{"id":3856,"date":"2016-05-08T16:04:46","date_gmt":"2016-05-08T10:34:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3856"},"modified":"2016-05-08T16:04:46","modified_gmt":"2016-05-08T10:34:46","slug":"interfaith-marriage-religion-parents-christian-muslim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3856","title":{"rendered":"What I Learnt About Religion Growing Up With a Christian Father and Muslim Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

O<\/span><\/p><\/div>

\nften when I\u2019m asked to introduce myself, I use my first name Tarana. Some people who are familiar with Urdu realise that Tarana is an Urdu word and assume that I\u2019m a Muslim. When they ask me to confirm the same, I tell them my surname<\/span><\/a> \u2013 Emmanuel. The confused look on their faces is always a pleasure to watch. <\/span>\n\nBorn to a Muslim mother and a Christian father, I\u2019m both <\/span>Christian<\/span><\/a> and Muslim. As much as I like to take pride in that, I don\u2019t always get a very positive reaction from people with whom I share this. Most elder acquaintances that I meet from my communities (on both sides) seem to give me a <\/span>judgemental<\/span><\/a> look, as if pitying me for what my parents did. In fact, one doesn\u2019t need to go too far to see the disdain that my parents experienced from their own families when they decided to tie the knot. <\/span>\n\nBut you probably already knew that. There are way too many essays, books, and films that give you a detailed picture of what the struggle of an <\/span>interfaith marriage<\/span><\/a> looks like. But beyond the pathos and drama immortalised in movies like <\/span>Bombay<\/span><\/i>, there exists another side to an interfaith marriage, which not many people talk about. It\u2019s a perspective only the children of interfaith couples, like me, have the privilege of getting. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nMy childhood was about getting to buy new clothes twice a year instead of once \u2013 on <\/span>Eid<\/span><\/a> and then on Christmas. It was about having friends over on December 25 to share a plum cake and running to neighbours\u2019 houses to treat them with sheer korma on Eid. I waited for Eidis from relatives as eagerly as I waited for my gifts from <\/span>Santa<\/span><\/a>. My mom, who was raised as a Muslim for 23 years of her life, decorated the tree on Christmas, and my dad \u2013 who used to sing in the church choir growing up \u2013 wore the skull cap on Eid. We went to the church as a family and we also remembered to shut off the music system during azaan. <\/span>\n\nGrowing up, my parents and their actions were everyday reminders of the fact that their different <\/span>religions and faiths<\/span><\/a> could never be a reason for something that would separate them. <\/span>\n\nThe way I saw the interfaith <\/span>marriage of my parents<\/span><\/a> as a child is very different from the way I see it now, as a 22-year-old adult. While as a kid, I only cherished the way my parents embraced their differences, today I am able to truly see and appreciate the kind of <\/span>freedom<\/span><\/a> and space that my parents gave each other. My mum never stopped my dad from doing anything that he chose to do to honour his faith, and vice versa. There was a mutual respect and understanding for each other\u2019s wishes and beliefs. Nobody forced the other to support their own faith, and both of them still obliged each other out of love. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nWhen I read about India\u2019s famed \u201c<\/span>unity<\/span><\/a> in diversity\u201d in school, it felt familiar to me in a deeply personal way. The idealistic notion that such a vibrant array of faiths and belief systems could co-exist harmoniously in this melting pot called India seemed easily achievable. If my mother and father were able to find a happy middle ground despite their religious differences, surely others could too?<\/span>\n\nTo grow up seeing two individuals lead a life like this shapes you too, in many ways. At a <\/span>young age<\/span><\/a> you start seeing differences as something to cherish rather than to be afraid of. To be a part of two <\/span>communities<\/span><\/a> at the same time, to interact and hear views of families who follow different faiths, not just opens your mind to a whole lot of different thought processes and viewpoints, but it also helps you become a far more empathetic, sensitive, and tolerant person. <\/span>\n\nIn such a scenario when I read about the saffronisation of education in India or organised efforts like the most recent VHP rally in <\/span>Delhi<\/span><\/a>, where thousands gathered to press for the construction of the Ram temple in Ayodhya; I\u2019m left wondering about how easily we\u2019re led into harping on our separate religious identities rather than celebrating the diversity that sets us apart as a nation. <\/span>\n\nMy parents and their relationship focused on the most essential parts of their separate<\/span> religious<\/span><\/a> teachings and nurturing them. And anybody who has truly understood their own religion and faith, would know that would that it was kindness, acceptance, and humanity that my parents handpicked and nurtured.<\/span>\n\nIn an India where currently a <\/span>mandir and masjid<\/span><\/a> remain at the centre point for political parties and their games, I hope we\u2019re soon able to move to a time where interfaith marriages aren\u2019t considered taboo, because I, as a daughter of an interfaith couple, can say with certainty that it is the best thing to have happened to me. As I\u2019ve learned, all you need to get along is love. <\/span>\n\nAnd to celebrate that, I\u2019m buying my mom a new <\/span>Quran<\/span><\/a>. It\u2019s her Christmas gift.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are way too many essays, books, and films that give you a detailed picture of what the struggle of an interfaith marriage looks like. But beyond the pathos and drama immortalised in movies like Bombay, there exists another side to an interfaith marriage, which not many people talk about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":317,"featured_media":3857,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[1003,2316,4887,7193,21,1382,1726,520],"class_list":["post-3856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family","tag-children","tag-christian","tag-faith","tag-interfaith","tag-marriage","tag-muslim","tag-parents","tag-religion"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I Learnt About Religion Growing Up With a Christian Father and Muslim Mother<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are way too many essays, books, and films that give you a detailed picture of what the struggle of an interfaith marriage looks like. 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