{"id":2286,"date":"2016-05-03T23:47:38","date_gmt":"2016-05-03T18:17:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/half-liberal-privileged-woke-millennials\/"},"modified":"2016-05-03T23:47:38","modified_gmt":"2016-05-03T18:17:38","slug":"half-liberal-privileged-woke-millennials","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=2286","title":{"rendered":"Woke in the Streets, Privileged in the Sheets: The Birth of the Half-Liberal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A<\/span><\/p><\/div>

s the conversation to <\/span>#DeleteFacebook<\/span><\/a> drones around us in an annoying buzz (because you know nobody is really going to delete it), I can\u2019t help but imagine what I\u2019d do with my time if I didn\u2019t have conversations to eavesdrop on. Like for instance, this one: A friend posted a status about how disastrous Donald Trump\u2019s decision was \u2013 it doesn\u2019t matter which one. The first comment was: \u201cYou live in Dombivli. You get <\/span>water<\/span><\/a> only thrice a week. Focus.\u201d I spent a good 40 minutes laughing at that one. Is there anything more entertaining than witnessing the mirror of reality being held up to a \u2013 what shall we call them? \u2013 gullible, upper-class, privileged <\/span>liberal-ish<\/span><\/a> twits. Half-liberals? <\/span>\n\nCome to think of it, you don\u2019t really need <\/span>Facebook<\/span><\/a> for this. This variety of deluded do-gooders \u2013 people who make the right noises about the right trending things \u2013 is everywhere today, out in the same real world that they refuse to acknowledge. He\u2019s the guy standing at an ATM with 24-hour air-conditioning, refusing to take a printout of the receipt to save the <\/span>environment<\/span><\/a>. The best part is that he walks out thinking he has indeed saved it. <\/span>\n\nIf you don\u2019t have time to hang around at an ATM or lurk on Facebook, don\u2019t worry. Just pay attention to them the next time you\u2019re catching a drink. These are the guys who call a suburb a borough, because that\u2019s what they\u2019re called <\/span>\u201cback home\u201d<\/span><\/a> in America. They use nicknames for cities they\u2019ve recently visited: Frisco, anyone? They won\u2019t play <\/span>Holi<\/span><\/a> but will take a shower because buckets are too LS. They won\u2019t celebrate Diwali because, hey, <\/span>child labour<\/span><\/a>. They mark themselves \u201csafe\u201d sitting in Bali when the earthquake was in Nepal. They\u2019re constantly worried about a lot of the North Pole starting to evaporate, and that we could get to a tipping point. They think it is a little racist to call it a Black Friday. <\/span>\n\nUpcycling, granny glasses, part-time veganism interspersed with \u201cdirty\u201d burgers, an obsession with obscure coffee and <\/span>craft beer<\/span><\/a> \u2013 that\u2019s their thing. They roll their eyes if you want a cutting chai, why don\u2019t you go to Blue Tokai? In fact, it ain\u2019t coffee if it isn\u2019t priced at \u20b9499 plus GST. They sit in air-conditioned conference rooms, with a plastic Bisleri bottle on every table discussing global warming. And yes, these are the same people who observe Earth Day with more seriousness than kids approach their <\/span>board exams<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>\n\n

The same hipster that pees a few millilitres and flushes it with many litres of water is outraged by an ordinary person bursting a balloon.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nThis is a breed of people that gets clubbed with anyone who espouses liberal values. You can hardly label me a fundamentalist if I read a report on Muslims being turned away from housing societies and do a Facebook rage-post about it, can you? But what if I am also the guy who says, ugh, <\/span>slums<\/span><\/a> are so unclean? What if I scream \u201c#EqualPay\u201d at the TV with tears in my eyes, everytime <\/span>Anushka Sharma<\/span><\/a> brings it up in an interview, but will choose to pay the <\/span>bai<\/span><\/a> the same exploitative rate that the apartment society has fixed? What if I were the woman who did a Twitter thread everytime someone so much as uttered the word <\/span>\u201ccaste\u201d<\/span><\/a> but wouldn\u2019t so much as blink an eyelid when my grandmother segregated the utensils: one lot for the family, one for everyone from outside?<\/span>\n\nWhat if I had all the attributes of wokeness, without actually being woke?<\/span>\n\nNo matter how much I try, it\u2019s really difficult to control an overwhelming urge to grab them by their arms, give them a good shake, and ask them if they\u2019re fucking kidding themselves. Personal preferences aside, my trouble with them is the high horse they sit on. I can\u2019t stand the righteous rage they fly into, the way they sniff at anyone who is perceived to be lower down the scale of competitive wokeness, especially because I know how divorced from reality some of them actually are. <\/span>\n\nThe same hipster that pees a few millilitres and flushes it with many litres of water is outraged by an ordinary person bursting a balloon. How dare you waste water? Don\u2019t you know Cape Town doesn\u2019t have any left (pssst, neither does <\/span>Bangalore<\/span><\/a>)? These folks suffer from the same superiority complex as the girlfriend who, seven months into dating, finds your wardrobe choice wrong and table manners deplorable. <\/span>\n\nThe important question is how did we get here? How did something that supposedly espoused the values of broad-minded thinking end up as narrow-minded judging? <\/span>\n\nMaybe it is born of the absurdity surrounding us. When the red of the Left and the orange of the <\/span>Right<\/span><\/a> gets brighter, it\u2019s natural that the teal of the Liberal shall rise too. When reasonable conversations are well nigh impossible to have and common sense jostles for space, the only way to be heard is to shout above the others or shout something different. <\/span>\n\nNow lemme go order my flat white from Blue Tokai. <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Deluded do-gooders \u2013 people who make the right noises about the right trending things \u2013 are everywhere today. They sit in air-conditioned conference rooms, with a plastic Bisleri bottle on every table discussing global warming. They outrage about #EqualPay, but will choose to exploit the bai.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":2287,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[4625,4626,19,1203,1245,4627,4628,4629],"class_list":["post-2286","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-duplicity","tag-half-liberals","tag-india","tag-internet","tag-millennials","tag-privilege","tag-privileged-woke","tag-woke"],"yoast_head":"\nWoke in the Streets, Privileged in the Sheets: The Birth of the Half-Liberal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Deluded do-gooders \u2013 people who make the right noises about the right trending things \u2013 are everywhere today. They sit in air-conditioned conference rooms, with a plastic Bisleri bottle on every table discussing global warming. 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