{"id":3832,"date":"2016-03-08T04:28:07","date_gmt":"2016-03-07T22:58:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3832"},"modified":"2016-03-08T04:28:07","modified_gmt":"2016-03-07T22:58:07","slug":"cuddling-is-better-than-sex-fight-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3832","title":{"rendered":"Everyday I\u2019m Cuddlin\u2019: The Secret to a Healthy Relationship is Lying in Your Partner\u2019s Arms"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

U<\/span><\/p>ntil I was 18, \u201cBaahon mein chale aao\u201d was just another tune I associated with Lillette Dubey\u2019s memorable portrayal of a libidinous 40-something in <\/span>Kal Ho Naa Ho<\/span><\/i><\/a>. But that changed forever in 2010 when my first girlfriend and I found ourselves mid-snuggle. And she decided it was a good idea to start singing the famous tune under her breath, channelling Miss Dubey\u2019s absurd mannerisms. This was my first agonising tryst with cuddling. For obvious reasons, it turned me off this facet of <\/span>couplehood<\/span><\/a> for a long, long time. <\/span>\n\nIn fact, it was exactly these cliche aspects of being in a relationship that fuelled my aversion to relationships for much of my early-20s. And also because <\/span>singlehood is amazing<\/span><\/a>: There\u2019s no cap on the number of hook-ups you can have, nobody is judging your \u201c#HoePhase\u201d, and there\u2019s the amazing feeling of manspreading in your <\/span>big-enough-for-two-but-comfier-for-one<\/span><\/a> bed. <\/span>\n\nOf course, the amazing part about being young is realising how stupid you were to reject the things you\u2019d later crave \u2013 and even in 2018, there\u2019s no condom that can prevent you from catching feelings. Despite the casual sex, one-night stands, and messy FWB situations, we\u2019re primed to desire lovers who will simply accept us for the <\/span>sorry saps<\/span><\/a> we truly are. Someone who won\u2019t judge us for snoring and tooting in our sleep. Someone whose non-judgemental arms we could fall asleep in.<\/span>\n\nDon\u2019t get me <\/span>wrong<\/span><\/a>. I know that as an \u201cI\u2019m good with anything, but let\u2019s not commit, babe\u201d millennial, it is no longer fashionable to say or feel this: <\/span>Casual sex is great<\/span><\/a> and all, but have you experienced the pure joy of resting your head in the arms of a lover with whom you\u2019ve established a level of comfort that goes beyond the casual? The kind of dynamic where you leave toothbrushes, moisturisers, and slippers stashed in your partner\u2019s houses? Where the craving for their presence goes beyond the sexual? You long for the feeling of utter bliss you get when cuddling them. And even with<\/span> obvious<\/span><\/a> downsides of snuggling like atrophied limbs and waking up with hair follicles wedged in your mouth, there\u2019s hardly a better feeling than being in that sleep-induced tender embrace. <\/span>\n\n

Casual sex is great and all, but have you experienced the pure joy of resting your head in the arms of a lover with whom you\u2019ve established a level of comfort that goes beyond casual?<\/blockquote>\n\nYou get into a space where you don\u2019t miss a single opportunity to canoodle. Whether it\u2019s in bed, in the back of an Uber or in the middle of a Bandra salad joint. You\u2019re like a couple of labradoodles in heat. You begin understanding digital trends like #CuddleGameStrong, #HugLife and <\/span>#CuddleComa<\/span><\/a>. Semantics aside, falling asleep mid-cuddle, inevitably fills your heart with warmth that\u2019s akin to watching that four-minute montage of <\/span>Carl and Elle ageing together<\/span><\/a> in 2009\u2019s <\/span>Up<\/span><\/i> \u2013 you\u2019re just grateful to have someone to call your own.<\/span>\n\nSo then, there\u2019s two questions I seek the answer to, a) Why does cuddling feel so damn good? And b) Why have hipsters like me begun shaming this bliss? <\/span>\n\nThanks to Google, I\u2019ve realised the answer to my first question is \u2013 in the words of the great Jesse Pinkman \u2013 \u201cScience, bitch.\u2019 As <\/span>infants<\/span><\/a>, the first sense we develop is touch, even before vision or taste. As we grow older, this sense of touch matures. <\/span>Bodily contact<\/span><\/a> causes you to release oxytocin, you know, that <\/span>hormone<\/span><\/a> that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? <\/span>\n\nAs for the second, young upper-class hipsters like me have made a habit of mocking the \u201cBabu Shonas\u201d, or steady couples who post cringe-worthy updates on their relationship on social media. Which is why my desire to cuddle with a partner unravels like some sort of shameful kink. And the pressure to be a cool, single person who doesn\u2019t care about commitment is frighteningly real. Everyone assumes that we\u2019re just a bunch of right-swipers who live by the nonchalant motto, \u201cThank u, next.\u201d But if you can\u2019t lie motionless in each other\u2019s arms for hours, what good is great camaraderie <\/span>laced with lust<\/span><\/a>?<\/span>\n\nThere is a chance that I might be an outlier here. But I\u2019d like to believe that unlike sex, cuddling only gets better as your <\/span>relationship progresses<\/span><\/a>. I imagine that after decades of being with someone, you naturally understand their skin, scent, texture of their hair, and every contour of their body. <\/span>\n\nDeadlines can wait. Alarms can snooze themselves until the battery runs out. Nothing\u2019s getting you two out of bed. Yeah, deactivate my <\/span>Tinder<\/span><\/a>. Sign me up for that life.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No condom can prevent you from catching feels. And despite our Tinder generation\u2019s collective aversion to long term-romances, most of us are still just looking for a pair of non-judgey arms to fall asleep in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":166,"featured_media":3833,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex"],"yoast_head":"\nEveryday I\u2019m Cuddlin\u2019: The Secret to a Healthy Relationship is Lying in Your Partner\u2019s Arms<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"No condom can prevent you from catching feels. 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