{"id":213,"date":"2016-04-16T21:06:41","date_gmt":"2016-04-16T21:06:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=213"},"modified":"2016-04-16T21:06:41","modified_gmt":"2016-04-16T21:06:41","slug":"the-patna-papers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=213","title":{"rendered":"The Patna Papers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

F<\/span>ollowing the <\/p>controversy<\/a> surrounding two Bihar class XII toppers, Weedward & Bongstein travelled to Vishnu Roy College of \u201cEducation and Stuff\u201d to get to the heart of the truth.\n\nSince laws are meant to be broken and ethics are for lesser journalists, W&B stole into the college registrar\u2019s office while he was out on a paan break, and came away with a startling discovery about the state of education in the state of Bihar. In a folder simply marked, \u201cFor Toppers Only\u201d, they found question papers intended specifically for students who were part of the Paid to Pass Programme or PPP.\n\nUnder the sub-heading \u201cProdigal Science\u201d, W&B discovered the following questions:\n\n\u2013 If person A has two Aston Martins and refuses to drive either, do the Aston Martins even exist?\n\n\u2013 Name ten places other than Switzerland and the Cayman Islands where you can discreetly store liquid assets.\n\n\u2013 If Ramesh has 10 kilos of gold and Suresh has none, should Ramesh give Suresh some gold? Elaborate why, or why not, in 300 words.\n\n\u2013 Explain the process by which daal tadka is obtained. Provide quantities in metric and imperial units, with a step-by-step tabulated recipe.\n\nAs part of the \u201cScience for Suckers\u201d set, W&B discovered a printout of the following questions:\n\n\u2013 If neon is such a noble gas, how come it\u2019s used widely at raves?\n\n\u2013 If the Earth is constantly subjected to atmospheric pressure, why do so many people die of stress?\n\n\u2013 Explain the process of photosynthesis. Illustrate with selfies.\n\n\u2013 If a hydro-electric dam, produces 50 MW of electricity, how much hydrogen is required to triple the capacity? Explain in brief.\n\nWhen W&B confronted the principal with this explosive evidence, he answered, \u201cSome subjects are tougher than others. All students cannot grasp them. In order to help them overcome these challenges, we sometimes create our own subjects.\u201d He then proceeded to leave for the day.\n\nW&B managed to speak to one of the toppers, whose name has been withheld to protect privacy. When asked if he knew what element the chemical symbol \u201cNa\u201d signified, he answered with a simple, \u201cNahi.\u201d W&B decided against asking him any further questions.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Weedward & Bongstein return with an explosive report from ground zero of Bihar\u2019s examination controversy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":214,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[62,63,64,65,66,67,359,324,360,361,362,71,72],"class_list":["post-213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-disarre","tag-arre","tag-arre-digital-platform","tag-arre-originals","tag-arre-reads","tag-arre-text-articles","tag-arre-website","tag-bihar","tag-disarre","tag-exams","tag-prodigal-science","tag-scam","tag-web-series","tag-web-shows"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Patna Papers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Weedward & Bongstein return with an explosive report from ground zero of Bihar\u2019s examination controversy.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, 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