{"id":3852,"date":"2016-07-10T15:55:57","date_gmt":"2016-07-10T10:25:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3852"},"modified":"2016-07-10T15:55:57","modified_gmt":"2016-07-10T10:25:57","slug":"over-celebrating-weddings-birthdays-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3852","title":{"rendered":"#EverydayPhenomenal: What Our Obsession with Over-Celebrating Weddings, Birthdays, and Now Even Divorces Says About Us"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

L<\/span><\/p><\/div>

ast week, I had the misfortune of attending a <\/span>wedding<\/span><\/a> where the seven-minute-long monstrosity that was the pre-wedding video played three times. At each one of the five parties. On giant 12X12 feet screens stationed strategically across the venue. You could run, but there was nowhere to hide from the <\/span>couple<\/span><\/a>\u2019s many walks into the sunset, pillow fights, and food fights while making what looked like Rachel\u2019s beef trifle. By the 15th viewing, I was prepared to fake a pregnancy (I\u2019m unmarried) just so I\u2019d be forever banished from every future family celebration. <\/span>\n\nAs <\/span>December<\/span><\/a> draws to a close, I\u2019m certain most of us have been subjected to similar ungodly, and painfully boring, number of pre-wedding and save-the-date videos. In addition to being forced to smile at the vulgar display of wealth that these multiple reminders of a couple\u2019s everlasting love are, one is expected to violently appreciate the minutest details \u2014 whether the bride\u2019s <\/span>lehenga<\/span><\/a> is a Sabya or a Tahiliani knockoff, and if the groom has, at the very least, learned how to strum a few chords for that customary campfire shot. <\/span>\n\nNever mind that reality looked something like a variation of this: The bewildered girl stumbles her way into the living room, feeling a bit ridiculous about being decorated like a <\/span>Christmas<\/span><\/a> tree, balancing a tray loaded with cups of chai and samosas, while the boy\u2019s mother gave her a piercing <\/span>Mean Girls<\/span><\/i>-like once-over, sizing her up to see if she had child-bearing hips or not. <\/span>\n\nBut people don\u2019t need to know that. <\/span>Reality<\/span><\/a> can be anything one wants it to be, provided one has the money to hire a wedding studio with a clever scriptwriter and an even better video editor. Aforementioned videos will then be shared on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, <\/span>circulated on WhatsApp<\/span><\/a>, be widely dissected on the various messenger groups that include anywhere between 100 to 1,000 of the couple\u2019s \u201cclosest buddies\u201d. <\/span>\n\nToday there is no escaping the multiple tawdry parties to celebrate a solitary life event for the sake of social media pageantry. Now, unless you\u2019re winners of the genetic jackpot like <\/span>Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh<\/span><\/a> and want the world to very keenly feel its misery while sighing over your combined gorgeousness; or your wedding is practically paying for itself with all the endorsement deals your brilliant PR team managed to secure like <\/span>Nickyanka<\/span><\/a>; or you\u2019re the Ambani and Piramal spawn, and at least one of your mothers is trying to use your award function-like spectacle of a wedding as a launchpad for an image makeover, there\u2019s really no good reason to squeeze celebration out of <\/span>marriage<\/span><\/a> like a nimbu-pani waala squeezes every last drop of juice from a lemon rind. Because here\u2019s the truth most people stuffing their faces with your \u20b92,500-per-plate aren\u2019t telling you: No. One. Cares. <\/span>\n\nNo one really wants to see your second cousin\u2019s precocious tween gyrating to a grossly inappropriate song at your <\/span>sangeet<\/span><\/a>. And no one is entertained by that weird uncle who gets far too drunk far too quickly at the cocktail party and insists on dancing with the bride\u2019s bestie. And absolutely no one wants a drone hovering over their heads as they slip a little vodka into their orange juice to survive the ceremony. <\/span>\n\nWretchedly, it\u2019s not even just weddings anymore. Our <\/span>gluttony<\/span><\/a> for celebration, and an overinflated sense of self that insists that no milestone goes unacknowledged in as gaudy a way as money can buy, extends to \u201clandmark\u201d moments that until this craze for self-celebration took over us, were pretty standard <\/span>rites<\/span><\/a> of passage from one stage of life to another. Everything, from graduating college to showing the world that reproductive organs are functioning as expected, is an achievement in the world we currently inhabit. <\/span>\n\n

Reality can be anything one wants it to be, provided one has the money to hire a wedding studio with a clever scriptwriter and an even better video editor.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nOver the last couple of years, I\u2019ve watched in amazement as heavily<\/span> pregnant women<\/span><\/a> orchestrate their \u201csurprise\u201d baby showers. From the exact shade of ivory in which she and the father of her child will be photographed in, to the makeup artist who will strobe her pregnancy glow to perfection, and even the tower of cupcakes against which a tasteful number of guests will pose for <\/span>Instagram<\/span><\/a> purposes, nothing is left to chance. The baby might be an accident, but nothing that follows, is. <\/span>\n\nI\u2019ve also been part of kiddy birthday parties where mini-Disneylands are erected in the giant halls of <\/span>five-star<\/span><\/a> hotels in honour of the first birthday of a child who spent roughly 96 per cent of the party wailing. I\u2019ve been forced to get out of my <\/span>pyjamas<\/span><\/a> and participate in multiple birthday parties for the same person because apparently birth<\/span>day <\/span><\/i>is no longer sufficient, we need birth <\/span>week<\/span><\/i> and birth <\/span>month<\/span><\/i> to recognise our existence on, what Carl Sagan labelled, \u201ca mote of dust, suspended on a sunbeam\u201d. Oddly, the more we learn about the awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping vastness of the <\/span>universe<\/span><\/a>, and how we\u2019re less than a blip in the space time fabric, the more we insist on celebrating ourselves and our inconsequential lives. <\/span>\n\nIn an essay titled \u201cThe Over-celebration of Life Events\u201d, writer Alia Wong <\/span>explains<\/span><\/a>, \u201cOne of the biggest \u2014 if not the biggest \u2014 factors driving this phenomenon [of over-celebration] is social media. These parties wouldn\u2019t be so popular if it weren\u2019t for the exposure they get on platforms like Facebook and Instagram, where others see them and, perhaps, then feel inclined to throw their own.\u201d <\/span>\n\nIn this race to make a <\/span>public production<\/span><\/a> of our lives, do we no longer know have to have a private and intimate moment \u2014 with ourselves and our loved ones?<\/span>\n\nI\u2019m told that celebrations serve a social purpose. They force people to show up and rally around those that they claim to care \u2014 in times of <\/span>happiness<\/span><\/a> and in times of pain. So maybe it\u2019s time to take a step back, and instead of thinking of newer, increasingly ridiculous ways to torch money by making up events that force <\/span>human interaction<\/span><\/a>, let\u2019s try this radical new thing called showing up for each other. You know, <\/span>just because<\/span><\/i>?<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What\u2019s with the multiple tawdry parties to celebrate a solitary life event like marriage? Unless you\u2019re DeepVeer or Nickyanka \u2013 who also overdid it \u2013 the truth most people stuffing their faces with your \u20b92,500-per-plate aren\u2019t telling you is: No. One. Cares.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":306,"featured_media":3853,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[7190,3657,6756,17,7191,472,417],"class_list":["post-3852","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-birthdays","tag-celebration","tag-deepveer","tag-divorce","tag-isha-ambani","tag-people","tag-weddings"],"yoast_head":"\n#EverydayPhenomenal: What Our Obsession with Over-Celebrating Weddings, Birthdays, and Now Even Divorces Says About Us<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What\u2019s with the multiple tawdry parties to celebrate a solitary life event like marriage? Unless you\u2019re DeepVeer or Nickyanka \u2013 who also overdid it \u2013 the truth most people stuffing their faces with your \u20b92,500-per-plate aren\u2019t telling you is: No. One. Cares.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3852\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"#EverydayPhenomenal: What Our Obsession with Over-Celebrating Weddings, Birthdays, and Now Even Divorces Says About Us\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What\u2019s with the multiple tawdry parties to celebrate a solitary life event like marriage? Unless you\u2019re DeepVeer or Nickyanka \u2013 who also overdid it \u2013 the truth most people stuffing their faces with your \u20b92,500-per-plate aren\u2019t telling you is: No. One. 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