{"id":2459,"date":"2016-05-05T00:28:06","date_gmt":"2016-05-04T18:58:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=2459"},"modified":"2016-05-05T00:28:06","modified_gmt":"2016-05-04T18:58:06","slug":"picking-the-bill-on-a-date-india","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2459","title":{"rendered":"Bill De Ke Dekho: The Definitive Guide to Picking the Tab on a Date"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n\nT<\/span><\/p><\/div>

\n\nhere comes a time in your life when you realise that most of those you went to school with, are either committed or settled into diaper-changing routines. The big shift in your life, on the other hand, is that your disposable income has gone up from peanuts to classic salted peanuts and your Tinder<\/a> bio has moved from the cocky \u201cMy BF said I can date until he comes out of jail\u201d to the pseudo-evolved \u201cNothing\u2019s more stimulating than a good conversation.\u201d <\/span>\n\nWelcome to the <\/span>dating universe<\/span><\/a> of adults, which is mired in a cesspool of gender politics. For the most part, it is fun and games. Until the <\/span>cave-people adage<\/span><\/a> of \u201cIt\u2019s all about the money, honey\u201d suddenly rears its haughty head.<\/span>\n\nThis universe is a delicately balanced one. Back in the day, you could sass<\/span> the guy simply with your amazing <\/span>alcohol retention abilities<\/span><\/a>. But now it\u2019s not about you handling your malt like a pro anymore. Can you handle the cheque like a pro? This has nothing to do with your financial capability of footing the bill. Instead, it is all about realising that there is a subtle power equation at play that will determine the future of your relationship or at least your next couple of dates with the guy.<\/span>\n\nThe deadly \u201ccheque please,\u201d begins with your smile-plastered-across-the-face server handing over the cheque to the man on the table, with the obviousness of the sun rising in the east and all terrible things happening in India because of <\/span>Pakistan<\/span><\/a>. Now, because you\u2019ve already been subjected to this waiter\u2019s Pavlovian response of serving you the <\/span>lighter drink<\/span><\/a> because you\u2019re a woman, you\u2019re grinding your teeth. But giving the waiter a lesson on gender sensitivity should be the least of your concerns. <\/span>\n\nThe C-bomb, that seemingly unending strip of paper, is sitting on the table waiting to detonate. Now like the good old KBC, you have four options, but no helpline. And the option you lock will unlock a universe of infinitesimal relationship possibilities ranging from a hard-core <\/span>Vikram Bhatt<\/span><\/a> erotica to the drunk-on-romance <\/span>Aashiqui<\/span><\/i>, where somebody will kill themselves in the end, to <\/span>Qarib Qarib Singlle<\/span><\/i><\/a> that most people don\u2019t even know exists. <\/span>\n\nOPTION A: He foots the whole bill<\/b>\n\nHe\u2019s the shark. You\u2019re the goldfish. And in the deep blue ocean of <\/span>lust and longing<\/span><\/a>, you know who eats whom! At least that\u2019s what he\u2019s probably thinking. So unless you\u2019ve been taking turns on paying up \u2013 in which case you\u2019ve clearly been dating long enough, and your post-dinner moves have probably already become rusty \u2013 by letting him pick up the tab you may have already lost the first round of the battle of the sexes. <\/span>\n\nChances are he may insist. Even try a <\/span>smart alec line<\/span><\/a> like \u201cI know you are an independent woman, but please let me take this one.\u201d Still, DON\u2019T! Because you\u2019re thinking you\u2019ll pay next time. But <\/span>men are from Mars<\/span><\/a>, remember? In the simplistic Martian mind, free booze is equal to free sex. Your next time may not even present itself. So even if he\u2019s I-want-to-bake-him-and-eat-him level of hotness, you play smart. You peruse through the cheque first and watch the subtle changes on his face. Is he smirking? Is he anxious? Or is he secretly relieved? If it\u2019s the third, you may just end up <\/span>friendzoning<\/span><\/a> him in the long run, but what you do not want to dealing with a man whose ego is bigger than his <\/span>you-know-what<\/span><\/a>. And let\u2019s face it. You have a fragile ego too that you don\u2019t want bruised. <\/span>\n

The bottomline is, in the meandering corridors of the dating multiverse, you may or may not run into the perfect person. But what you will definitely run into are the undercurrents of gender politics that will grow stronger with every 60ml you down.<\/blockquote>\n\nOPTION B: <\/b>You foot the entire bill<\/b>\nNow you become the shark and he becomes, well, sea-weed. His hormones will kick in and he may consider this an affront to his ego. In which case, I\u2019d say, good riddance to bad rubbish. But let\u2019s be real. That would include <\/span>most men<\/span><\/a>. Remind yourself again \u2013 <\/span>Men. Are. From. Mars.<\/span><\/a> And Mars takes 687 days to do what Earth does in just 365 and Venus in a mere 243! That makes you naturally faster, sharper and a few steps ahead of him! So if he\u2019s even been borderline well-behaved for most of the evening and is interesting enough for you to want to explore the world beneath the sheets with him, then get your priorities straight, lady. Make a polite offer to go dutch and see where it takes you. You don\u2019t have to marry him, remember? <\/span>\n\nOf course, if you\u2019re up for mind games, it may be worth at least airing the idea of you picking up the whole tab. If you don\u2019t find him <\/span>fighting hard<\/span><\/a> to keep his face from paling, congratulations. You may have just spotted the endangered and therefore legendary green turtle in an ocean of pariahs! He will not just cheer for you in his honey-and-milk voice but will also make the shining promise of taking his turn the next time. In that case, I\u2019d just say \u2013 pinch yourself! Either you\u2019ve struck gold or I want to know what you\u2019re smoking.<\/span>\n\nOPTION C: <\/b>Both of you pay for what you\u2019ve had <\/b>\n\nRepeat after me. I <\/span>AM NOT IN <\/span>COLLEGE<\/span><\/a> ANYMORE<\/span>.<\/span> Seriously people, this sort of behaviour is acceptable only in canteens. And yet, due to some <\/span>intergalactic disturbance<\/span><\/a>, you and your date end up deciding, you will pay for your own booze and food, you guys are doomed to be platonic AF, even by Jadoo and Krrish standards. <\/span>\n\nOPTION D: Going Dutch <\/b>\n\nYou\u2019ve cracked it. May you have a long, healthy, and <\/span>fruitful relationship<\/span><\/a> \u2013 until you find the next suitable Mr or Ms Right. <\/span>\n\nThe bottomline is, in the meandering corridors of the dating multiverse, you may or may not run into the perfect person. But what you will definitely run into are the undercurrents of gender politics that will grow stronger with every 60ml you down. Sink or swim. Because when Martians and Venusians collide on an alien planet called Earth, sparks are bound to fly. <\/span>\n\nAnd in the interplanetary race for supremacy, the only currency as powerful as sex is money. And what rules both is mind games. When did we Venus-<\/span>waalis<\/span><\/i> ever play to lose?<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the good ol\u2019 days of dating, you could sass the guy simply with your amazing alcohol retention abilities. But now it\u2019s no longer about you handling your malt like a pro. Can you handle the cheque like a pro?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":236,"featured_media":2460,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[3754,5010,16,5011,505,1839,3967,19,224,4931,1466,408,5012,1051],"class_list":["post-2459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-alcohol","tag-bill","tag-boyfriend","tag-date","tag-dating","tag-drinking","tag-girlfriend","tag-india","tag-love","tag-modern","tag-romance","tag-sex","tag-tab","tag-tinder"],"yoast_head":"\nBill De Ke Dekho: The Definitive Guide to Picking the Tab on a Date<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In the good ol\u2019 days of dating, you could sass the guy simply with your amazing alcohol retention abilities. But now it\u2019s no longer about you handling your malt like a pro. 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