{"id":1972,"date":"2016-07-22T06:52:17","date_gmt":"2016-07-22T01:22:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/dont-mess-with-working-moms\/"},"modified":"2016-07-22T06:52:17","modified_gmt":"2016-07-22T01:22:17","slug":"dont-mess-with-working-moms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1972","title":{"rendered":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span><\/p>here are two kinds of sleeping animals you should never, ever provoke for fear of tremendous reprisal: One is a lioness, the other is a working mom. If you do, however, make this grave mistake, then God alone save you from the wrath. I discovered the \u201csoti hui sherni\u201d in me a few weeks ago, when my humongous Mumbai society decided to have an annual cultural programme, where cultural and sport activities are organised with a degree of professionalism that would put IIFA and <\/span>IPL<\/span><\/a> to shame and everyone from zero to 100 years old is expected to participate.<\/span>\n\nMy son is three, and I was told that he would be participating in the fancy-dress competition, the only one he and his peers were eligible for. A group of moms decided that better than sending a young child on stage alone, with blinding lights and loud music, it might be a good idea to send them as a group. They\u2019d feel confident and perform better. Sounds great right? I thought so too, considering I am a working mom who works a manic job at a TV production house. I am about as aware of these important intra-society milestones as my three-year-old is aware of the pros and cons of investing in <\/span>cryptocurrency<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>\n\nA well-meaning neighbour mommy, aware of my plight, decided to pull me into the WhatsApp group consisting of six moms who had grouped their children together to perform under one highly original theme. In fact, it made me wonder why no one had ever thought of it before and made movies and sold merchandise around it. It was… superheroes! I was hardly in a position to snark at it \u2013 rather, I was happy my child would, for a change, be a part of something. <\/span>\n\nAt this point, it is important to introduce you to the What<\/span>sApp group\u2019s admin, Mrs C, a mother of two. As is the case with these responsibilities, Mrs C w<\/span>as under a cute misconception that being the admin equalled being the monitor of the mommy class, with unlimited power. I should have had an inkling about this the day she called for a meeting at her place to \u201cdiscuss and decide\u201d the order and music of the performance, how to prep our kids, just short of taking a workshop on \u201cHow to raise children to give Ted Talks by the age of two.\u201d<\/span>\n\nAnyway, the meeting was called with burnt French fries for the children and homemade laddoos for the moms. In the midst of the usual Batman, Spider-Man, Catwoman, <\/span>Wonder Woman<\/span><\/a> entries, my filmy Marathi + Hindi + Broken-English-speaking child only wanted to be one thing: <\/span>Baahubali<\/span><\/a>. This, however, did not pass Mrs C\u2019s exacting standards. \u201cI\u2019m sorry dear,\u201d she said, \u201cbut Baahubali is not really a superhero. If he wants to be a desi superhero, I don\u2019t mind if he picks Shaktimaan or <\/span>Krishh<\/span><\/a>. But Baahubali, I cannot allow. I hope you understand dear.\u201d <\/span>\n\nWait a second. Was I back in a conference room in office where my client was actually telling me that he does not approve my idea as the TG demographic is not right? I shook out of my reverie to see the words \u201cI will not approve dear\u201d, \u201cI\u2019m sorry dear\u201d forming speech bubbles in a room full of kids fighting over the remaining French fries on the floor. Nope. We were still in a room discussing what a three-year-old should wear for a fancy fucking dress, which isn\u2019t even a competition. Who made the rule book for this and why haven\u2019t I read it?<\/span>\n\nThe \u201csoti hui sherni\u201d in me had finally been awakened. No one tells my child what he can or can\u2019t become, especially not a hectoring adult with a class-monitor hangover. I held my polite face and told her that I\u2019d come back with my decision, as my son didn\u2019t want to become any other superhero although he loved all of them, thanks to his crazy father, who is also a child. I didn\u2019t even know how the hell would I turn him into Baahubali. But. Challenge accepted.<\/span>\n

When you are a working mom to a three-year-old, life is divided between client presentations and meetings vs pre-school routines and PTA meetings.<\/blockquote>\nI withdrew from the group politely, saying I did not wish to disturb the group dynamics being a last-minute entrant, and that I\u2019d send my child separately. By now the other mothers, realising the ridiculousness of it all, jumped to my defence and added me back, telling Mrs C that they\u2019d love to see Baahubali as part of the theme. <\/span>\n\nNot one to be slighted, Mrs C wrote a long essay and withdrew from the group, saying that she\u2019d been working very hard on her kid\u2019s costume and that she did not wish to be sabotaged by her own group. So, she\u2019d send her kid separately. When we asked her who her child would be playing, she said, \u201cI would not like to reveal that right now, dear, as other moms might steal the idea and I\u2019m paying so much for the customised outfit.\u201d If there were competitive Mommy-lympics, Mrs C would have walked off with the top prize for passive-aggressive pettiness, dear.<\/span>\n\nAnyway, on D-Day, after five hours of labour, my husband and I were able to prepare our little Baahubali, who would be the final act. The act was a hit, met with thunderous applause and smiles. The kids were thrilled, and all the moms relieved, jonesing for a glass of wine. <\/span>\n\nJust then, the host announced that there has been a last-minute entry. The youngest-ever participant was a four-month old cutie… Mrs C\u2019s infant. This was going to be amusing.<\/span>\n\nMrs C walked on stage with the baby dressed as an apple<\/span>. There were aawws and aahs from the audience and despite what had passed between Mrs C and me, I have to admit, it was a sweet idea. But I wasn\u2019t prepared for the master-stroke. <\/span>\n\nMrs C, produced a few placards and read them out loud.<\/span>\n\nIs it a superhero? No!<\/span><\/i>\n\nIs it a Baahubali? No!<\/span><\/i>\n\nWhat is it?<\/span><\/i>\n\nThis <\/span><\/i>*dramatic pause* <\/span>is the future of India!<\/span><\/i>\n\nWait what?<\/span>\n\nFirst off, that made no sense. And second, had Mrs C just tried to slam the performance of thumb-sucking toddlers who had gone on stage for the first time? And last, \u201cIs it a Baahubali?\u201d was not even grammatically correct. <\/span>\n\nMaybe, the joke was on us. I had just gotten schooled in mommy politics, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrolled your child in was competition. The sticky marsh where working moms were judged for not being involved enough. <\/span>\n\nBut maybe, Mrs C had accidentally ignited an instinct I didn\u2019t know I had buried. <\/span>\n\nWhen you are a working mom to a three-year-old, life is divided between client presentations and meetings vs pre-school routines and PTA meetings. There is, of course, the added pressure of ensuring that the child doesn\u2019t miss out on an social or cultural activities that other kids are exposed to. So, while I am very grateful to the mothers who take the lead in ensuring all kids participate in big or small events, it is the unreasonable, judgey ones that get my goat. If my kid is not happy, the \u201csoti hui sherni\u201d will awaken. And awaken with a vengeance. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nFor that alone, maybe I should send Mrs C a thank you note. I\u2019ll have done my bit \u2013 but I suspect it will piss her off.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":198,"featured_media":1973,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[3942,1003,19,1394,243,3943,3944],"class_list":["post-1972","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-people","tag-child-rearing","tag-children","tag-india","tag-motherhood","tag-mothers","tag-working-mom","tag-working-mother"],"yoast_head":"\nA Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-22T01:22:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Vani Rane\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vani Rane\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Vani Rane\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4\"},\"headline\":\"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-22T01:22:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972\"},\"wordCount\":1290,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1516631897.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"child rearing\",\"Children\",\"India\",\"Motherhood\",\"mothers\",\"Working Mom\",\"Working Mother\"],\"articleSection\":[\"People\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972\",\"name\":\"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1516631897.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-22T01:22:17+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4\"},\"description\":\"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1516631897.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1516631897.jpg\",\"width\":1520,\"height\":850},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.arre.co.in\\\/?p=1972#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\",\"name\":\"Arr\u00e9\",\"description\":\"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4\",\"name\":\"Vani Rane\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vani Rane\"},\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?author=198\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her","description":"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her","og_description":"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972","og_site_name":"Arr\u00e9","article_published_time":"2016-07-22T01:22:17+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1520,"height":850,"url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Vani Rane","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her","twitter_description":"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Vani Rane","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972"},"author":{"name":"Vani Rane","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4"},"headline":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her","datePublished":"2016-07-22T01:22:17+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972"},"wordCount":1290,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg","keywords":["child rearing","Children","India","Motherhood","mothers","Working Mom","Working Mother"],"articleSection":["People"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972","url":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972","name":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg","datePublished":"2016-07-22T01:22:17+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4"},"description":"I got schooled in mommy politics recently, where everything from potty-training to the number of classes you enrol your child in is competition. The sticky marsh where working moms are judged for not being involved enough.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg","width":1520,"height":850},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=1972#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"A Working Mom is a \u201cSoti Hui Sherni\u201d. Don\u2019t Mess With Her"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/3de1d3b09c4ea6fb3448630a0118c5e4","name":"Vani Rane","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c14d0c7acb9ac7eb2fa470f10f5497c8db41131da00a6836c4d913489e7b50a7?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Vani Rane"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=198"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1516631897.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1972","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/198"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1972"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1972\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1972"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1972"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1972"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}