{"id":3219,"date":"2016-03-29T19:51:51","date_gmt":"2016-03-29T14:21:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3219"},"modified":"2016-03-29T19:51:51","modified_gmt":"2016-03-29T14:21:51","slug":"dont-cut-your-nails-at-night-and-other-fakenews-all-indian-parents-teach-their-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=3219","title":{"rendered":"\u201cDon\u2019t Cut Your Nails at Night\u201d and Other #FakeNews All Indian Parents Teach Their Children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

B<\/span><\/p><\/div>

ack in the fifth grade, an idol of mine (Tom, from <\/span>Tom and Jerry<\/span><\/i><\/a>) had gotten himself out of a very sticky situation involving an angry bulldog by whistling a nonchalant tune at the opportune moment. For the next few months, it became a dream of mine to perfect this art form, so I too could innocently whistle as I made my escape from <\/span>school<\/span><\/a>. This piece of news \u2013 and my first to tenth practice sessions \u2013 did not particularly please my parents, who were desperate to find a way to make their 10-year-old shut up for a couple of seconds. So my mother told me whistling makes your lose your voice by the age of 20. <\/span>\n\nFor those of you who work in the <\/span>BJP IT cell<\/span><\/a>, it\u2019s important to note that this bit of information is #FakeNews. But as a kid, the thought of losing my voice permanently scared me enough to give up my dreams of becoming the World Whistling Champion. It also concerned me enough to approach random kids in my class (serial whistlers, all of them) and warn them about the consequences of what they were doing.<\/span>\n\nThe saddest part of the story is that almost every kid believed me. You see, every single one had been fed another equally vague \u201cfact\u201d about their habits by their parents. It turns out <\/span>Indian parents<\/span><\/a> lie a lot to get their way, and because kids are stupid and impressionable, they tend to believe everything they hear.<\/span>\n\nThe <\/span>shortest person<\/span><\/a> I\u2019ve ever met believed to the age of 20 that they got this way because a cousin jumped over their legs once \u2013 and also presumably that genes are made of denim. A few were told swinging your legs on a swing would diminish brain power. Other <\/span>pure-veg types<\/span><\/a> were told even a single a bite of fish can give you mercury poisoning. <\/span>\n\nMost of these lies are based on some harmless superstition, others are just made up on the spot for pure convenience. But none that a few Biology classes won\u2019t handle. Unfortunately the lies didn\u2019t stop there. India is the kind of country where <\/span>automated SMSs<\/span><\/a> promise to help you get rich instantly, and marrying a tree is considered good for your love life. So obviously, whatever baba, priest, imam, or non-religious <\/span>prime-time spiritual life advisor <\/span><\/a>was in vogue at the time of your upbringing, has probably had an influence on your life. <\/span>\n\n

“If you sweep the floors in the evening, Laxmi leaves your house, and you will be destitute, but, hey, you can\u2019t put a price on a clean floor”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\nSo you end up in situations where the guy who lives in your lane, and kind of looks like a holy man, tells your parents that eating meat causes immense gastric reflux, so you eat <\/span>Maggi<\/span><\/a> instead. Or you hear your dad say the words, \u201cI\u2019ve met a baba today,\u201d and then find yourself wearing a fake ruby on your fingers for the family fortune. Meanwhile, if you sweep the floors in the evening, Laxmi leaves your house, and you will be destitute, but, hey, you can\u2019t put a price on a clean floor.<\/span>\n\nAnd we, as kids, believed all of these alt-facts because we had to. Screw what they say in school, you can\u2019t disrespect elderly <\/span>holy men<\/span><\/a>. So now it\u2019s perfectly normal to walk into a room full of rational adults and hear the words, \u201cI don\u2019t eat <\/span>that <\/span><\/i>on Tuesdays because it\u2019s the day we pray to Hanuman.\u201d Now you might think something along the lines of, \u201cNice, Hanuman follows the Roman calendar,\u201d but, instead, with your very liberal mouth, you will say, \u201cOkay\u201d.<\/span>\n\nThe same white lies we were fed when we were younger, tend to turn into our not-to-fucked-with beliefs and routines, which will be argued as fact over a number of drinks. How do we, as presumably rational, educated, thinking young adults, continue to swallow these alt-facts? When we debate trolls or argue with those who glorify jauhar on the internet, why does it never occur to us to actually, cut your nails at night or shampoo your hair on Thursday? Why don\u2019t we extend our rational outlook to these small factoids? \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nWell, if it does turn out that wearing 12 rings on 10 fingers increases the chance that your gastritis is cured, then by all means, everyone with gastritis should go ahead and spend half their salaries on that. I\u2019m sure the baba who suggested this wonder cure totally doesn\u2019t have a ring shop, or anything to gain out of this. <\/span>\n\nBut these days \u2013 online at least \u2013 people care more about emotions. A fact is a fact only until it offends someone else\u2019s fact. It\u2019s important to bring our \u201cquestioning\u201d attitude home. Because white lies matter.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a child, were you told that whistling would lead to you losing your voice? Or that if someone hopped across your legs, you\u2019d remain short? Our parents filled our heads with all sorts of vague \u201cfacts\u201d, which we don\u2019t question even after we grow up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":3220,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[4342,6265,6266,1003,6267,6268,6269,3430,6270,6271,6272,1726,6273,6274,520,6275,4668],"class_list":["post-3219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family","tag-adults","tag-alt-facts","tag-be","tag-children","tag-everything","tag-fake","tag-impact","tag-indian","tag-liars","tag-lying","tag-minds","tag-parents","tag-question","tag-rational","tag-religion","tag-superstition","tag-young"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cDon\u2019t Cut Your Nails at Night\u201d and Other #FakeNews All Indian Parents Teach Their Children<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As a child, were you told that whistling would lead to you losing your voice? 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