{"id":3491,"date":"2016-06-02T07:15:03","date_gmt":"2016-06-02T01:45:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3491"},"modified":"2016-06-02T07:15:03","modified_gmt":"2016-06-02T01:45:03","slug":"feminism-update-me-too-nuance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3491","title":{"rendered":"The Decline of \u201cAunty Feminists\u201d: Why Feminism Needs an Update in a Post-Me Too World"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

W<\/span><\/p>ell, fuck, Indian women. What a strange, neurotic, upsetting, exhilarating month we\u2019ve had.<\/span>\n\nOver the past three weeks \u2013 ever since <\/span>Christine Blasey Ford\u2019s<\/span><\/a> US Senate hearing and <\/span>Tanushree Dutta\u2019s<\/span><\/a> allegations against Nana Patekar \u2013 I\u2019ve experienced more emotions than can be expressed through the navarasas. What\u2019s the Sanskrit word for \u201ctriggered\u201d, for instance? Where\u2019s \u201cconfusion\u201d?<\/span>\n\nBut more than anything, there\u2019s been \u201craudra\u201d \u2013 anger \u2013 spinning out like a tentacled monster. At every new <\/span>#MeToo<\/span><\/a> account from every industry, from advertising to art to corporate India, my female <\/span>colleagues<\/span><\/a> and I have screamed at our laptops, thrashing about like injured elephants. Some of the men who have been exposed, have been men we\u2019ve known at a close range, which has made us want to buy flamethrowers. (We haven\u2019t yet, but that doesn\u2019t mean the urge to set fire to the world has passed.)<\/span>\n\nBut this is good, this cathartic blowing of the lid of collective pent-up <\/span>aggression<\/span><\/a>. This is necessary, for it has allowed our rage to flow. Now that the shock is over, hopefully, we will walk into this post-MeToo world with a deeper, sharper understanding of the work that lies ahead. <\/span>\n\nIn an <\/span>essay<\/span><\/a> titled \u201cOne Year of #MeToo: What Women\u2019s Speech Is Still Not Allowed to Do\u201d, Jia Tolentino draws out the difference between the #MeToo \u201cmoment\u201d and \u201cmovement\u201d: One is a spontaneous but finite maelstrom of rage and grief, similar to the kind we are experiencing in India right now, and the other implies a progression, a continuum. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nOur time for settling into a continuum has arrived. <\/span>\n\nWith journalists like Priya Ramani and Meenal Baghel who took on the task of bringing men like union minister <\/span>MJ Akbar<\/span><\/a> down, the lines between the genders have never been more tightly drawn. We will be forced to confront, question, and debate what should and should not be part of the #MeToo movement and we will introduce some much-needed nuance into what has \u2013 up until now \u2013 just been raw, visceral rage. <\/span>\n

As someone who was so cockily assured of her feminism, I\u2019ve had my own notions examined in the last exceptional few weeks.<\/blockquote>\nAs the slew of allegations against famous and not-so-famous men started appearing, I\u2019ve found myself questioning whether some of them deserve to be yoked to <\/span>#MeToo<\/span><\/a>. In WhatsApp groups comprising older women friends, I\u2019ve asked, \u201cIs this also harassment?\u201d or \u201cHow do you casually sext without objectifying a person you\u2019ve never met and have no intention of meeting?\u201d or \u201cBut yaar, equating a bad date with actual assault dilutes the movement.\u201d<\/span>\n\nBut this, I\u2019ve been told in very firm tones, is \u201caunty <\/span>feminist<\/span><\/a>\u201d behaviour, a term I learnt last year, when Raya Sarkar compiled an anonymous list of <\/span>sexual harassers<\/span><\/a> in academia, causing a rift between women who took exception to the list for unsubstantiated allegations, and those who\u2019d had enough of the broken \u201cdue process\u201d. Having come to adulthood in a time when feminism still meant arguing with your mother to stay out late and choosing to remain unmarried and asserting your right to make unconventional career choices, I\u2019ve internalised behaviours that sparkling young women around me are refusing to accept. In the process, my <\/span>feminism<\/span><\/a> has proven in severe need of a software update. The world around us changed in the blink of an eye. I looked away for one second and the ground beneath my feet had shifted. <\/span>\n\nAs someone who was so cockily assured of her feminism, I\u2019ve had my own notions examined in the last exceptional few weeks. I\u2019ve got an education in the entire gamut of terrible male behaviour, and my hobbyhorse \u2013 \u201cWe must introduce nuance into this debate\u201d \u2013 has been invalidated. The definition of what is admissible and what men can get away with, has changed. Perhaps forever. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nAunty feminists are pitched against \u201cmillennial\u201d feminists, women who will settle for nothing less than holding men to account for every kind of painful behaviour. Amanda Petrusich writes in a <\/span>New Yorker essay<\/span><\/a>, about this same generational divide that sprang up in the wake of America\u2019s #MeToo moment \u2013 <\/span>millennial<\/span><\/a> feminists with their \u201charsh, zero-tolerance policy toward uncomfortable behaviour of any sort,\u201d versus older women who \u201csupport a more pliable and supposedly forgiving philosophy, which better takes into account the inherent messiness of sexual negotiations.\u201d Petrusich writes that the divide itself is a kind of Catch-22 situation, because after all, we\u2019re all on the same side. How we respond to sexual abuse and terrible behaviour and what retributive <\/span>justice<\/span><\/a> means to individuals, is eventually less important than the argument that abuse should not take place at all. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nWhat next, though? Now that we\u2019ve examined male behaviour across the spectrum of awfulness, where do we go from here? This is a question I\u2019ve parroted to myself and my women friends over and over. We\u2019ve swung between sheer euphoria and a cynicism-stained hopelessness. <\/span>\n\nOn one side are the after-effects of the outing, where I see women witnessing the unfair blowback from the messes that the men in their lives have created \u2013 comedian Mallika Dua, for instance, taking the flak for the charges levelled against her father, journalist Vinod Dua. And then the most important, sobering question of whether the momentum of <\/span>#MeToo<\/span><\/a> can be sustained at all. <\/span>\n
Maybe the individual cases will come to justice \u2013 maybe they won\u2019t. But one thing is clear: #MeToo will have knocked hard at the hinges of the door of patriarchy.<\/blockquote>\nTolentino introduced the phrase \u201cdelusive optimism\u201d in her essay. That\u2019s the phase we are currently in \u2013 a kind of delusive optimism about how far this juggernaut will go. None of us knew two weeks ago that when a comedian who sends unsolicited dick pics to women was outed on a Twitter thread, it would lead to the resignation of a union minister. What women\u2019s rage and speech is capable of, we are unable to fully comprehend yet. <\/span>\n\nMaybe our #MeToo moment has already achieved its purpose: It has allowed <\/span>women<\/span><\/a> everywhere to scream into the void and have a public catharsis, to register their presence, and have someone acknowledge it, and briefly, feel like their stories are important too. Maybe that\u2019s enough for some of us, for now. <\/span>\n\nMaybe the individual cases will come to justice \u2013 maybe they won\u2019t. But one thing is clear: #MeToo will have knocked hard at the hinges of the door of <\/span>patriarchy<\/span><\/a>. It\u2019s sent the men around me into an introspective silence \u2013 at least the bright ones; the mansplainers are still out there, insistent on public handwringing, virtue-signalling in the worst way possible by starting Twitter threads and FB discussions that are best described as a massacre of air. <\/span>\n\nAt the very least, we will all come out of this with a better understanding of what is and isn\u2019t acceptable to us. It will have us thinking about solutions, no matter how broken, makeshift, temporary, or mitigating they might be. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nSo if one minister is forced to resign; if one HR manager in one organisation is able to put their foot down and refuse to hire someone with a problematic history of sexual harassment; if one director crashes at the box office as a result of the allegations against him; if one dude steps up to stop his male friend\u2019s douchebaggery, we\u2019ll have achieved something. <\/span>\n\nWe\u2019ll have pushed the needle. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The rage-fuelled few weeks of India\u2019s #MeToo moment, are the cathartic blowing of the lid of collective pent-up aggression. Now that we\u2019ve examined male behaviour across the spectrum of awfulness, where do we go from here?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":3492,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[170],"tags":[2588,710,6105,1617,803,735],"class_list":["post-3491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender","tag-metoo","tag-feminism","tag-future","tag-sexual-abuse","tag-sexual-harassment","tag-women"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Decline of \u201cAunty Feminists\u201d: Why Feminism Needs an Update in a Post-Me Too World<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The rage-fuelled few weeks of India\u2019s #MeToo moment, are the cathartic blowing of the lid of collective pent-up aggression. 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