{"id":4051,"date":"2016-06-01T01:29:24","date_gmt":"2016-05-31T19:59:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4051"},"modified":"2016-06-01T01:29:24","modified_gmt":"2016-05-31T19:59:24","slug":"view-40-metoo-gillette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4051","title":{"rendered":"The View at 40 | Why We\u2019re Silent About Rajkumar Hirani & Outraged Over Gillette\u2019s Advertising"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A<\/span><\/p><\/div>

s the elections get close, I find myself getting more and more nervous at family get togethers. You know that after all the rabdi is eaten and we\u2019re done ribbing the youngest teenager in the family about his new girlfriend, the discussion will turn to one inevitable mitron \u2013 <\/span>Modiji.<\/span><\/a> What once would have looked like a perfectly happy family will resemble of pack of wolves- split down to the centre with bared teeth . Rabdi will be a distant memory. <\/span>\n\nAnd so it happened last night. By the end of a splendid dinner of Kashmiri kofte, the room was divided and engulfed in a cold, stiff, spectral silence that resembled the LoC. Yet surprisingly, this time it wasn\u2019t about Modi. It was <\/span>Rajkumar Hirani<\/span><\/a>, the brand new name that <\/span>#MeToo<\/span><\/a> gifted us last week. The younger kids \u2013 all 25 and below \u2013 had thrown their hats in the corner of \u201cThat sucks. How many of these stories are out there?\u201d \u00a0The ones above 60 were equally firm in their corner which went \u201cThat sucks. How many men will these women take down with them?\u201d The man left in the middle was my uncle \u2013 with one leg in each world \u2013 hovering between old and young, right and wrong, \u00a0light and the dark. <\/span>\n\nNow, my uncle is a cool guy. Imagine a 40-something man who pairs \u00a0pink turbans with Levi\u2019s jeans and initiates young cousins into adulthood with a \u00a0solemn rite of passage that involves a little too many J\u00e4gerbombs. He\u2019s that genial, fun-loving adult representative from our childhood, who preferred hanging with the kids in the games room than with the <\/span>adults<\/span><\/a> in the living room. The one who invented wonderful susu-potty games and saved your ass after you\u2019d drunk away all the Pepsi at your mom\u2019s <\/span>kitty party<\/span><\/a>. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nThis uncle then, is the guy who is expected to \u201cget it\u201d, except he doesn\u2019t. \u00a0He nods toward the elderly and utters, \u201cI agree\u201d. And just like that, the lines are drawn. The uncle who was once on your side of the table now sits with \u201cthem\u201d. <\/span>\n\nThe thing with <\/span>Indian families<\/span><\/a> is that you\u2019re not really sure when these \u201cus\u201d and \u201cthem\u201d lines got drawn. We\u2019ve all realised that the worldviews our families live with are in most instances, out of reach for us. We\u2019ve quietly accepted that our parents may be <\/span>bigots<\/span><\/a>, homophobes, <\/span>bhakts<\/span><\/a>, or worse, a potent cocktail of all three. But instead of marching out of family WhatsApp groups, we politely ignore the forwards that make us cringe. Like, how we just smile when our mothers say \u201cBahut ho gaya tum logo ka yeh <\/span>feminism<\/span><\/a>\u201d or when your friend\u2019s father claims, \u201c<\/span>Gauri Lankesh<\/span><\/a> smoke karti thi.\u201d \u00a0We file them under lost causes.<\/span>\n\n

Male brands will become aware of their responsibility and think a hundred times before they tell you to use a deo to get laid.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nIn fact, our whole freshly woke generation has even forgiven their <\/span>parents<\/span><\/a> for it. They don\u2019t know better; they were, after all, raised in a different time and world. \u00a0It is only in this new world where they are beginning to understand that it\u2019s quite problematic to call the neighbour\u2019s daughter <\/span>\u201cmoti\u201d<\/span><\/a> or yell \u201cbhangi\u201d to egg someone on to take a bath. They don\u2019t get it. The world changed and nobody told them. Hell, nobody told us. <\/span>\n\nJust yesterday, when I asked my son, \u201cWho\u2019s that gora kid in your class?\u201d, he looked at me incredulously and yelled, \u201cMom, that\u2019s <\/span>racist<\/span><\/a>!\u201d That took a moment to sink in but I realised, fuck, he\u2019s right. <\/span>Gora<\/span><\/a> is just as bad as kaali. We\u2019re learning. We\u2019re slowly understanding where the lines are; what\u2019s okay and what\u2019s not. <\/span>\n\nI suppose, as our own understanding deepens it will get reflected in the world we create and the myths we perpetuate. Movies, music, advertising, and every piece of content we create in a post #MeToo world will show us how we\u2019ve absorbed this new reality. The songs, ads, and films commissioned in 2019, will hopefully begin to reflect the new world view and will become part of the fabric of the world that our <\/span>children<\/span><\/a> inherit. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nI believe the much-reviled Gillette ad was trying to say just this \u2013 \u201cLets at least ensure the next generation knows better.\u201d People who interpreted their messaging as, \u201cOh, so you think all of men in this generation suck,\u201d are catching the wrong end of the stick. The ad isn\u2019t about calling names; instead it\u2019s about creating new role models for masculinity for a future generation. It\u2019s about men helping other men shape this new definition of masculinity instead of leaving that job to women. Because #MeToo is about women but oh God Almighty! it\u2019s equally about men. And really why shouldn\u2019t advertising that is targeted at men take responsibility for what it says about men? It\u2019s only when the personal becomes political, does the world change. <\/span>\n\nWhen the <\/span>Raju Hirani<\/span><\/a> story died a quiet death, my friend, a former senior editor, sneered, \u201cSo your #MeToo didn\u2019t really change the world or bring down anyone, didn\u2019t it?\u201d I didn\u2019t quite know how to answer her then, but now I think do. Expecting #MeToo to bring out the big names is just as silly as thinking that feminism is about hating men. Of course, names will continue to drop now that we\u2019ve found an expression for something that\u2019s been happening quietly for years, but that\u2019s not the point. The point is not even that each new name will create less outrage. We are no longer in a state of outrage. We\u2019re done with the ranting, we\u2019re looking for solutions, and we\u2019re looking at our men. <\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s a tough time to be a man today. The changing world will ask of them what they stand for whether it\u2019s as <\/span>fathers<\/span><\/a> and brothers or runners and achievers. \u00a0Male brands will become aware of their responsibility and think a hundred times before they tell you to use a deo to get laid. The guy in your office who hears his friend talk about \u201cbanging the new girl\u201d will think about whether it\u2019s time to renege on the <\/span>bro code<\/span><\/a>. The perfectly sweet colleague will wonder if persisting in asking you out on a date is really a good idea. And this is what #MeToo has done \u2013 afford us this pause while we reassess our world view. That pause is everything. <\/span>\n\nMy uncle paused too as I explained this and pled with him to come over from the dark side. He heard me out even against the jeers from the 60+ group who\u2019d stooped to cheap sledging at this point. Yet, eventually he declined to switch sides, but not before throwing me an apologetic look that pleaded with me to understand. More than anything, it will take time before we have the courage to stand up with our brand new convictions in a room full of people, who think otherwise. <\/span>\n\nMy <\/span>uncle<\/span><\/a> is learning. \u00a0Gillette is learning. Really, we all are. \u00a0<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The View at 40 is a weekly column about ageing disgracefully. This week we try not to outrage at razors that piss us off.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":4052,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7271],"tags":[2588,7392,7393,18,710,1924,7394,3218],"class_list":["post-4051","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","tag-metoo","tag-7392","tag-deo","tag-family","tag-feminism","tag-gilette","tag-hirani","tag-world"],"yoast_head":"\nThe View at 40 | Why We\u2019re Silent About Rajkumar Hirani & Outraged Over Gillette\u2019s Advertising<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The View at 40 is a weekly column about ageing disgracefully. 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