{"id":1381,"date":"2016-03-02T10:40:34","date_gmt":"2016-03-02T10:40:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=1381"},"modified":"2016-03-02T10:40:34","modified_gmt":"2016-03-02T10:40:34","slug":"dildo-sex-orgasm-female-masturbation-sex-toys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1381","title":{"rendered":"Dear 30-Something Woman, Dare to Dildo"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

D<\/span><\/p><\/div>

ear 30-something Woman,\n\nBy this time, you\u2019ve probably had sex, or maybe you haven\u2019t. Maybe you have a clear idea of what brings you pleasure, and what just makes you itchy and sore. Maybe you\u2019ve discovered you like sex more than you did in your 20s. Or maybe while being pleasured by your man or woman, you\u2019ve wondered briefly how wonderful it would be if the only thing on the menu was your pleasure and not the drudge work of pleasuring back. If the idea has crossed your mind, like it has mine, may I recommend giving the dildo a fair chance?<\/span>\n\nI know what you\u2019re thinking. I don\u2019t do <\/span>dildos<\/span><\/a>! I\u2019m not that woman. May I assure you that you are? The singular pleasures of the sex toy have been denied to us because we\u2019ve been taught that it takes two to tango. I\u2019m here to tell you that one can dirty dance just fine. <\/span>\n\nBuying a <\/span>sex toy<\/span><\/a> in India is surprisingly easy. It\u2019s not like when you go to a chemist\u2019s and pretend you need Combiflam while gesturing wildly at the morning-after pill and hoping the aunty next to you isn\u2019t watching. The internet is your best friend, so do your research. Since \u00a0you\u2019re already sexually active, you\u2019ll have a clearer idea of what stimulates you. You already know if you\u2019re a clit girl, or more into penetration. It will help you choose between a vibrator, or a dildo\u2026 or perhaps a delicious combination of the two? If you\u2019re like me, you will settle on a hot-pink thing called \u201cThe Spanish Aristocrat\u201d and you will look forward to its coming. Pun totally intended.<\/span>\n\nWhen it arrives at your doorstep, it is likely be labelled as a neck massager. So if you haven\u2019t moved out of home yet, nobody will get a heart attack. Everyone needs a neck massage every now and then, don\u2019t they? <\/span>\n\nNow let me warn you that seeing your sex toy up close for the first time can be a little unnerving. The Spanish Aristocrat first sent me into panic mode for 10 minutes and then unleashed an attack of the giggles for another five. I have a friend in her early 40s who burst into tears because she was certain she wouldn\u2019t know how to use it. My sweet pea, let me assure you that you will. <\/span>\n\nLike the beginning of any new relationship, you will circle your sex toy warily. As a 30-something-woman<\/a>, you\u2019re under enough pressure when it comes to sex, whether or not you\u2019re actually having it. You\u2019re rarely encouraged to think about your own pleasure, or to learn about your body as a sexual being. This is the age after all when you\u2019re supposed to have \u201csettled\u201d into a rhythm, emotionally and certainly sexually. Why would you do something as frivolous as buy yourself a sexual aide, anyway? <\/span>\n\n

Now let me warn you that seeing your sex toy up close for the first time can be a little unnerving. <\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nMy darling, let the questions come, but go easy on trying to find the answers. You\u2019re doing this for yourself. It\u2019s okay to be nervous. If you\u2019ve never touched yourself before, do so now. Use your hands, your fingers, just to familiarise yourself with how you feel. Get comfortable, take as long as you need. You are, at this moment, literally pushing your own pleasure buttons one at a time. You get to be deliciously, decadently selfish and begin a whole new relationship and it\u2019s soooo good!<\/span>\n\nThe Spanish Aristocrat (rechristened Benedict) and I began our relationship with a flourish. I poured me a glass of wine, wore nice lingerie, darkened my room, and put a cigarette aside to smoke afterward. I pushed the button and a quiet, gentle buzz came to life. When I finally placed it between my legs, it felt strange. It took a while to get rid of the feeling, but there was no hurry. Time was entirely my own, my body was completely in my hands. And then finally, my pelvis tilted upwards of its own accord, as though it knew it was time.<\/span>\n\nLadies, that was not masturbation. It was power. It was a heady feeling to know that you can learn about your body completely and without shame or agenda. You\u2019re not worried about sucking your stomach in or how your boobs look. Not wondering if your partner will cuddle or fall asleep straight away. This is all you \u2013 uninhibited and joyous in your 30-something skin, flesh, and mind. <\/span>\n\nNow, it\u2019s been almost a year since Benedict and I got together. When we met, I had a fairly fixed idea of who I was and what my body could do. Benedict can be magic, but he\u2019s not a magic wand. There are days when there\u2019s just nothing happening. No matter how much control we have, we have to accept that sometimes our bodies are a mystery. Or maybe they\u2019ve just had enough. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nUnlike most partners, Benedict understands that. That\u2019s one way of the many ways Benedict scores over past IRL partners. Our relationship may be one-sided, but it\u2019s not transactional. On most days, he respectfully rests in my bedside drawer, waiting to be summoned and when I don\u2019t feel like it, I don\u2019t need to fake a headache<\/a>, and he never ever sulks. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nSo go on, get yourself a Benedict. He may not ever be Cumberbatch, but I promise you, dear pleasure seeker, he will not disappoint. <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know what you\u2019re thinking. I don\u2019t do dildos! I\u2019m not that woman. May I assure you that you are?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":1382,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[2342,2343,2344,224,2052,2345,2346,853,408,409,411,2347,2348],"class_list":["post-1381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-sex","tag-clitoris","tag-dildos","tag-female-masturbation","tag-love","tag-masturbation","tag-orgasms","tag-penetration","tag-porn","tag-sex","tag-sex-toy","tag-sex-toys","tag-sexual-pleasure","tag-vibrators"],"yoast_head":"\nDear 30-Something Woman, Dare to Dildo<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I know what you\u2019re thinking. I don\u2019t do dildos! I\u2019m not that woman. 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