{"id":1556,"date":"2016-05-23T12:35:19","date_gmt":"2016-05-23T12:35:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=1556"},"modified":"2016-05-23T12:35:19","modified_gmt":"2016-05-23T12:35:19","slug":"amitabh-bachchan-paradise-papers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1556","title":{"rendered":"Scoop! Amitabh Bachchan Opens Up about Paradise Papers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">A<\/span>fter being implicated in the Panama Papers, Bofors scandal, and a terrible Gujarat tourism ad, <\/p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/people\/amitabh-bachchan-birthday-big-b-outlook-social-media-awards\/\"target=\"_blank\">Amitabh Bachchan<\/a> has now been linked to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/humour\/paradise-papers-indian-corporates-black-money-panama-papers\/\"target=\"_blank\">Paradise Papers<\/a>. He has been accused once again of using offshore accounts to evade taxes and hide money from his son Abhishek, who according to sources wants his papa to finance his new film. To give the public his side of the story, the Swachh Bharat ambassador invited Weedward and Bongstein to his private island in the Mediterranean Sea.\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: Wow this place is pretty cool. It\u2019s like a Bond villain\u2019s hideout. Must have cost a bomb. Panama or Paradise?<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Amitabh Bachchan:<\/strong> Neither! This island has been acquired after my hard work on the Swachh Bharat campaign. I work hard, pay some taxes, and then come here to relax after a hard day of voice overs. Do you know how hard it is to retain a baritone after 75?\n\n<strong>W&#038;B:<\/strong><strong> We haven\u2019t seen you around much. We thought maybe you\u2019re laying low in light of these rumours.<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> (Looks startled) What rumours? This hair is 100 per cent real; it\u2019s not fake. You can take a tug at it and check.\n<strong>\nW&#038;B: Actually we\u2019re here to talk about the Paradise Papers.<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> You know the whole country of the system is juxtapositioned by the haemoglobin in the atmosphere because you are a sophisticated rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity leading to a fallacy that I have committed infractions whose nature is monetary.\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: That made zero sense.<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> So did <em>Jhoom Barabar Jhoom<\/em>, but I did it anyway, didn\u2019t I?\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: That\u2019s not a valid reason.<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> Okay, you got me. That money is mine, but I stashed it there for a reason. I tried storing the money in other places, but Abhi kept finding it. Jaya tried hiding it in the kitchen, but he\u2019d find it when he\u2019d get the munchies. Par rishte mein to hum uske baap lagte hai, so I hid the money first in Panama and then the Bahamas. I planned to move it because I heard <em>Dhoom 5<\/em> might be shot there. Yes, Abhi is there again. And still wearing terrible floral shirts. Poor guy is real desperate for a hit you know.\n<strong>\nW&#038;B: You can say that again. He asked us if we had \u201cstuff\u201d on the way in.<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Anyway, the government plans on celebrating Anti-Black Money Day on November 8 to commemorate one year of demonitisation. What are your plans?<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> I will duly support the government\u2019s efforts to clamp down on black money. Wait, do they have a brand ambassador?\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: We don\u2019t think so, sir. But don\u2019t they have you on a retainer basis already, that Gujarat ad and other government campaigns?<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> Actually, no. They\u2019ve been ghosting me after Panama.\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: Yet you seem so chill, sir. Vijay Mallya is being hounded by authorities all the time.<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> Of course I\u2019m chill! What\u2019s my name?\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: Ummm\u2026 Amitabh Bachchan?<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> Wrong. Naam hai Vijay\u2026 Vijay\u2026 Vijay&#8230; Deenanath\u2026 Deenanath\u2026 Deenanath\u2026 Chauhan\u2026 Chauhan\u2026 Chauhan\u2026 for tax purposes. And Vijay made a big mistake. He ran away. The best way to prove your innocence is to ignore that you did something wrong and keep chillin\u2019 like me. Plus thanks to KBC\u2019s new season, you know encouraging social causes and all, Mukesh and I can wash our money cleaner than DiMo Detergent Powder cleans your pants and the black money you forgot in your pockets.\n\n<strong>W&#038;B: Why the brand plug?<\/strong>\n\n<strong>AB:<\/strong> I\u2019m shooting for a soap ad in 30 minutes. You guys need a ride, my yacht can drop you. It\u2019s the big one there called \u201cMake In India\u201d. Goodnight, subhratri, and shabba khair!\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Weedward &#038; Bongstein questioned Amitabh Bachchan about the Paradise Papers allegations, and he said, \u201cThe whole country of the system is juxtapositioned by the haemoglobin&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":1557,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[2813,2814,2815,2816,2817,2818,2819,2820,2821,2822,2823],"class_list":["post-1556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-disarre","tag-accounts","tag-amitabh","tag-bachchan","tag-bofors","tag-havens","tag-offshore","tag-panama","tag-papers","tag-paradise","tag-scandal","tag-tax"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Scoop! 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