{"id":2307,"date":"2016-05-28T13:33:35","date_gmt":"2016-05-28T08:03:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/maharashtrian-marwari-culture-marriage\/"},"modified":"2016-05-28T13:33:35","modified_gmt":"2016-05-28T08:03:35","slug":"maharashtrian-marwari-culture-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307","title":{"rendered":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

W<\/span><\/p><\/div>

hen it comes to looking for a life partner, you always look for similarities (in the age of <\/span>dating apps<\/span><\/a> we call it a match). You feel the <\/span>more similar<\/span><\/a> you and your partner are, the easier it will be to fall in <\/span>love<\/span><\/a> and to stay in love. Truth is, to borrow from Alain de Botton, that compatibility is the victory of love, not its precondition. <\/span>\n\nI realised this when I married a <\/span>Marwari<\/span><\/a>.<\/span>\n\nFor instance, before our wedding, my in-laws wanted to gift me a watch. They were prepared to roll out the dough for a Rolex. Their faces dropped when I mentioned my favourite was Titan Edge. For the Marus a 12K watch isn\u2019t a wedding gift, it\u2019s a present fit for your 15th birthday. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nI should have realised that that was just the beginning of the differences in the ideologies of the two communities. We <\/span>Maharashtrians<\/span><\/a> are service-oriented people, a nine-to-five community. We like to work. We take up jobs. We hate to take a loan, or at least are scared of taking one. We don\u2019t like owing anyone money \u2013 be it a bank or a <\/span>bua<\/span><\/a>. Live within your means, we are told. Don\u2019t own things you can\u2019t afford. In fact, frugality goes beyond spending money. If you laugh too loud, it is frowned upon. If you dance and \u201cenjoy\u201d, it is frowned upon. You can\u2019t be too bright, bold, garish, funny, fun. Too much of anything is a no-no. <\/span>\n\n

The reason why a Maharashtrian is always convinced that money will be over, and a Maru is always sure there will always be more, may have to do with history.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nA favourite reprimand among Maharashtrians is \u201cshobha deta ka<\/span> (is it becoming?)\u201d<\/span>. <\/span><\/i>Becoming of who, exactly? Becoming of someone who is educated, has an unnecessary but harmless superiority complex, is God-fearing, cultured,<\/span> and a <\/span>Brahmin<\/span><\/a>? Not to say others aren\u2019t cultured \u2013 but Maharashtrians are perhaps the only community that judges itself more than it judges others. <\/span>\n\nSome of us want to be the Dairy Milk girl and run in gleeful abandon to celebrate a small, possibly insignificant achievement, and taste the swaad of zindagi. But no, things have to be measured. Expenses, <\/span>happiness<\/span><\/a>, expressiveness, love, the size of the family, anything. <\/span>\n\nIn contrast, stand the Marwaris, the diametric opposite of what Maharashtrians are \u2013 despite the legendary stinginess that is associated with the community. They are more in number. They can be loud. They are unapologetic. All of this possibly because a Maharashtrian works for someone else and a Maru for himself. They can afford to have shauk (hobbies). And the shauk has no \u201cmol (price)\u201d. Marwaris know how to show you a good time. They have destination weddings, not weddings with deadlines in karyalays (marriage bureaus). They\u2019ve stopped measuring \u2013 be it expenses, happiness, expressiveness, love, the size of the family, anything. <\/span>\n\nMarus have weddings that go on for days. Maharashtrians have weddings that barely make it past the hour mark. Maru buffets spread from one end of a ballroom to the other. <\/span>Maharashtrians<\/span><\/a> cap it at four sabzis and a dal. The logic: \u201cAaj kal koni khaat nahi.\u201d (Nobody eats much nowadays). Marus believe in diamonds. Maharashtrians, in gold. (Even our gifts are an investment.) A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. <\/span>\n\nTo a Maru, a Maharashtrian is so frugal, he is cheap. To a Marathi, a Maru is such a spendthrift, he is irresponsible. \u201cWhy not spend when you have the money,\u201d is how a Maru thinks. But then again, a Maharashtrian asks, \u201cWhy not save when you have the money?\u201d See what I mean? <\/span>\n\nThe thing is, a Maharashtrian always thinks he is poorer than he is; a Maru is convinced he is richer than he is. I know you think you think most of this is stereotyping, but there is reason why these stereotypes endure. The reason why a Maharashtrian is always convinced that money will be over, and a Maru is always sure there will always be more, may have to do with history. Maybe it\u2019s because Marus have old wealth \u2013 wealth from the zamindari and opium trade of yore. Maharashtrians do not have wealth per se \u2013 at least most of us don\u2019t. Even if we get wealthy, we continue living the way we always have. Moving out of your old, simple home into a posh one, is almost looked down upon: \u201cShinga Phutle\u201d being the reprimand (Grown too big for your boots). <\/span>\n\nSo where does love fit in all of this? <\/span>\n\nIf your cultures take you in two drastically different directions, where do you meet on gifts, on spending, on weddings, on choices, on everything? My wife and I have found a place where marriages work. It\u2019s called midway. We\u2019ve decided to meet each other there every day. <\/span>\n\nIf this means I wear my \u201ccheap\u201d 12k watch while she insists on a buffet for dinner, so be it.\u00a0<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":2308,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[2282,2113,4678,4679,4680,4681,4682,3937,21,2137,4683,417],"class_list":["post-2307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-modern-family","tag-caste","tag-culture","tag-culture-shock","tag-cultures","tag-frugal","tag-indian-weddings","tag-madu","tag-marathi","tag-marriage","tag-marwari","tag-wed","tag-weddings"],"yoast_head":"\nShaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-28T08:03:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ramjaane\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ramjaane\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Ramjaane\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/afd5495aebe8913dae5da555613a2392\"},\"headline\":\"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-28T08:03:35+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307\"},\"wordCount\":845,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1522051803.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Caste\",\"Culture\",\"Culture Shock\",\"Cultures\",\"Frugal\",\"Indian Weddings\",\"Madu\",\"Marathi\",\"marriage\",\"Marwari\",\"Wed\",\"weddings\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Modern Family\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307\",\"name\":\"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1522051803.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-28T08:03:35+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/afd5495aebe8913dae5da555613a2392\"},\"description\":\"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1522051803.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1522051803.jpg\",\"width\":1520,\"height\":850},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=2307#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\",\"name\":\"Arr\u00e9\",\"description\":\"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/afd5495aebe8913dae5da555613a2392\",\"name\":\"Ramjaane\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/85965ed087c481a1110100ce11c872516b3319bb438b7a0040d536b899d2e04c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/85965ed087c481a1110100ce11c872516b3319bb438b7a0040d536b899d2e04c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/85965ed087c481a1110100ce11c872516b3319bb438b7a0040d536b899d2e04c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Ramjaane\"},\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?author=187\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari","description":"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari","og_description":"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.","og_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307","og_site_name":"Arr\u00e9","article_published_time":"2016-05-28T08:03:35+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1520,"height":850,"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Ramjaane","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari","twitter_description":"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ramjaane","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307"},"author":{"name":"Ramjaane","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/afd5495aebe8913dae5da555613a2392"},"headline":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari","datePublished":"2016-05-28T08:03:35+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307"},"wordCount":845,"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg","keywords":["Caste","Culture","Culture Shock","Cultures","Frugal","Indian Weddings","Madu","Marathi","marriage","Marwari","Wed","weddings"],"articleSection":["Modern Family"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307","name":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg","datePublished":"2016-05-28T08:03:35+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/afd5495aebe8913dae5da555613a2392"},"description":"Maharashtrians are frugal, Marwaris are shaukeen. A Maharashtrian\u2019s wedding budget is a Marwari\u2019s lehenga budget. I married a Marwari and though our cultures take us in two different directions, we\u2019ve found a place to make things work. It\u2019s called midway.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg","width":1520,"height":850},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2307#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Shaadi Ke Side Effects: When a Maharashtrian Marries a Marwari"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/afd5495aebe8913dae5da555613a2392","name":"Ramjaane","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85965ed087c481a1110100ce11c872516b3319bb438b7a0040d536b899d2e04c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85965ed087c481a1110100ce11c872516b3319bb438b7a0040d536b899d2e04c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85965ed087c481a1110100ce11c872516b3319bb438b7a0040d536b899d2e04c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Ramjaane"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=187"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1522051803.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/187"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2308"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}