{"id":268,"date":"2016-03-10T21:06:32","date_gmt":"2016-03-10T21:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=268"},"modified":"2016-03-10T21:06:32","modified_gmt":"2016-03-10T21:06:32","slug":"exclusive-interview-with-brother-dave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=268","title":{"rendered":"Exclusive: Interview with Brother Dave"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">W<\/span>eedward and Bongstein caught up with David Cameron at a pub near 10 Downing Street, where he was drowning his sorrows in a pint of Pilsner and stuffing his face with Shepherd\u2019s Pie. It was hard to fully understand what he was saying because of his motionless upper lip and W&#038;B\u2019s pre-interview hazy ritual. But here\u2019s an excerpt:\n\n<\/p><strong>So Dave, what\u2019s up with the Ewes? Do the British hate sheep now?<\/strong>\nAs you\u2019ve probably heard, we\u2019ve pulled out of the EU partially over fears that refugees are coming, innit? If you ask me, it\u2019s just a bunch of big bollocks. At least the refugees brush their teeth, if you know what I mean.\n\n<strong>We saw your speech on the telly. You seemed a little emotional back there. What was going through your mind?<\/strong>\nCouldn\u2019t wait to get out of there, you feel. Just wanted to grab a pint and watch Aston Villa try their best to make it back to the league. And I wasn\u2019t getting emotional like some kind of sop. I was just a bit knackered you know; got something in me eye as well.\n\n<strong>What impact is this going to have on your country?<\/strong>\nWhen I first heard about it, I was a little arse over elbow, to be honest. But when you pull out of anything it\u2019s hard, am I right? When I was a ripe little wank, I entered a pig this one time. That\u2019s all people seem to remember now.\n\n<strong>Some people are calling it UK\u2019s Independence Day. But what does Will Smith have to do with anything?<\/strong>\nWell, Will Smith hated the aliens too, didn\u2019t he pet? They were getting him all up by his short and curlies. Some people don\u2019t handle sods in their knickers too well.\n\n<strong>So should we be buying houses in London immediately?<\/strong>\nYeah well, if Mallya and Vadra can do it, so can you. With the devaluing pound and the amount of black money you Pakis got, it shouldn\u2019t be a problem.\n\n<strong>We aren\u2019t Pakis. Which brings us to our next question. You left the EU pretty quick, why did it take you so long to leave India?<\/strong>\nWell that\u2019s kinda out of my jurisdiction, innit? It was all up to the old lady in Buckingham Palace, you know? We gave you the cricket and <em>Big Brother<\/em>. You guys should be happy.\n\nAlright, I\u2019m getting a little bladdered right now, and I think I love you guys\u2026 you can enter my elite country club anytime you like. And bring your dogs as well.\n\n<strong>Okay then, thanks, we guess\u2026before we leave, tell us what now? What does the future have in store for Dave Cameron?<\/strong>\nThe first thing I\u2019m gonna do is finish this pint. After that, I\u2019m headed to that albino wanker Boris\u2019 (Johnson) flat to have a couple words with \u2019im.\n\n<strong>We think you misunderstood. We\u2019re talking about your plans post that.<\/strong>\nPost that I\u2019m going to go see a certain Mr Farage. I\u2019m gonna show him what real rage looks like, is what I\u2019m gonna do.\n\n(At this point of time Mr Cameron seemed too intoxicated to continue and chose instead to belt out a poor rendition of the Sex Pistols hit \u201cGod Save the Queen\u201d, along with some football hooligans and pensioners gathered at the pub.)\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Outgoing and heartbroken Brit PM pours his heart out to W&#038;B, on Brexit, that bugger BoJo, and more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":269,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[62,63,64,65,66,67,475,476,477,71,72],"class_list":["post-268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-disarre","tag-arre","tag-arre-digital-platform","tag-arre-originals","tag-arre-reads","tag-arre-text-articles","tag-arre-website","tag-brexit","tag-david-cameron","tag-eu","tag-web-series","tag-web-shows"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Exclusive: Interview with Brother Dave<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Outgoing and heartbroken Brit PM pours his heart out to W&amp;B, on Brexit, that bugger BoJo, and more.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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