{"id":3440,"date":"2016-07-09T09:45:05","date_gmt":"2016-07-09T04:15:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3440"},"modified":"2016-07-09T09:45:05","modified_gmt":"2016-07-09T04:15:05","slug":"nice-guys-stop-congratulating-yourself-for-not-being-harassers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3440","title":{"rendered":"Dear Nice Guys, Stop Congratulating Yourself for Not Being Harassers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I<\/span><\/p>f you\u2019re a man who has never pawed, groped, or <\/span>assaulted<\/span><\/a> a woman, you are normal. Not good, not great. This is how normal people behave. Stop congratulating yourself. <\/span>\n\nAre you feeling distressed that I took away your badge of honour? Don\u2019t start fretting yet. I do get it, these days it\u2019s easier to <\/span>harass<\/span><\/a> a woman than getting your <\/span>Aadhaar card<\/span><\/a> updated. All you need is a phone with a camera, a dick waiting to spring out of captivity, and heavy breathing. In this age of more than 13 ways to send an instant message and social networks teeming with hot girls talking openly about <\/span>periods<\/span><\/a> and their sexuality, finding an \u201cobject\u201d of your affection is a cakewalk. You don\u2019t even need to be in <\/span>love<\/span><\/a> with the girl. It doesn\u2019t matter that you are not even friends with her. You only live once, so why waste time in getting to know her and then find out she is just not into you. Just say, hi hottie, I wanna see your tits. If she responds with an ugh, send her a close-up shot of your little boy waiting for action since Big Bang. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nIt wasn\u2019t always like this. Before the age of mobile phones, men eager for friendship had to whistle, catcall, board buses to rub themselves against women foolish enough to step out of their houses \u2013 only to get jabbed by safety pins. Some poor souls eager to take harassment to the next level had to look for empty stretches and then wait behind a dilapidated wall for hours for any goddamn woman to show up. The timing was of the essence. Just as she was about to cross the wall, they had to jump at her, flash their <\/span>ugly penis<\/span><\/a>, say something nasty, try to grab her, and voila, they had managed to traumatise yet another girl for life.<\/span>\n\nBut how tough is it not be an asshole? All you have to do is keep your hands to yourself.<\/span>\n\nFor too long we have set the bar too low for your behaviour. You of course had the support of our society that wasted no time in pinning the blame on us women for your disgusting perversions. Often excuses were made for your innate talent for reducing us to a pair of <\/span>boobs and ass<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>\n

Begin by committing to memory, the following commandments: Thou shalt listen to a woman when she tells you she has been harassed, abused, objectified, made to feel uncomfortable.<\/blockquote>\nNo wonder the \u201cnormal types\u201d who still treat women with respect and are receptive to her emotional needs, had started walking like they have a halo around their head, and expected to be rewarded for what should be <\/span>the norm. <\/span><\/i>\n\nNot anymore. Especially when we women are setting the bar for human behaviour at its rightful place. <\/span>\n\nLet\u2019s make this very clear. You are not doing any woman a favour by being the nice guy. And if you are you using niceness as a front to get into her pants, you are not just despicable but a hypocrite as well. <\/span>\n\nIf you are eager for the great guy tag, you will have to do much more than look the other way when you see any woman getting molested and humiliated by a man eager to show her the rightful place. It can be your <\/span>workplace<\/span><\/a>, the mall, a packed concert hall. <\/span>\n\nBegin by committing to memory, the following commandments: Thou shalt <\/span>listen<\/span><\/i> to a woman when she tells you she has been harassed, abused, objectified, made to feel uncomfortable. Thou shalt act if you see a man touch a woman inappropriately. Thou shalt keep a safe distance from whataboutery when she\u2019s sharing instances of how unsafe our cities and towns are for women. Thou shalt ask your <\/span>WhatsApp dudebros<\/span><\/a> to shut the fuck up when they compare a woman\u2019s breasts to boondi ke laddoo. Thou shalt vomit on the colleague fixating on a junior\u2019s tight ass and what she will be like under the sheets. When you do all of this, the halo of greatness will reignite on its own. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nThe alpha male doesn\u2019t take the refuge of <\/span>misogyny<\/span><\/a> to validate his masculinity. Rather he gives it a firm kick in the butt.<\/span>\n\nThe fight for equity, against harassment in public spaces and private ones, and justice for women who bring <\/span>toxic men<\/span><\/a> to task is as much yours as it is hers. <\/span>Feminism<\/span><\/a> is gender neutral. It belongs to both men and women.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you think you are a \u201cnice guy\u201d who doesn\u2019t harass women, please stop behaving like you have a halo around your head. And if you are eager for the great guy tag, you will have to do much more than look the other way when you see any woman getting molested and humiliated.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":3441,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[170],"tags":[2588,2402,1771,1617,6570,6571,2691,735],"class_list":["post-3440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender","tag-metoo","tag-men","tag-nice-guys","tag-sexual-abuse","tag-sexual-abuse-victims","tag-sexual-abusers","tag-sexual-harassers","tag-women"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Nice Guys, Stop Congratulating Yourself for Not Being Harassers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you think you are a \u201cnice guy\u201d who doesn\u2019t harass women, please stop behaving like you have a halo around your head. 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And if you are eager for the great guy tag, you will have to do much more than look the other way when you see any woman getting molested and humiliated.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3440\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-09T04:15:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1539003501.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Purba Ray\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Dear Nice Guys, Stop Congratulating Yourself for Not Being Harassers\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"If you think you are a \u201cnice guy\u201d who doesn\u2019t harass women, please stop behaving like you have a halo around your head. 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