{"id":3830,"date":"2016-07-26T22:49:18","date_gmt":"2016-07-26T17:19:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3830"},"modified":"2016-07-26T22:49:18","modified_gmt":"2016-07-26T17:19:18","slug":"bjp-supporter-relationship-politics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3830","title":{"rendered":"The Politics of Love: How I Date a Modi Supporter as a Good Little Liberal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\u00a0\n

\u201cH<\/span>e\u2019s not that bad, you know.\u201d\n\n<\/p>I was once again ranting about some stunt our poor version of the Dear Leader had pulled when the man I\u2019ve now been <\/span>dating<\/span><\/a> for the better part of the year quietly interrupted me. It\u2019s pretty much impossible to stop me when I\u2019m trying to make a point, but he managed it<\/span> easily. The horror took a couple of seconds to sink in, and not knowing what to do at that time, I quickly began to talk about my go-to topic to avoid awkwardness, the all-encompassing beauty of <\/span>Roger Federer<\/span><\/a>. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nOur relationship is new, we\u2019ve been dating for a couple of months only. I don\u2019t remember which new<\/span> government<\/span><\/a> policy or claim had triggered me, but I remember when the words, \u201cHe isn\u2019t <\/span>that<\/span><\/i> bad\u201d were spoken, I did not explode like I generally do. <\/span>\n\nThat night I couldn\u2019t stop thinking about it: The man I am so fond of is a <\/span>BJP<\/span><\/a> supporter. And I\u2019m a proper little liberal. How were we going to make this work? <\/span>\n\nI met him on <\/span>Tinder<\/span><\/a> after plenty of left swipes. After a first date that lasted five hours, I found that he was unlike the many men I\u2019d met, unlike boyfriends and husbands of friends \u2013 men who subtly try to run the lives of the women they claim to love unconditionally. Even though he\u2019s never said it in as many words, I know he likes me for who I am, snot-faced and all. <\/span>\n\nAs we\u2019ve gotten to know each other better, I\u2019ve come to realise that we are similar in a lot of ways, and so different in others. He\u2019s the water to my fire, the calm presence my aggression needs. But I was still not prepared for our political differences. <\/span>\n\nEver since I turned 18 half a lifetime ago and was eligible to vote, I have been a Congress supporter and, recently, an <\/span>independent voter<\/span><\/a>. While I acknowledge that I-am-who-I-hate isn\u2019t the best way to identify with any political ideology, I also know that in India informed voters like me have to choose between the lesser of two evils. And that, for me, has been any party or individual that can keep a right-wing leader away from my constituency. <\/span>\n

I have presumed right-wing supporters to be stupid, inconsiderate, inhuman, and intellectually and morally beneath me.<\/blockquote>\nMy <\/span>political identity<\/span><\/a> is a part of who I am, and it impacts all of my decisions. And after the Gujarat pogrom that took place under Mr Modi in 2002, I\u2019d added one more point to my \u201cperfect man\u201d list: He could only mention right-wing politics in India as a negative; anything else was unacceptable. The personal had become the political. In my brief dating life since then, I\u2019ve managed to happily be with only one man who was firmly on my side of the argument. Together we\u2019d take on <\/span>Modi supporters<\/span><\/a> and criticise the BJP. <\/span>\n\nThe<\/span> Gujarat question<\/span><\/a> has always been a sticking point between me and any BJP supporters I meet. Now that question was at my doorstep. In my own little hubristic bubble, I have presumed right-wing supporters to be stupid, inconsiderate, inhuman, and, since I\u2019m being honest here, intellectually and morally beneath me. <\/span>\n\nBut the man I\u2019m with is none of those things. <\/span>\n\nSince that day, we\u2019ve discussed his, and my, political leanings in much more detail \u2014 which have ranged from the mild to the highly contentious. His reasons for preferring Modi are related to his work. He works in the financial services sector, an industry that benefits from the development agenda often propagated by right-wing governments in this country. Mr Modi in power means a thriving workplace for him where companies are optimistic about growth and are <\/span>bullish about investments<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>\n\nThat is an answer I can teach myself to live with. <\/span>\n\nHis numbers-loving mind is also what he uses to rationalise a lot of the decisions the prime minister makes. When I speak of the haste with which <\/span>GST<\/span><\/a> was implemented or the depleting value of the rupee, he uses his knowledge of macroeconomics to calmly explain them away. My emotional responses are countered by financial statistics that shut me up, until I\u2019m ready with my next set of arguments. <\/span>\n\nHe also talks proudly about the prime minister\u2019s flagship campaign, the <\/span>Swachh Bharat Abhiyan<\/span><\/a>. As he rightly says, all Indians have always wanted a clean country. But it is Mr Modi who made it an agenda and got people talking about it. We\u2019ll know how much change it brings on the ground once a few years have passed and enough time has been given to collect data, he tells me when I bring up half-constructed <\/span>toilets<\/span><\/a>. But I see his point as far as Swacch Bharat goes: It\u2019ll be difficult to find anyone who hasn\u2019t heard of the Abhiyan in India. <\/span>\n\nSince he is largely apolitical otherwise, my gloating after the BJP was unable to come to power in three states last December didn\u2019t have its expected effect. \u201cLet\u2019s wait for <\/span>2019<\/span><\/a>,\u201d was the concluding remark from both of us. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nBut with the general election here, I remind myself that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Just like I love my <\/span>parents<\/span><\/a> who, too, have a different political ideology, I can learn to accept his perceived \u201cshortcomings\u201d as well. He knows I\u2019ll never stop arguing my case as I see fit and I know that he would never stop me from doing so. While I may get exasperated with him for not agreeing with me, he never does. And even as I \u2013 to my genuine shame \u2013 judge him sometimes for his political choices, I know he doesn\u2019t apply the same logic to me. That shame has even led me to tell him to keep his choice of Mr Modi to himself in the presence of my friends who are firmly on my side of the fence. I recognise my <\/span>hypocrisy<\/span><\/a> because if roles were reversed, I\u2019d have been aghast if he had asked me to do that. <\/span>\n\nThat is why he deserves the same non-judgment and acceptance from me that I get from him. Because if I am unable to wholly respect his point of view and beliefs, it makes me an intolerant person \u2013 something the BJP supporter and I will have in common. And that is one thing I can never allow to happen. <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few months into a new relationship, I discovered the man I am dating is a Modi supporter. And I\u2019m the textbook definition of a liberal. How were we going to make this work?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":315,"featured_media":3831,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[2256,2880,4671,180,33],"class_list":["post-3830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-bjp","tag-congress","tag-liberal","tag-modi","tag-politics"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Politics of Love: How I Date a Modi Supporter as a Good Little Liberal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A few months into a new relationship, I discovered the man I am dating is a Modi supporter. And I\u2019m the textbook definition of a liberal. 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