{"id":3432,"date":"2016-03-09T10:19:03","date_gmt":"2016-03-09T04:49:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3432"},"modified":"2016-03-09T10:19:03","modified_gmt":"2016-03-09T04:49:03","slug":"loveyatri-review-salman-khan-ayush-sharma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3432","title":{"rendered":"LoveYatri Review: Where Logic Goes to Play Garba"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A<\/span>fter inflicting <\/p>Race 3<\/span><\/i> <\/a>on us, Salman Khan is Being Inhuman by continuing the torture, this time by launching his brother-in-law Aayush Sharma as an \u201cactor\u201d in Abhiraj Minawala\u2019s <\/span>LoveYatri<\/span><\/i>. A film that is so unaware of its dangerously low IQ \u2013 stuck somewhere between underground and below sea level \u2013 that it believes calling its male lead \u201cSusu\u201d is the funniest thing in the world. It is even funnier than Sharma\u2019s stiff face, that seems like it\u2019s gone on a protest against itself. <\/span>LoveYatri<\/span><\/i> only breaks new ground everytime Sharma is on screen, because he determinedly redefines the definition of expressionless. <\/span>\n\nThe plot is pedestrian: Susu, a man whose ultimate aim is to open a garba academy, spots Michelle\/Manisha (Warisa Hussain aka collateral damage), a wealthy Londoner during Navratri and promptly falls in love with her. What follows is a close shot of Sharma falling on the ground with a thud. Yet for some reason, sticks and stones don\u2019t break his soul and he can\u2019t stop smiling. Forget the non-existent logic of this move, I\u2019m not even sure that Sharma is in control of his own facial muscles at this point. Moreover, the film parades his lack of ambition as the greatest virtue ever, as if garba is the answer to global warming and <\/span>#MeToo<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>\n\nGarba Boy from Vadodara obviously has wingmen who are called Rocket and Negative, because that\u2019s totally the most accurate portrayal of how families in Gujarat name their kids. Urged on by his goofy uncle, a garba singer (Ram Kapoor) and his buddies, Susu gets Michelle to fall in love with him by dancing with her for nine days. Nau din, ladki in, basically. It makes as much sense as Sharma pretending to be an actor. I mean, at best, he can pass off as an <\/span>Instagram<\/span><\/a> influencer. <\/span>\n\nTrouble brews between them when Michelle\u2019s stomach revolts against Vadodara\u2019s culinary fare and she gets upset with Susu\u2019s brand of romance. Susu, who is incapable of understanding anything unless it\u2019s conveyed in garba, also accuses Michelle of being needlessly overeducated and proceeds to harass her. Clearly, Susu has valid concerns. Thankfully for the girl, her arrogant father (Ronit Roy) doesn\u2019t approve of Susu either \u2013 because he is poor \u2013 and she flies back to London. And does the most NRI Indian thing ever: date a British guy.<\/span>\n

But ultimately, it is a film so excruciatingly awful that it makes the three-hour shitfest that is Race 3 look inoffensive.<\/blockquote>\nBut homeboy Susu doesn\u2019t lose heart. Like a true free-spirited man, he refuses to understand what a \u201cNo\u201d really means and takes the rejection as a challenge. So he lands up in London and ends up achieving what British Boy can never give Michelle: A garba performance on London Bridge. Before you roll your eyes, allow me to present this great nugget of romantic wisdom from the film: <\/span>\u201c<\/span>Love<\/span><\/a> is like a SIM card. Whether the phone is expensive or cheap, the SIM remains the same\u201d. Mind = Blown <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\n\nAt one point, just when Susu is about to give up his quest to manipulate a disinterested woman into loving him, his uncle comes to his rescue. He gives him examples of Bollywood\u2019s great lovers \u2013 Salman Khan from <\/span>Tere Naam<\/span><\/i>, Aamir Khan from <\/span>Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak<\/span><\/i>, and SRK from <\/span>Veer Zaara<\/span><\/i> \u2013 to motivate him to not give up on his love. I was eagerly waiting for Susu to be taken to a mental facility al\u00e0 Salman Khan in <\/span>Tere Naam<\/span><\/i>, except that never happens. <\/span>\n\nInstead, he ends up wooing Michelle with a moving speech about garba being the inspiration for all dance forms. This goes on for more than two hours. At this point, I hope we can all unite and guarantee that the next time Salman Khan wants to launch his sister\u2019s daughter\u2019s dog\u2019s toy, he is forced to pay a hefty fine first. Even though, by bankrolling <\/span>LoveYatri<\/span><\/i>, Bhai is at least creating more jobs than Modiji. <\/span>\n\nBut ultimately, it is a film so excruciatingly awful that it makes the three-hour shitfest that is <\/span>Race 3<\/span><\/i> look inoffensive. Perhaps this was <\/span>Bhai\u2019s <\/span><\/a>plan all along? Who knows? Everything could have been planned.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Barely three months after Race 3, Salman Khan has bankrolled another nightmare, by introducing his brother-in-law Aayush Sharma in the hope that he\u2019ll pass off as an actor. If this is not Being Inhuman, we don\u2019t know what is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":103,"featured_media":3433,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bollywood"],"yoast_head":"\nLoveYatri Review: Where Logic Goes to Play Garba<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Barely three months after Race 3, Salman Khan has bankrolled another nightmare, by introducing his brother-in-law Aayush Sharma in the hope that he\u2019ll pass off as an actor. 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