{"id":2756,"date":"2016-04-10T08:45:32","date_gmt":"2016-04-10T03:15:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=2756"},"modified":"2016-04-10T08:45:32","modified_gmt":"2016-04-10T03:15:32","slug":"betting-football-father-in-law-fifa-russia-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2756","title":{"rendered":"Suno Sasurjee: Scoring an Own Goal with My Father-in-Law Over FIFA"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

B<\/span><\/p><\/div>

eing newly married <\/a>has many hurdles, but none as difficult as bonding with your in-laws. I know the pressure of \u201cadjustment\u201d is focused on the new bahu who has to make do with her mother and father-in-law. But our new-age marriages cut sons-in-law no slack \u2013 which means new husbands like me have to make an equal effort with the wife\u2019s parents.\n\nIt was with this noble intention in mind that I decided to use FIFA <\/a>World Cup to bond with my father-in-law. Since he loves sport so much that he even watches golf, I thought this would be my best chance to earn a few brownie points. Football could fill the awkward silences \u2013 if not, there is always liquor.\n\n\u201cYour place or mine?\u201d I asked. Never thought I\u2019d use that pick-up line on a 60-year-old man. He said, \u201cGhar nahi. Club.\u201d\n\nTo me, a middle-class Marathi <\/a>manoos, the farthest you\u2019d go to watch football is a pub, but only during happy hours. I had driven past a few of these fabled \u201cclubs\u201d \u2013 Otters, MCG, Khar, and the most British of them all, Willingdon \u2013 but I\u2019d never seen the inside of even one. I couldn\u2019t afford to. My extent of access to a club is the Lions Club of Ghatkopar, so I had no idea what to expect.\n\nAlready a bit nervous, I was bursting with questions. Would there be a dress code? Did I have to learn banquet table cutlery <\/a>etiquette? Was I expected to tip everyone in a uniform? \u201cNo, no,\u201d he said, in a voice reserved only for a jamaai. Nothing says, \u201cYou\u2019re being silly,\u201d more than that voice.\n\nAs a commoner, I\u2019ve always wondered where in Mumbai I can go to have some private time. There is only the sea to stare at, and that too only if you can hold your breath for more than three minutes. But this was different. A club <\/a>is a whole new world, beyond the gates of which, privacy actually exists.\n\n

To my surprise, the middle-aged uncles here looked very invested in the game. And that\u2019s when I figured they actually were.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nIt wasn\u2019t quite what I\u2019d expected. There were no heavy imposing doors and judgmental glances. Instead, there were out-of-shape Indian men<\/a> and women doing things that require very little movement.\n\nThere were elders playing Housie. Housie! I had no clue people still played that, and for real money even. There was a bridge room, where old men shuffled and shifted cards. An outside area was breezy \u2013 I\u2019ve noticed the places rich people go to are always breezy, as if even nature is classist. As the judgmental Marathi <\/a>in me expected, the library was tiny and mostly had Sidney Sheldon. I mean, c\u2019mon, where were the Enid Blytons?\n\nBuoyed by the breeze, I ventured into the unknown. How much did this club membership cost, I wondered. \u201cDoesn\u2019t matter, it\u2019s closed,\u201d said my father-in-law. Of course. On further prodding, I figured it was in seven figures. No wonder these people were willing to lose real money at a hand of Bridge or a game of Housie<\/a>.\n\nFinally, we went to the TV room. It had a large TV<\/a>. A very, very large TV. How many inches does a TV screen need to be, before you just give up and buy a projector? I don\u2019t know, but the club management was clearly bent on stretching the limits. To my surprise, the middle-aged uncles here looked very invested in the game. And that\u2019s when I figured they actually were. They were betting. Harmless stuff of course, just a few thousands here and there. What could go wrong?\n\nMy father-in-law was good at betting and I was good at football. We seemed to be a lethal combo.\n\nSoon, it was opening ceremony time. As if to prove that only old people watch the FIFA <\/a>World Cup, Robbie Williams opened. He looked like he was in 1980 and his belly had never seen a pint of beer. Robbie Williams seemed to know he has only three hits and sang all three in quick succession. I don\u2019t know why I felt the need to hum them, but my father-in-law heard me and shot me another pointed look.\n\nLuckily, a Shakira lookalike appeared holding the official tournament ball. \u201cThat\u2019s the ball of this cup!\u201d I excitedly told my father-in-law<\/a>. He looked bemused, nodded and asked what that meant. And I realised how little it matters \u2013 the things we discuss animatedly in pubs \u2013 the ball\u2019s aerodynamics and the role it will play in team strategy seemed so futile when a Madu man looked at it. To him it was about the money. I was identifying with the fans in the stadium\u2019s cheap seats, while he was more in tune with Putin and the Saudi Arabian monarch in the VIP box.\n\nOf course, when he saw the two leaders together, my father-in-law interjected, \u201cNobody like Modi.\u201d Indeed, he was a Modi supporter<\/a>. Why was I surprised? Isn\u2019t every middle-aged Indian male one? While I was wondering whether I married into the right family, the starters arrived. Vegetarian. Sure. What else was going to happen in this one evening?\n\nWhen Russia <\/a>scored, unlike the pubs where I have watched matches, nobody shouted or cheered. They just made quiet notes into their notepads and got onto their phone. This was serious. \u201cThe odds have changed,\u201d I was told, in a slightly sombre tone.\n\nAfter Russia\u2019s first goal<\/a>, Putin and the Saudi king shook hands as if they had a small bet over a few billion dollars worth of oil over who\u2019d score first. Just like the men in the TV room, Putin and Co were also not seen celebrating. Yet after every goal, for some reason, the camera focused on their reactions. They definitely had some side thing going \u2013 an airline lost, an oil field perhaps, an entire club in Europe, who knows?\n\nRussia won, but my father-in-law also lost his bet. The drive back home <\/a>was a little quiet. One match done, one month to thaw.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The FIFA World Cup presented a golden opportunity to bond with my new father-in-law. Or so I thought. For the first time in my life, I watched a match at a geriatric club, in the company of vegetarian seekh kebabs and betting oldies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":2757,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family"],"yoast_head":"\nSuno Sasurjee: Scoring an Own Goal with My Father-in-Law Over FIFA<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The FIFA World Cup presented a golden opportunity to bond with my new father-in-law. Or so I thought. 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