{"id":2299,"date":"2016-06-07T17:38:40","date_gmt":"2016-06-07T12:08:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/mothers-judgemental-people-earth\/"},"modified":"2016-06-07T17:38:40","modified_gmt":"2016-06-07T12:08:40","slug":"mothers-judgemental-people-earth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2299","title":{"rendered":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\u00a0\n

E<\/span>very day as you go through the daily grind, sipping coffee and cursing <\/p>traffic<\/span><\/a>, there is a mother seemingly doing exactly the same thing, but her mind is elsewhere. She\u2019s wondering if the <\/span>tiffin<\/span><\/a> she packed for her son is either too much or too little. She\u2019s wondering whether the costume she has chosen for the costume party is too common or bizarre. She\u2019s wishing she could just stop fucking thinking for a minute and enjoy her goddamn coffee. <\/span>\n\nMoms from all over the world go through these pointless dilemmas while raising and nurturing their offspring. It\u2019s an endless cycle of blame and justification, and it plays out not just in our minds but also in front of others. We\u2019re constantly comparing notes with other mothers and coming up short. Self-doubt is our ruling star and judgement is our moon. <\/span>\n\nIn case you didn\u2019t know already, mothers are the most judgemental people in the world. A few moons ago, when I was a <\/span>few kilos lighter<\/span><\/a> and my uterus hadn\u2019t faced the turbulence it did three years ago, I was one of them. I was one of those judgey people. I would scoff at friends who distracted their toddlers with phones and iPads when it was time to eat. I would make mental notes that I would never ever resort to that. I judged these mothers for their easy shortcuts, for not doing it right. <\/span>\n\nCut to three years later: There are more chances of India topping the Olympics than there are of my son eating without a phone or a tablet or a TV in front of him showing Peppa Pig.<\/span>\n\nOn a typical weekday, I trudge home after eight hours of work and two hours of traffuck, knowing that my offspring will welcome me home by plundering my bag like the <\/span>British colonials<\/span><\/a> did India. My MIL will be running me through the day \u2013 what my son did at school, what time he ate, how he slept, pooped, or why she suspects he might be developing an infection. As I slowly make my way to the bedroom, my house help will waltz in with a half a glass of water and a list of things that need to be restocked in the kitchen. Before I can change into something comfortable, it\u2019s dinner time for the son. He will obviously insist that I have to be the one to feed him \u2013 why else would mommy be home? I know that at this point it is easier for me to convince everyone that <\/span>Trump<\/span><\/a> is a good president than to get my son to sit still. The choices in front of me are either running around the house and feeding him as he displays his new superhero moves, or go for 10 minutes of calm by putting on Peppa Pig.<\/span>\n\nWe are masochists to think that we should all be striving for perfection. Motherhood is a sea of such decisions and we have been trained by other mothers to choose the tough ones. No pain, no gain, right?<\/span>\n\nWell fuck that. I\u2019m taking the path of least resistance. I have co-opted a few mechanisms, as imperfect as they may be, to retain my sanity. I have a house help, I have used diapers not nappies, I have given my son a pacifier on the days he was cranky, and I am really okay giving him the screen time he requires while eating. But I also ensure he gets his outdoor time in the park on weekends. \u00a0<\/span>\n

“Every woman who enters motherhood starts on with the pure intention of perfection.”<\/blockquote>\nToday, three hard years along the motherhood road, I\u2019m judged for something else \u2013 working too much while my son is young. But the difference is, that today I\u2019m kinder to mothers who try to shame me. And believe me, they\u2019ve tried. I\u2019ve been judged by a woman who appointed herself mommy-group class monitor for dressing my son up as <\/span>Baahubaali<\/span><\/a> at a society fancy-dress competition while other kids played Batman and other American Avengers. I stuck to my guns and sent him anyway. (Read more about that agonising day <\/span>here<\/span><\/a>!<\/span>) <\/span>\n\nMonths later, Monitor Mom invited my son to a <\/span>Holi party<\/span><\/a> and I accepted the invite with great trepidation. To my surprise, she was genuinely warm and the party was wonderful. It made me realise that sometimes the judgement is not really directed at you. If I can give myself the benefit of the doubt all the time, I can give her a break too. It could have just been a bad day and God knows every mom has had her fair share of those.<\/span>\n\nEvery woman who enters motherhood starts on with the pure intention of perfection. Of course, we\u2019re all going to be amazing and do everything absolutely right. At some point, however, the stress of doing everything that parenting sites and mommy bloggers tell us to do, turns us into women incapable of drinking a peaceful cup of coffee. It is at that moment that we realise that there are more chances of finding ET than there are of finding the perfect mother. <\/span>\n\nWe all have to make our peace with being judged for our <\/span>parenting<\/span><\/a>. Humour the judgemental mother instead of fighting with her. One day, she will give her baby the bottle instead of feeding him with a katori chamach, and then she will be part of your tribe of imperfection. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nIt is as Indira Nooyi said, \u201cI don’t think women can have it all. But we can pretend we have it all.\u201d<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":198,"featured_media":2300,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[4657,4658,1003,4659,806,4660,1867,243,3435,4661,4662,4663,471,4664,4665,4666,4667,291,4668],"class_list":["post-2299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-advice","tag-articles","tag-children","tag-ipad","tag-iphone","tag-judgemental","tag-kids","tag-mothers","tag-new","tag-newborn","tag-old","tag-pacifier","tag-parenting","tag-pregnant","tag-screen","tag-tips","tag-toddler","tag-tv","tag-young"],"yoast_head":"\nMothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-07T12:08:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Vani Rane\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vani Rane\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Vani Rane\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4\"},\"headline\":\"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-06-07T12:08:40+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299\"},\"wordCount\":948,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1521877598.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"advice\",\"articles\",\"Children\",\"ipad\",\"iPhone\",\"judgemental\",\"kids\",\"mothers\",\"new\",\"newborn\",\"old\",\"pacifier\",\"parenting\",\"pregnant\",\"screen\",\"tips\",\"toddler\",\"tv\",\"young\"],\"articleSection\":[\"POV\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299\",\"name\":\"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1521877598.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-06-07T12:08:40+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4\"},\"description\":\"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1521877598.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1521877598.jpg\",\"width\":1520,\"height\":850},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=2299#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\",\"name\":\"Arr\u00e9\",\"description\":\"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4\",\"name\":\"Vani Rane\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vani Rane\"},\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?author=198\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth","description":"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth","og_description":"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299","og_site_name":"Arr\u00e9","article_published_time":"2016-06-07T12:08:40+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1520,"height":850,"url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Vani Rane","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth","twitter_description":"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Vani Rane","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299"},"author":{"name":"Vani Rane","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4"},"headline":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth","datePublished":"2016-06-07T12:08:40+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299"},"wordCount":948,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg","keywords":["advice","articles","Children","ipad","iPhone","judgemental","kids","mothers","new","newborn","old","pacifier","parenting","pregnant","screen","tips","toddler","tv","young"],"articleSection":["POV"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299","url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299","name":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg","datePublished":"2016-06-07T12:08:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4"},"description":"I used to scoff at friends who gave their toddlers phones or ipads while feeding them. I did not want to be that mother. Three years later, it\u2019s more likely that India tops the Olympics than my son eats without a screen in front of him.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg","width":1520,"height":850},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=2299#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Mothers: The Most Judgemental People on Earth"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4","name":"Vani Rane","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Vani Rane"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=198"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1521877598.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/198"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2299"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2299\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}