{"id":211,"date":"2016-04-26T02:33:43","date_gmt":"2016-04-26T02:33:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=211"},"modified":"2016-04-26T02:33:43","modified_gmt":"2016-04-26T02:33:43","slug":"one-post-to-mourn-them-all","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=211","title":{"rendered":"One Post to Mourn Them All"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">W<\/span>hat an exhausting weekend it has been. \u201cThe Greatest\u201d breathed his last. And he meant so much to so many of us, as my Facebook TL and Twitter feed bear testimony. Who knew? Quite frankly, the news of his death didn\u2019t affect me at all. Please don\u2019t get me wrong, but the guy meant nothing to me. Neither did I grow up watching him fight, nor was he my childhood hero whom I tried emulating.\n\nWith all due respect to everything he achieved in his lifetime, I didn\u2019t share a personal rapport with the guy. Ali didn\u2019t show up at my doorstep at 4 am when I was knocking back my fourth quarter and seventh slice of pizza to tell me, \u201cIt\u2019s just a phase. You\u2019ll be fine.\u201d When I heard of his passing, I thought about him for a few seconds. Truth be told, I don\u2019t know why, but I actually thought of Will Smith playing Ali for a few seconds. And then, I immediately got back to thinking about the things that actually matter to me \u2013 like, getting Arr\u00e9 to clear payments for my previous articles.\n\nI have no memories attached to Ali. But from reading all the Facebook posts in the last couple of days, I somehow find it un-bloody-believable that he \u201cdeeply moved\u201d so many people on my friend list, who were all \u201cupset\u201d, \u201csad\u201d, and \u201cdamn sad\u201d about his death. He apparently touched as many lives as Maya Angelou and Lemmy.\n\nI\u2019m sure these people will be as troubled by the next famous person\u2019s death. But you can\u2019t blame them. Social-media mourning is an addiction. Every time a famous person dies, I\u2019ve noticed six kinds of social-media mourners.\n\n1. The Like Slut\nA majority of Facebookers, unfortunately, belong to this group. As soon as a celeb kicks the bucket, these chaps swing into action to get the \u201cfirst-mover\u201d advantage. They quickly put up an \u201cRIP\u201d and hashtag the name of the deceased personality to start milking the likes. It\u2019s a tried and tested mathematical formula: No of likes = RIP x #(name of celeb who died) + :\u2019(. Sometimes they could add a ?, if they\u2019re not in a tearing hurry to get back to their game of Candy Crush.\n\nFirstly, RIP? Come on, you don\u2019t even have the time to type out \u201cRest In Peace\u201d? The dude just died. Put yourself in the dead person\u2019s shoes (I mean, unless the dead person is Oscar Pistorius \u2013 in which case, just put yourself on his steroids). He definitely deserves more than just a RIP, don\u2019t you think? Would you be okay if people abbreviated their condolences when you died? And then hashtagged it with a stupid emoji? Thought not.\n\n2. The Share Seeker\nLet\u2019s face it, it\u2019s the Shares, not the Likes, that make you go viral. The share seeker will quickly download images of the aforementioned dead person and upload the image with the dead dude\u2019s quote on it (Editor\u2019s note: The author\u2019s views do not reflect those of this organisation).\n\nThese images are then shared by friends on Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. But if they\u2019re late to the party, and others have already shared the quotes, they could just upload the picture with a random Einstein quote on it. Because for some reason, a lot of Einstein\u2019s quotes could somehow pass off as generic dead guy quotes. Thanks, Einstein.\n\n3. The True Fan\nNow this is the dude I feel the worst for. He\u2019s followed Ali all his life. Watched all his videos on YouTube. Got into fights in the comments section as to why Ali was technically better than George Foreman. And then, when suddenly Ali dies, he\u2019s competing for social-media time with people who Googled Muhammad Ali three minutes after his death.\n\nHe feels cheated. All along, he thought he was the only one. Obviously, he cries foul and goes on a rant about how everyone else is just a \u201cfake fan\u201d or \u201cpseudo mourner\u201d. But nobody listens to him. As the day progresses, he is labelled a spoilsport. So he deals with two tragedies in one day: Losing his hero and his social-media rep.\n\n4. The Anti-Hero\nThen there\u2019s the one person who is upset with all the attention the dead celeb has been receiving. S\/He always knows somebody in the same field who was more talented, died poor and went largely unrecognised (\u201cIndia\u2019s only Mr Universe died yesterday, where\u2019re his Facebook condolences?\u201d)\n\nGenerally, this person\u2019s updates are quite defensive: \u201cDon\u2019t know why everybody is going gaga about Muhammad Ali; when the great Kinod Vambli, world-class boxer from Chembur, passed away nobody cared. He was way more talented but never got any recognition. This was because he didn\u2019t get the right opportunities or have the marketing and PR contacts like Ali. Ali was all flash. In fact, Ali sabotaged Kinod Vambli\u2019s career. Miss you, Kinod.\u201d\n\n5. The Bollywood Celeb\nThis is my favourite category of mourners. These chaps would\u2019ve been present in the same room as the international dead celeb at some point in their lives. The dead celeb, of course, wouldn\u2019t have been aware of their existence. But their updates would read like: \u201cOh. RIP Ali Bhai. Will always cherish the great times we enjoyed\u201d. \u201cCan\u2019t believe he\u2019s gone. Such a gentle soul. And an even better friend. Will miss you dost, see you soon! #sad #bestfriend #bff #dead\u201d.\n\n6. The Opportunist\nThis is the smartest and most conniving set. They make fun of all the mourners, hoping to get shares, likes, and subscribers. (Editor\u2019s note: Like the guy who wrote this article). To make maximum out of such tragedies, they add clickbaity headlines such as, \u201cTag a friend who mourns like this\u201d or \u201cWe all have this one friend on our friend list who does this when somebody famous dies\u201d. Such opportunistic bastards, I tell you.\n\nUnlike real life, on social media you don\u2019t observe a minute\u2019s silence as a mark of respect to the dear departed. Instead, to signify veneration you make enough of a noise for the dead. So let\u2019s take a minute to appreciate the efforts of these social-media mourners who help trend the dead. Amen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With due respect to Muhammad Ali, it is unbelievable that he \u201cdeeply moved\u201d so many on my friend list. These are the six kinds of social-media mourners you should watch out for.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":212,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[348,62,63,64,65,66,67,354,355,356,357,358,71,72],"class_list":["post-211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-ali","tag-arre","tag-arre-digital-platform","tag-arre-originals","tag-arre-reads","tag-arre-text-articles","tag-arre-website","tag-facebook","tag-mohammad-ali","tag-rip","tag-social-media","tag-tribute","tag-web-series","tag-web-shows"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>One Post to Mourn Them All<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"With due respect to Muhammad Ali, it is unbelievable that he \u201cdeeply moved\u201d so many on my friend list. 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