{"id":2913,"date":"2016-03-10T14:28:38","date_gmt":"2016-03-10T08:58:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=2913"},"modified":"2026-07-17T20:17:38","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T14:47:38","slug":"footballers-world-2018-russia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2913","title":{"rendered":"Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who is the Hottest Footballer of Them All?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

L<\/span><\/p><\/div>

adies and gentlemen, we\u2019re down to the wire. Judgement day is right around the corner. Yes, we\u2019re talking about the 2018 FIFA World Cup<\/a>, or, as we like to think of it, the greatest global thirst fest to happen once every four years.\n\nDuring the World Cup, it doesn\u2019t matter whether you\u2019re a rabid club football supporter or not, you\u2019re still allowed, nay, encouraged, to enjoy the 90 minutes of every match. Isn\u2019t that why they call it the beautiful game? After all, the only thing better than watching good-looking men running around in body-hugging jerseys, is watching them take off those jerseys.\n\nBecause, for the victims of thirst trap among us, this is basically a quadrennial Miss World<\/a> pageant for dudes. The fittest and finest fellas from around the world compete for the Cup and the highly susceptible hearts of footy fans.\n\nTo ensure complete fairness, we\u2019ve gone ahead and ranked all of them on the basis of the three most important skills required in football: Have they got the game, heart, and the hot bod to be the ultimate Man of the Snatch? Here\u2019s our round-up of the seven footballers who have shouldered the most important responsibility<\/a> of all: soothing our sad, lonely souls, both on the pitch and off of it.\n\nCheers to Chadli<\/b>\n\n\"nacer\n\nNacer? More like \u201cYes sir!\u201d For this hunk of Belgian<\/a> chocolate isn\u2019t just a pretty face on a Greek God bod. It was this rockin\u2019 man of Moroccan descent who cemented Belgium\u2019s place in the quarters by coming off the bench to score a dashing penalty against Japan in the 94th minute. What\u2019s not to love about a guy who can perform under pressure? And now, he\u2019s more than ready<\/a> to face France after showing Brazil<\/a> who\u2019s boss. Maybe someday, he\u2019ll show us too.\n\nBecker Than Sex<\/b>\n\n\"becker\"\n\nBrazilian goalkeeper Alisson Becker (goodbye, you precious sunflower!) is often overshadowed by his team\u2019s flashier forwards. While prettyboy Neymar<\/a> knows how to work the floor, the spotlight really belongs to Becker, our samba saviour. Besides his Hemsworth-y good looks and stunning saves, Becker is making headlines for his adorable tribute<\/a> to his big brother before the World Cup began. No wonder top clubs like Chelsea, Liverpool, and Roma are falling over themselves as they fight for this gorgeous goalie to spare them a glance. If we were in the stands, we\u2019d be doing it too.\n\nDying For Dier<\/b>\n\nOnce upon a time, 24-year-old Eric Dier was just a humble substitute, until he managed to score a nail-biting penalty against Colombia that would lead England<\/a> into the quarterfinals, and right into our hearts. Never before has England won with a shootout in the World Cup, and clearly, this heroic Hotspur\u2019s abs are no match for his nerves of steel. With his fairytale ascent<\/a> from the bench to the big leagues, Dier is the Prince Charming we need to lead the charge as England prepares to face the ogre of Croatia.\n\nGrand Larsson-y<\/b>\n\n\"sebastian\"\n\nSomeone call the police, because Swedish midfielder Sebastian Larsson has stolen our hearts! Playing his 100th match for Sweden<\/a> before the World Cup began, this veteran still gives us butterflies in the stomach, proving that old is definitely gold. Before the quarterfinals, the suave Swede insisted that he would give England a proper fight<\/a>, and even though his team lost, we hope this chiselled blond God makes good on his promise very soon. Whether it\u2019s on the pitch or doing a cameo in the next Thor<\/i> film, all we want is to see more of Larsson.\n\nDon\u2019t Be Gi-Rude<\/b>\n\nWhile juicy Olivier Giroud is yet to score a goal so far this World Cup, he\u2019s scored countless brownie points for his flawless beard and winning smile. But don\u2019t be fooled; Olivier is no common fuckboi. You can always count on this stalwart French forward to be right behind you. Giroud carries his teammates on his broad shoulders, as he quietly sets up the goals that have bolstered France into the semis. As France and Belgium face off, we can\u2019t decide who to root for. Because when FIFA\u2019s ultimate chocolate boys clash, everyone\u2019s a winner.\n\nCrave Some Cavani<\/b>\n\nUruguay\u2019s star striker is a tall, dark, and handsome drink of water in a parched South American landscape. The PSG player has scored three thrilling goals this Cup, leading to triumphs over both Russia and Portugal. Although Uruguay has bowed out of the World Cup, Cavani is leaving with his head held high and his luscious locks waving gently in the breeze. When he can slide into our DMs as easily as he slides into the goal, what does this foxy forward have to be mad about? We\u2019re ever ready to welcome him back to the pitch with open arms.\n\nLoving Lovren<\/b>\n\n\"louvren\"\n\nCroatia has been in stunning form this World Cup, and defender Dejan Lovren is no exception. After all, he helped underdogs Liverpool<\/a> to the Champions League final, and now, the dashing Dejan is sallying forth to prove his mettle<\/a> once more. His strong jaw and steely gaze are sure to strike fear into the hearts of any who would dare invade his goal. Meanwhile, the rest of us will need to have a nice, quiet lie-down to recover.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The FIFA World Cup is a quadrennial Miss World pageant for dudes. To ensure complete fairness, we\u2019ve ranked all the players on the basis of the three most important skills required in football: Have they got the game, heart, and the hot bod to be the ultimate Man of the Snatch?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":208,"featured_media":2919,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[394],"tags":[5809,5504,396,5810,3213,1307,5811,2018,1910],"class_list":["post-2913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports","tag-chadli","tag-fifa","tag-football","tag-nacer","tag-portugal","tag-russia","tag-sebastia","tag-shehenshah","tag-spain"],"yoast_head":"\nMirror Mirror on the Wall, Who is the Hottest Footballer of Them All?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The FIFA World Cup is a quadrennial Miss World pageant for dudes. 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To ensure complete fairness, we\u2019ve ranked all the players on the basis of the three most important skills required in football: Have they got the game, heart, and the hot bod to be the ultimate Man of the Snatch?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=2913\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-03-10T08:58:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-07-17T14:47:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1531133311.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kahini Iyer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who is the Hottest Footballer of Them All?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"The FIFA World Cup is a quadrennial Miss World pageant for dudes. 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