{"id":2775,"date":"2016-07-06T08:30:27","date_gmt":"2016-07-06T03:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=2775"},"modified":"2016-07-06T08:30:27","modified_gmt":"2016-07-06T03:00:27","slug":"tinder-hinge-online-dating-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2775","title":{"rendered":"Truth and Dare: What Happens When You Stop Faking It on Tinder"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I<\/span><\/p><\/div>

use Tinder like I watch Bigg Boss<\/i><\/a>:<\/i> I lay off it for a while before eventually (and repeatedly), giving in to my insatiable need for cheap entertainment. And no, the saddest thing about this isn\u2019t my stubborn singlehood, or the one match who thought \u201csend bobs or i nuke vilage\u201d was a good opening line. It\u2019s the realisation that, in the big, bad world of online dating, honesty<\/a> is rarely the best policy.\n\nMy complete disenchantment with Tinder<\/a> and Hinge isn\u2019t rooted in a depressing lack of matches. Rather, my inability to transform into the proverbial, modern Tinderella can be blamed on the fact that everyone on dating apps, including me, is fundamentally dishonest. My DP is a meme<\/a>, followed by carefully chosen photos of myself. You know, not too much cleavage, because sanskar, but just enough to get me laid if I feel like it. Conversations usually involve me complaining about \u201cmainstream music\u201d while listening to Taylor Swift on full volume. The fact that my idea of romance is a large pizza for one is hidden behind a perfectly designed girl, who sometimes looks like me.\n\nAbout a week into my tryst with Tinder, I realised I wasn\u2019t any better than the fuckbois \u2013 the internet defines them as dishonest \u201cman-whores\u201d \u2013 I complain about: I just replaced lazy sex with lazy entertainment. Maybe the reason online dating<\/a> had failed me, was me. So I decided to do the unthinkable, and be myself, the person whom my friends know and sometimes struggle to love.\n\nYup, truly, madly, brutally me. Hopefully, that would lead to a real conversation and maybe even a connection.\n\nI started off by giving my friends control over my bio, and watched as they tore my meticulously manicured profile to shreds. The meme DP was immediately replaced with a photo of me trying to hug a very angry-looking cat. Thankfully, my friends did leave some half decent fake-candids of me. My bio turned into the love child of Grey\u2019s Anatomy <\/i>and KRK\u2019s Twitter. Nuggets like \u201cPick me, choose me, don\u2019t love me because I\u2019ll question your choices,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll probably can on you last minute,\u201d \u201cI battle humour with feminism<\/a>,\u201d and an extremely accurate, \u201cThe only thing lower than my standards are my expectations.\u201d\n\n

His reactions varied from thinly veiled right- swipe regret to compliments about my \u201cboldness\u201d. I found the latter almost sweet until he asked me if the same boldness translated into the bedroom.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nAll I had to do was translate this new-found honesty into real conversations. Easier said than done.\n\nBeing honest on a dating app is like sitting down<\/a> for the national anthem in the cinema hall: No one expects it, and when they see it for the first time, they usually lose their shit. One of the first \u201chonest\u201d interactions I had was with a fuckboi in disguise \u2013 his bio told me that he \u201cvalued emotions over sex\u201d and that he was \u201cthere to first make friends\u201d. For five whole seconds, I thought that I\u2019d unlocked Tinder Gold for free.\n\nI resisted my urge to impress, instead dropping truth bombs like, \u201cMy ideal date involves me not having to shave my legs.\u201d His reactions varied from thinly veiled right- swipe regret to compliments about my \u201cboldness\u201d. I found the latter almost sweet until he asked me if the same boldness translated into the bedroom. To him, my honesty, or as he liked to call it, \u201clack of effort\u201d meant that I was an easy lay and that he wouldn\u2019t have to waste his time playing nice before presumably ghosting me. In the spirit of honesty, I told him to go fuck himself because no one else was going to.\n\nA few other matches told me to \u201cbe more humble\u201d when I replied to compliments with, \u201cI know, right?\u201d instead of a coy, blushing emoji that begged for more. Most of them were self-proclaimed \u201cfeminists\u201d<\/a> who believed more resolutely in a woman\u2019s sanskar-approved coyness than in equality. Some sneered at my unabashed love for all things mainstream, promising to \u201ceducate\u201d me with multiple wink emojis. I told them that I could smell their condescension from a mile, and that even five cans of Axe wouldn\u2019t get them laid.\n\nAn outcome that I hadn\u2019t bargained for was that my thoughtless texting would bring about an unfortunate amount of honesty in almost all my matches. Maybe a bit of light flirting instead of defending the music of Taylor Swift, would have been nicer, but cutting through my own bullshit was a great way to reveal the fuckbois.\n\nNow, before you think of me as the \u201cman-hating feminist\u201d, not every conversation ended with the texting equivalent of a cage match. Some matches were pleasantly surprised at how unflattering everything about my bio was, which led me to believe that their standards were as low as \u201cOMG, I finally matched with a real person!\u201d Chats with them usually went beyond my boldness in the bedroom, the feminist ideals I so proudly espouse, and the cats who ignored me.\n\nIt took some trial and error, but I was finally having conversations that felt like actual exchanges, ones that I wanted to hold on to. All my hopefully witty replies came as naturally as morning breath and awkward sex, mixed perfectly with \u201cOnce Upon a Times\u201d that were better than fairy tales. From the comfort of my bedroom, clad in my rattiest pyjamas<\/a>, I almost felt like I was on a great date.\n\nWhile my honest and blunt approach might seem counterintuitive to my goal of meeting new people, forgoing the bullshit spared me from the special hell of forced small talk<\/a> with someone I had no chemistry with. Now I\u2019d love to say that my honest take on Tinder made UNESCO recognise me as the world\u2019s best swiper and gift me true love<\/a>. Or at least good sex.\n\nBut maybe fairy tales don\u2019t exist in a world where \u201cfuck\u201d is the prefix to a noun. What\u2019s certain is that you sow what you reap, and to get rid of the fuckbois, you have to banish your inner fuckgurl. Who knew telling the truth could lead to fun conversations, dates that don\u2019t end with murder, and smiles that last long past midnight?\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being honest on Tinder and Hinge is like sitting down for the national anthem in the cinema hall: No one expects it, and when they see it for the first time, they usually lose their shit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":255,"featured_media":2776,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[505,3562,224,427,1050,22,408,5627,1051],"class_list":["post-2775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-dating","tag-hinge","tag-love","tag-online","tag-online-dating","tag-relationships","tag-sex","tag-swiping","tag-tinder"],"yoast_head":"\nTruth and Dare: What Happens When You Stop Faking It on Tinder<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Being honest on Tinder and Hinge is like sitting down for the national anthem in the cinema hall: No one expects it, and when they see it for the first time, they usually lose 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