-bumper <\/span>traffic<\/span><\/a> on the Western Express Highway, listening to my parents play antakshari in the backseat.<\/span>\n\nI have come to the conclusion that driving with parents is the absolute worst thing that can happen to children. It is worse than report card day rolled into <\/span>PTA<\/span><\/a> meeting day blended with a spot of prize distribution day. <\/span>\n\n

And the unkindest cut of all? They never, ever let me have the aux cable.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nEver since antakshari day, my parents have turned me into the family\u2019s unpaid driver. How am I supposed to pay for <\/span>gas<\/span><\/a> if I have no money? They don\u2019t care, they just want to reach their \u201cdestinations\u201d in time. <\/span>\n\nWhat kind of person makes their child drive through the narrowest lanes in the city, doesn\u2019t pay for gas, and then complains about their driving? My parents, that\u2019s who. Usually they complain about me driving too fast. Then, when I slow down, they tell me to speed up. If I dare retort with, \u201cFine, then you drive,\u201d they threaten to give me a bad rating. And the unkindest cut of all? They never, ever let me have the <\/span>aux<\/span><\/a> cable. <\/span>\n\nMy mother is forever in panic mode when she is riding shotgun. She is terrible at giving directions, so when she says right it usually means left. And this she realises only when I\u2019ve almost made the turn. When I steer the wheel in the correct direction, she begins to tug at my had and screams, \u201cAccident! Accident!\u201d right into my ear. If truth be told, it really makes me want to ram into other vehicles but I resist. <\/span>\n\nMy <\/span>father<\/span><\/a> is relatively calm, but an expert backseat driver. He is persistently giving me instructions \u2013 when to hit the accelerator, when to slow down, when to stick to the left lane. Heck, he\u2019ll even tell me there\u2019s a red signal ahead and I need to stop. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nBut wait, it doesn\u2019t end here. My parents believe they\u2019re far more resourceful than the rear-view and side-view mirrors of my car? In their infinite wisdom, my parents think it is absolutely necessary to announce every vehicle that crosses my path. \u201cThe <\/span>BEST<\/span><\/a> driver is honking, make way.\u201d \u201cThe man in the car behind is old, let him pass.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t go too close to the garbage truck.\u201d You get the drift. <\/span>\n\nGoogle Maps has only added to my misery. To use the guide or not is an argument that breaks out every time we sit inside the car. <\/span>Dad<\/span><\/a> is a believer in technology and for some reason my mom thinks Google Maps is a conspiracy. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nWe usually spend more time arguing about which route to take, and whether the AC temperature should be lowered or not than we do getting to our destination. <\/span>\n\nThat\u2019s how I spend most of my weekends, driving my parents to weddings of relatives I have never met, ferrying them to restaurants, malls, and of late temples. Probably, the next time, I\u2019ll step inside the mandir and say a small <\/span>prayer<\/span><\/a>: Make mum and dad better co-passengers. <\/span>\n\nCould things get any worse? Certainly. Is there a chance for improvement? Probably not. But, I\u2019ve accepted my fate. Just last week, we had a family meeting to discuss if my services should include our extended <\/span>family<\/span><\/a>. This time, I put up a spirited fight. That\u2019s why tomorrow, I\u2019m driving my moushi to Lokhandwala so she can play cards with her kitty friends. <\/span>\n\nSo, how does it feel to be a family <\/span>Uber<\/span><\/a> driver? The hours are long, the work conditions subpar, and the pay is non-existent. But hey, at least I\u2019m not forced to drive a rust bucket Maruti 800, amirite? <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who makes their child ferry them to the farthest places in the city, doesn\u2019t pay for gas, and then complains about his driving? Every Indian parent sitting on the backseat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":205,"featured_media":4089,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[584,7463,80,1726,5893,4229,7464],"class_list":["post-4088","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family","tag-cars","tag-driving","tag-mumbai","tag-parents","tag-streets","tag-traffic","tag-western-express-highway"],"yoast_head":"\nParents in Cars Getting Cocky: When Will Indian Parents Stop Backseat Driving?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Who makes their child ferry them to the farthest places in the city, doesn\u2019t pay for gas, and then complains about his driving? 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