{"id":2710,"date":"2016-03-25T15:25:39","date_gmt":"2016-03-25T09:55:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=2710"},"modified":"2016-03-25T15:25:39","modified_gmt":"2016-03-25T09:55:39","slug":"parents-home-moving-out-grown-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2710","title":{"rendered":"Why Moving Out of Your Parent\u2019s House is Overrated"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span>he unit a Mumbaikar measures their freedom in is BHK. B is for the parents, K is for the mother, and H is for everyone else. If you are insanely lucky (or loaded), it may be a 2BHK, and the second B is for you and your sibling, or granny, or any random aunt who is living with you. In a land where the Supreme Court recently declared that <\/p>privacy<\/a> was a fundamental right, growing up, we had shockingly little of it. Our homes were simply too small for such a big idea.\n\nWhich is why it\u2019s surprising that Indian kids aren\u2019t ready to bolt out of the door the second we turn 18. In fact, Indian kids don\u2019t move out of their parents\u2019 homes when it is painfully apparent that they are not kids anymore, but are rapidly approaching uncle\/aunty status<\/a>. You aren\u2019t supposed to leave home until you get married if you are a girl, and never if you are a guy. Moving out and getting your own space is just not a thing. If you even happen to suggest it, your parents will take it very personally. \u201cWhere are we going wrong?\u201d, \u201cKya tujhe freedom nahi hai?\u201d, \u201cKuch kami hai?\u201d\n\nThankfully, my mother<\/a> was only too glad to see the back of me. At 27, I didn\u2019t blame her. I was also thrilled to get out, tired as I was of answering the question \u201cGhar kab aaoge?\u201d I got myself an apartment \u2013 okay, a hole \u2013 in Bandra West<\/a>. Bandra West is where every young freedom-seeker goes to drain his or her bank account. I was paying \u20b920,000 for a studio that had 18 tiles on the floor, but hey, it was Bandra, so I was thrilled.\n\nIndependence, here I come. No deadlines, curfews, or rules<\/a>. This was a life in which I would be drinking rum in the day and ordering greasy rolls at night, walking around naked, and masturbating<\/a> in the living room (okay, there was only one room). Little did I know, moving out would be the most overrated thing in the world, second only to watching cricket in a stadium.\n\nThe gap between my expectations and reality was so wide, Sallu<\/a> could drive through at full speed without harming a fly. Life became about waiting for a plumber or electrician, paying rent, electricity bills, and Wi-Fi bills, waking up early to fill the water tank, showers without any pressure, keeping an eye on grocery, badly self-cooked food\u2026 the list goes on and on. Nothing about my life was what I\u2019d imagined it to be. The only chick I was happy to see come home was my maid<\/a>. I didn\u2019t do drugs, I did dishes, because she didn\u2019t come a lot of times.\n\nEverything that annoyed me about living with my parents felt so precious. I missed the calls to inquire where I was; nobody cared anymore. I missed being asked if I\u2019d have dinner; you stop being really hungry when you cook for yourself. I missed being asked what I\u2019d like for breakfast<\/a>; I was being served BMC water for 30 minutes for breakfast. I missed a cup of tea being ready when I woke up. I missed laundry being taken care of. I missed not knowing when the dusting lady came home. The occasional party at home felt like a pain. Cleaning ashtrays<\/a> which you have not contributed to sucked. Sleeping in a smoke-filled room felt disgusting. Cooking for ungrateful friends who\u2019d order because it lacked \u201ctexture and flavour\u201d was annoying. Sure, it was easy for them to say, they\u2019d just watched an episode of Masterchef Australia <\/em>on a flat screen TV, the price of which they had no idea.\n

\u201cAish toh baap ke paise pe ki jaati hai; khud ke paise se toh kharcha bhi nahi nikalta.\u201d How right he was, how wise. I missed my dad\u2019s money. I missed a house that was always in order.<\/blockquote>\nI realised once you live alone, your behaviour changes completely. Discounts<\/a> on detergents excite you more than happy hours. You start keeping an eye out for combo offers on dal. You can\u2019t walk through a street without noticing if the shimla mirch is fresh. You dream of a dust-free bookshelf. You finally know why your mom and her friends always discussed maids and house helps when they met. And you empathise. You plan for where you\u2019ll dry clothes in the monsoon<\/a> in the month of May itself. You don\u2019t want to stay out too long; what\u2019s the point if nobody asked where you were?\n\nAnd that\u2019s when I thought to myself, why do we want to do this to ourselves? Why is there such a high premium on moving out? What was so great about it? Nothing was. Independence is overrated. The only thing that beats it is \u201cdoing things with my own money\u201d. This misplaced sense of confidence and adulthood<\/a> is not needed. Your own money is always too less. One of those nights, as luck would have it, I met a rickshawallah taking me home who said\n\n\u201cAish toh baap ke paise pe ki jaati hai; khud ke paise se toh kharcha bhi nahi nikalta.\u201d How right he was, how wise. I missed my dad\u2019s money. I missed a house that was always in order.\n\nI had heard once you move out, it\u2019s difficult to move back in with your parents. You drift apart. You become too independent, you get used to that life of making your own decisions and being the lord of the living room. They irritate you. Their concern gets on your nerves. But it did the exact opposite for me. If anything, it made me respect them way more. I valued what they<\/a> did immeasurably. I have no idea how mom put three types of food with varying levels of chilly in three tiffins before 7 am. It sounded difficult as a kid, it felt impossible as an adult. How did they know how much money to withdraw at the beginning of the month? How did they never miss a payment? How did they run a house so easily?\n\nI finally realised it wasn\u2019t easy for them either, they just didn\u2019t crib about it. Cribbing is a new concept. They just did things. And that\u2019s what makes parents<\/a>, parents. They do things. Without asking or cribbing. All they ask in return is that I tell them when I\u2019d be coming home and I tell them most happily. In fact I will give it to them in writing on an affidavit. \u00a0I will do anything\u2026 just no more lusting after shimla mirchi please.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I thought moving out would be about no deadlines, no curfews, and no rules. But it is about waiting for a plumber, paying rent and bills, waking up early to fill the water tank, and eating bland, self-cooked food. I didn\u2019t do drugs, I did dishes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":2711,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[5486,5487,5488,18,1665,1220,5489,5490,1726,5491,4497,4425,4319,5492],"class_list":["post-2710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-bandra","tag-bills","tag-deadlines","tag-family","tag-flat","tag-home","tag-houses","tag-moving-out","tag-parents","tag-plumber","tag-rent","tag-survival","tag-water","tag-west"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Moving Out of Your Parent\u2019s House is Overrated<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I thought moving out would be about no deadlines, no curfews, and no rules. But it is about waiting for a plumber, paying rent and bills, waking up early to fill the water tank, and eating bland, self-cooked food. 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