{"id":3979,"date":"2016-04-01T09:12:09","date_gmt":"2016-04-01T03:42:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3979"},"modified":"2016-04-01T09:12:09","modified_gmt":"2016-04-01T03:42:09","slug":"orgasm-sex-women-pleasure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3979","title":{"rendered":"Hi Boys, I am a Woman\u2019s Orgasm. Here\u2019s How You Find Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

L<\/span><\/p><\/div>

\n\net me start with a story. Last year, I ended my 23-year-long <\/span>single<\/span><\/a> streak, and let someone into my life. He was sweet, intelligent and someone with whom I thought I had a lot in common. Initially, when things were at the PG-13 level, life was great. But as with most couples of the 21st century, things moved in to the boudoir fairly quickly. As we made our way through all the bases, however, I remember being hit by a crushing sense of disappointment. <\/span>Friends<\/span><\/a> I confided in told me to be patient because women, unlike men, \u201cneeded time\u201d.<\/span>\n\nI won\u2019t lie he did try. In fact, he always made it a point to let me know he was making an effort. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I began to believe that something was wrong with me. Women, after all, must be apologetic about everything. One day, while he was trying \u201cvery hard\u201d to <\/span>pleasure<\/span><\/a> me, I found him looking at me with an \u201cI give up\u201d expression. Rather than spend the next 15 minutes feeling guilty, I told him to stop. He happily obliged, but not before telling me, \u201cIt\u2019s worked with other girls. It\u2019s just you.\u201d<\/span>\n\nI remember feeling like I\u2019d been slapped across the face. I cared for him deeply and this, I believed, was something I could make my peace with. Eventually though, we did <\/span>break up<\/span><\/a> \u2013 for several unrelated reasons \u2013 but that statement continues to gnaw at me.<\/span>\n\n\u201cWhy can\u2019t I have an <\/span>orgasm<\/span><\/a>?\u201d I asked Google, hoping that the All Knowing One would be able to ease my mind. The first few links told me I couldn\u2019t because I wasn\u2019t relaxed enough. Well, no shit. I am naked, my nether regions are left to someone else\u2019s mercy and all I can think about is if I should be <\/span>screaming in agreement<\/span><\/a> like they do in porn. Others told me that the big O is one of those things in life that\u2019s not easy to come by. Okay, sure. Difficult, not impossible. I mean, climbing the Everest is difficult and people have done that… But, Google dazzled me with the statistics: Men have conquered the moon, but the not quite the bedroom, it seemed. Seventy five per cent of women are in agreement with me. <\/span>\n\nThree-quarters of the world\u2019s female population never make the trip to bliss-land. Doesn\u2019t that seem unfair to you? <\/span>\n\nA few months ago, a friend told me that in all the years that she had been sexually active, never had a man been able to make her come. \u201cOn the other hand,\u201d she chuckled, \u201cif I take <\/span>matters into my own hands<\/span><\/a>, five minutes, man!\u201d Now, if you think that she only speaks for herself, consider this: Research <\/span>conducted by CAM4<\/span><\/a> asked the same question, and their study concluded that over 70 per cent of the women achieve orgasm through masturbation. Done deal, no refund policy required.<\/span>\n\nNow one could argue that when there is a partner is involved, there is a sense of intimacy and that it\u2019s absurd to reduce sex with a loved one to mere gratification. No one\u2019s suggesting that you rush straight to the checkout counter. No, please, take your time exploring all the aisles. Explore every nook and cranny, contemplate trying out new things (remember, consent is sexy), and enjoy the trip. The problem arises when partners are enthu-cutlets who just like to grab whatever they can and drive away, while the poor woman is left stranded at the self-care section. <\/span>The penis is not a wand<\/span><\/a>: You can\u2019t simply flick it and expect magic to shoot through a woman.<\/span>\n\nAnother weird flex men tend to have is assuming <\/span>porn<\/span><\/a> is some sort of encyclopaedia for sex. It\u2019s not. Please forget everything you\u2019ve learnt watching porn. If you think the women in porn are having as many orgasms as <\/span>Bappi Lahiri<\/span><\/a> has gold chains, you\u2019ve fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book. Michael Castleman, an expert who writes for <\/span>Psychology Today,<\/span><\/a> spoke to several pornstars, none of whom said they had ever reached orgasm on camera, no matter how long the intercourse lasted.<\/span>\n\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t I have an orgasm?\u201d I asked Google, hoping that the All Knowing One would be able to ease my mind.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nThe road to the elusive orgasm is paved with pretty basic biology. The largest concentration of nerve-endings that trigger orgasms in women is in the clitoris. Is the memory of your teacher rushing through the chapter of reproduction coming back to you? Don\u2019t bother, they didn\u2019t talk about the clit either. So, I suggest that you create a \u201cto-do-list for better sex\u201d and write down, \u201cNUMBER ONE: FIND THE CLITORIS\u201d. Don\u2019t be a Columbus in a world of Google Maps. Find out exactly where you\u2019re going, instead of wasting your time out at sea.<\/span>\n\nMen who engage in sexual activity finish 85 per cent of the time, and that\u2019s great news. Sadly most men don\u2019t seem to want to spread the love.<\/span> In fact, a <\/span>survey by Cosmo<\/span><\/a> reveals that 72 per cent women have been in that awkward situation where their partner climaxes and makes no attempt to help them finish. The general rule of thumb here should be that if you want her to play with your rod, you better be ready to go fishing.<\/span>\n\nYou may not be successful every single time. That\u2019s okay. But, if you think you should be handed out some sort of thank you gift for showing up to the party, you are wrong. If things aren\u2019t working out, make an effort to figure out what you can do better. But for the love of god, don\u2019t act like you know best. Try new things, new positions, maybe even <\/span>look up sex toys<\/span><\/a>. Don\u2019t be freaked out, a study shows that women reach orgasm <\/span>51-60 per cent<\/span><\/a> of the time with assisted intercourse (with hands or a vibrator).<\/span>\n\nThere is so much information out there on the female orgasm, it\u2019s overwhelming. Still most articles continue to put the onus on the woman. Some say sex is more emotionally complicated for women, others blame the woman\u2019s <\/span>self-esteem<\/span><\/a>. You too could be like them: Pretend you\u2019re Barney Stinson reincarnate, and assume women are falling over themselves for a chance to enjoy 15 seconds of sex with you. Or you can make an effort to see where you are going wrong. And if 67 per cent of women are <\/span>faking orgasms<\/span><\/a>, there probably is something wrong.<\/span>\n\nMaybe you could start with a conversation? If you are mature enough to have <\/span>sex<\/span><\/a>, you should be sensible enough to confront things head-on. Every man should know that he has the power to make a woman in his life roll her eyes so far back that she sees the stars. All you have to do is ask, \u201cWould you like a finger with that?\u201d<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is so much information out there on the female orgasm, it\u2019s overwhelming. Still three-quarters of the world\u2019s women seem to be somehow stranded on an orgasmless island. Men, it\u2019s time for you to start taking notes…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":325,"featured_media":3980,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[7311,7312,1875,224,7313,3271,407,7314,408,2262,2323],"class_list":["post-3979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-climax","tag-desire","tag-intercourse","tag-love","tag-lust","tag-man","tag-orgasm","tag-relatonship","tag-sex","tag-sexuality","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nHi Boys, I am a Woman\u2019s Orgasm. Here\u2019s How You Find Me<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There is so much information out there on the female orgasm, it\u2019s overwhelming. 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