{"id":4018,"date":"2016-03-09T17:23:46","date_gmt":"2016-03-09T11:53:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4018"},"modified":"2026-07-17T20:52:23","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T15:22:23","slug":"netflix-you-stalkers-millennials","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=4018","title":{"rendered":"Am I A Stalker? Why We Millennials Have a Little Bit of You\u2019s Joe in Us"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

O<\/span><\/p><\/div>

ne of <\/span>You<\/span><\/i>\u2019s funniest \u2013 and equally scathing \u2013 moments comes well into the explosive show\u2019s sixth episode. An injured Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) breaks into the sprawling vacation house where his <\/span>girlfriend<\/span><\/a> Beck (Elizabeth Lail) and her recuperating best friend Peach (Shay Mitchell) are cooped up. Joe manages to remain out of sight \u2013 hiding under beds and behind doors \u2013 as he spies on their conversations and debauchery; freely judging their intentions with every passing minute. <\/span>\n\nTo anyone else, it\u2019s evident that Joe violating his partner\u2019s privacy stems from his inability to trust her or even consider her an individual. Yet, in Joe\u2019s head, his stalking is justified \u2013 it\u2019s not creepy if he\u2019s concerned about Beck\u2019s well-being. Just like the standard romantic male lead, Joe is, after all, just going to unimaginable lengths to protect the woman he loves. In this case, from getting swayed by her <\/span>toxic<\/span><\/a> best friend to cheat on him. <\/span>\n\nYou <\/span><\/i>juxtaposes Joe\u2019s hypocrisy in a delectable scene: Joe stares at Peach longingly stare at a naked Beth who is inside a bathtub. Without a trace of irony, he expresses his indignation, \u201cHow dare she invade your privacy like that?\u201d It\u2019s impossible not to chuckle at how cleverly staged this moment is. Although, what is more revealing is the realisation that this scene prompts: Just like Joe, even \u201cour\u201d sympathies comfortably lie with him. In our heads as well, Peach is the only villain. It\u2019s precisely this big-screen romantic indulgence of freely allowing male leads their transgressions for the noble pursuit of <\/span>love<\/span><\/a>, that Greg Berlanti and Sera Gamble\u2019s <\/span>You, <\/span><\/i>mines to its advantage. <\/span>\n\nAdapted from Caroline Kepnes\u2019 novel, <\/span>You <\/span><\/i>follows Joe, an introverted bookstore manager and an archetype of the proverbial \u201cnice guy\u201d who stumbles upon Guinevere Beck, a graduate <\/span>student<\/span><\/a> and aspiring writer at his bookstore. It\u2019s love at first sight \u2013 Joe is convinced that he might be the one for Beck, even before he\u2019s had the chance to talk to her. On her part, Beck flirts back, reciprocating his interest by volunteering personal information that is easily searchable on the internet. Joe follows her lead and cleverly arranges a meet-cute in the virtual world by stalking Beck\u2019s multiple online accounts to know her better. <\/span>\n\n\"you\"\n

\n

Unknown to Beck, he steals her phone, reads her messages, manipulates his way into her heart by saying the right things.<\/p>\n

Image Credits: Netflix<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n\nUntil then, <\/span>You<\/span><\/i> resembles a familiar script, one that so many of us repeat in our daily lives. Who among us hasn\u2019t given in to the temptation of looking up <\/span>Tinder<\/span><\/a> matches, our crush\u2019s ex, or even a new boss online, before we meet them? Social media, for the millennial generation, is that 3 am friend we confide in and depend on. <\/span>\n\n

Yet for all his murderous stalker tendencies, Joe seems blissfully unaware of his innate villainy.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nIt\u2019s what this \u201charmless\u201d looking up leads to \u2013 when the show implies that our soulmates might just be our <\/span>stalkers<\/span><\/a> \u2013 that makes <\/span>You<\/span><\/i> a defining series of our times. Within minutes of dissecting Beck online, Joe locates her address on Google Maps and ends up on the street opposite her house, creepily peeking through her windows. And over the course of the next few episodes, he continues stalking her to familiarise himself with her life and then strategically plants himself in it. <\/span>\n\nWhen they eventually start dating, he proceeds to calmly erase anyone who can pose a challenge to their happily-ever-after \u2013 from an ex-boyfriend to a <\/span>best friend<\/span><\/a>. Unknown to Beck, he steals her phone, reads her messages, manipulates his way into her heart by saying the right things, and refuses to leave her on her own for even a second. Yet for all his murderous stalker tendencies, Joe seems blissfully unaware of his innate villainy. In his head, he is the hero of his fairy tale \u2013 the knight in shining armour, who rescues the damsel-in-distress. <\/span>\n\nThe catch is, Joe isn\u2019t the only one who is enveloped in his own delusion. Our reactions to him, mirror that same mentality. In the last few weeks since the show debuted on <\/span>Netflix<\/span><\/a> and attained unexpected popularity, more and more women have chosen to see Joe as boyfriend material, focusing on the unwavering commitment of his obsession. For instance, one Twitter user claimed that she wanted a guy to fall for her just like Joe fell for Beck in the show, while another admitted that she\u2019d been rooting for Joe while watching <\/span>You.<\/span><\/i> A friend, who otherwise astonishes me with the clarity of her thought, couldn\u2019t stop talking about how attracted she felt to Joe while we were discussing the show. It\u2019s as if the fact that Joe is a predator hardly registered. This disturbing train of thought even prompted <\/span>Penn Badgley<\/span><\/a> to take to Twitter and remind audiences to stop confusing Joe as the misunderstood hero and instead see him for what he is: a cold-blooded murderer. <\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s not difficult to understand the origin of our sympathies: Joe after all, embodies every dangerous fantasy of an all-consuming, passionate romance that pop-culture has, over the years, fed us. <\/span>You<\/span><\/i> merely dressed up a predator in an appearance that appeals to us the most: the committed <\/span>boyfriend<\/span><\/a> whose world revolves around the girl he loves and who can do anything for her. And we\u2019ve never had to look beyond it. But by having an extra layer to Joe\u2019s personality that places his brand of romance on the sidelines, <\/span>You<\/span><\/i> also exposes the extent of the influence these problematic romantic ideals have on our ability to rationalise danger. <\/span>\n\nBut <\/span>You<\/span><\/i> reserves its most biting critique for the myopic millennial view of stalking. As the show proves, in our universe, stalking is a dangerous act only when it takes on a physical form and stares us right in the face \u2013 and is committed by strangers. In our heads, the world of harmless online stalking can never intersect with the reality of women being perennially in danger of being stalked in real life. Perhaps that\u2019s the lesson we should imbibe from <\/span>You<\/span><\/i>: Real life is just an extension of <\/span>social media<\/span><\/a>.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who among us hasn\u2019t given in to the temptation of looking up Tinder matches or a new boss online, before we meet them? It\u2019s what this \u201charmless\u201d looking up leads to \u2013 when Netflix\u2019s You implies that our soulmates might just be our stalkers \u2013 that makes it a defining series of our times.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":103,"featured_media":4021,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82],"tags":[7361,1252,7362,224,1245,1341,22,408,357,1467,7363],"class_list":["post-4018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-beck","tag-best-friend","tag-joe-goldberg","tag-love","tag-millennials","tag-netflix","tag-relationships","tag-sex","tag-social-media","tag-stalking","tag-you"],"yoast_head":"\nAm I A Stalker? 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