{"id":3747,"date":"2016-03-27T16:47:33","date_gmt":"2016-03-27T11:17:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3747"},"modified":"2016-03-27T16:47:33","modified_gmt":"2016-03-27T11:17:33","slug":"deepveer-deepika-padukone-ranveer-singh-gets-labelled-husband-of-the-century","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3747","title":{"rendered":"How Low is the Bar Set That Ranveer Singh Gets Labelled Husband of the Century?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

L<\/span><\/p>ook, I get it. When two obscenely good-looking <\/span>superstars <\/span><\/a>\u2014 in the prime of their lives, pink of health, and top of their careers \u2014 get married, it\u2019s big news. Obviously, we want in on all the details. How many functions? Who made it to the guest list? And which ex felt snubbed in the absence of a gilded invite on scented handmade paper in the mail? It\u2019s a matter of national importance. Nay, it\u2019s a matter of grave personal importance for wholly unconnected, single third parties, given the hysteria with which each mundane detail is revealed, smothered by a gaggle of superlative adjectives. Are you even worthy of being called a woman if you can\u2019t prattle off the names of all the designers <\/span>Deepika and Ranveer<\/span><\/a> wore, in alphabetical order \u2014 not just Sabyasachi, mind you? <\/span>\n\nThe over-effusiveness, while odious, can be amusing on good days. I suppose guessing the exact length of the do chutki sindoor in Deepika Padukone\u2019s maang during her post-wedding appearances can be a fun <\/span>drinking<\/span><\/a> game. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nBut the joke\u2019s on them. <\/span>\n\nAs a wholly unconnected, single third party, I can vouch for the fact that the <\/span>wedding<\/span><\/a> means little more than visual relief to most of us. I mean, we\u2019re already drowning in an ocean of cousins\u2019, friends\u2019, and \u2013 most painfully \u2013 exes\u2019 weddings, come November and December, so the chances of a dreamy filmy wedding is hardly going to throw us into paroxysms of grief and yearning. Sometime between our first <\/span>paycheque<\/span><\/a> and the hundredth, most of us made our peace with the fact that unless we entirely eliminate our food budget for several years, we\u2019re not going to be get married in a multi-lakh Sabya lehenga. And Lake Como can wait, there\u2019s a 20-year <\/span>home loan<\/span><\/a> to be paid off for the matchbox-sized apartment you just bought in the furthest suburb of Mumbai.<\/span>\n\nYaay! <\/span>\n\n

Sweet as Ranveer Singh\u2019s gestures are, him being smitten by his wife is hardly husband of the millennium material.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nNow that it\u2019s been established that the almost vulgarly publicised DeepVeer wedding is really not the event of the year\/decade\/century\/millennium, imagine one\u2019s surprise by the proclamations anointing Ranveer Singh as the <\/span>husband<\/span><\/a> our collective womanly hearts should shudder and sigh over longingly, with all the vigour of our unmet desires. A prince among mere mortals, please to be excusing his dubious condom-inspired outfits. <\/span>\n\nDeclarations like that deserve closer, more thorough <\/span>examination<\/span><\/a>, of course. And so I embarked on the exhilarating journey that took me through the nuanced but public gestures that make Ranveer Singh the husband of our dreams.<\/span>\n\nA somewhat complete list of all the things the man has done to \u201cearn\u201d the gushing #husbandgoals hashtag: <\/span>\n

    \n \t
  1. Holding his newly <\/span>married<\/span><\/a> wife\u2019s hand while walking out of the airport literally days after their wedding. <\/span><\/li>\n \t
  2. Helping his wife navigate the pallu of her sari at Wedding Reception #1.<\/span><\/li>\n \t
  3. Blowing kisses in her direction at said reception.<\/span><\/li>\n \t
  4. Putting his arm around her so she doesn\u2019t get mobbed at the airport.<\/span><\/li>\n \t
  5. Coordinating outfits with her for Wedding Reception #2.<\/span><\/li>\n \t
  6. Kissing her fingers after helping her receive a ginormous bouquet. <\/span><\/li>\n \t
  7. Whispering something in his bride\u2019s ear.<\/span><\/li>\n \t
  8. Looking delighted about being married to his girlfriend of six years.<\/span><\/li>\n \t
  9. \u201cGiving\u201d her \u201cwhatever she wished\u201d for the wedding. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n

    Because the sindoor as long as a meatball sub was not enough to assert Ranveer\u2019s contribution to her identity, it had to be helped along by bhabhiji. Perfect.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nIf you\u2019re as befuddled as I am, I sincerely hope we have company. Sweet as Ranveer Singh\u2019s gestures are, him being smitten by his wife is hardly husband of the <\/span>millennium<\/span><\/a> material. I mean if on their wedding day, a man won\u2019t even have the decency to look awed by his bride \u2014 especially one who looks like there are lamps permanently lit under her skin \u2014 what use is he, really? And how does adjusting your wife\u2019s pallu make for a viral video? How low have we set the bar? And given the vast wealth that the two have amassed at a relatively young age, it would be decidedly weird if either one of them didn\u2019t have \u201cwhatever they wished\u201d at their super fancy, super exclusive <\/span>destination weddings<\/span><\/a> and receptions. Means if even the top one per cent of the country can\u2019t have the wedding of their dreams, we might as well retire the big, fat, recession-immune Indian wedding industry. Like, seriously. <\/span>\n\nGiven our tearing hurry to throw superlatives and titles at <\/span>celebrities<\/span><\/a> for exhibiting what can only be called thoroughly normal human behaviour, and the fact that there are a few more high-profile weddings coming up in the next few months, here are a few filters to differentiate between husband of the year contenders from garden-variety romantic ones, at least in the initial screening process. <\/span>\n

      \n \t
    1. Someone who doesn\u2019t refer to his contribution to <\/span>parenting<\/span><\/a> as \u201cbabysitting\u201d his progeny. <\/span><\/li>\n \t
    2. Someone who, as a grown-ass adult, is capable of feeding himself, and doesn\u2019t believe his wife and mother had a secret handshake deal, prior to marriage, over his dietary choices (looking at you, Abhishek Bachchan). <\/span><\/li>\n \t
    3. Someone who doesn\u2019t refer to his current\/future domestic partner as \u201cwife material\u201d. Unless there is some kind of super exclusive, ultra soft velvet that is called wife material, in which case, an argument can be made for referring to the entire female species as wife material. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n

      And how does adjusting your wife\u2019s pallu make for a viral video? How low have we set the bar?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nOn a side note, while Ranveer can now twirl his admittedly impressive handlebar <\/span>moustache<\/span><\/a> and puff his chest in pride over his new title, Deepika, the recipient of magnanimous gestures such as whispers and air kisses from her groom, too has been honoured with a charming sobriquet \u2014 bhabhiji. Because the sindoor as long as a meatball sub was not enough to assert Ranveer\u2019s contribution to her identity, it had to be helped along by <\/span>bhabhiji<\/span><\/a>. Perfect. <\/span>\n\nWhat more can a woman want, really?<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      It\u2019s been only two weeks but we\u2019ve already declared Ranveer Singh the husband of the year\/decade\/century\/millennium. Why exactly? For helping his wife navigate the pallu of her sari at their wedding reception? Or blowing kisses to her in public?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":306,"featured_media":3748,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3114],"tags":[4036,1281,6756,944,1147,228,3410,952],"class_list":["post-3747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bollywood","tag-celebrity","tag-deepika-padukone","tag-deepveer","tag-husband","tag-ranveer-singh","tag-relationship","tag-wedding","tag-wife"],"yoast_head":"\nHow Low is the Bar Set That Ranveer Singh Gets Labelled Husband of the Century?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s been only two weeks but we\u2019ve already declared Ranveer Singh the husband of the year\/decade\/century\/millennium. Why exactly? For helping his wife navigate the pallu of her sari at their wedding reception? 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